Kindred Spirit Lodge Presents
The Making of a Lady
by Caitlin
(Killian)
July 2004
____****____
Apollo’s Chariot crossed just into midday as the two traveler’s arrived at the rustic hilltop cabin. Caitlin laid in provisions earlier in the week in preparation for this most important day, so the two horse women traveled relatively light on their journey from the Lodge up to the adjoining mountain top hideaway.
Killian did not want this trip. She was in a snit for weeks, and wanted to stay that way. Caitlin, on the other hand, had decided enough was enough, and prepared the cabin for a ritual transformation that was long overdo from her point of view. As it was, Killian did not agree, and said so, at the top of her lungs, just this morning in fact, again to Caitlin, for what was to be the last time.
“Killian, you will lower your voice.” Killian missed the growing quiet in Caitlin’s tone.
“I will do as I bloody well please, and I thank you to remember th-“
Caitlin’s movement was swift to close the distance between them. Just as quickly a weathered broad hand grabbed up a knot of fiery auburn hair, yanking it sharply along behind her as she strode to the nearby table. Before Killian could protest, her torso was jammed up against the table, and bent over it. Her face met wood as she felt an arm twisted painfully behind her prone back.
“Don’t you even breathe,” came the steely voice, cutting off a ready complaint from the lips of the seething lass.
Killian next felt the cold steel blade of Caitlin’s thigh knife as it swiftly cut through all the garments she was wearing. Killian tried to hold fast to her anger, but a chill of fear ran hot up her spine.
The immense hand swung full and hard, connecting to soft flesh, setting off an explosion of pain that rocked the small body, sending jolts of agony to all parts of her being. The hand did not wait for the pain to cease before following up with a series of stinging blows, meant to send a message, along with a significant amount of pain.
Caitlin was relentless, and rhythmic in a disciplinary junkie sort of way. The cadence of the rise and fall of her hand never wavered. Caitlin felt her stubborn woman giving way to the unrelenting force of will. Finally, Caitlin saw a chink in the armor, as a few tears began to fall from deeply defiant eyes. Caitlin spoke firmly.
“Killian.” Caitlin forced Killian’s arm up her back until she cried out, then let loose with three powerful smacks on her already red hot ass. “I have had enough of this, and I do mean enough. Do you hear me?” The Trader didn’t wait for Killian to reply before she let loose with another stinging assault on her ass.
Tears flowed freely now from Killian’s eyes, but no noise after that little outburst. “Killian. I believe I asked you a question.”
Killian tried to speak but the words choked in her throat.
Caitlin lifted her arm high and delivered a ferocious blow to Killian’s burning ass.
This jolted Killian’s vocal cords into action. She literally screamed so loudly what Caitlin asked for, the Lodgers could most certainly hear from the main hall below, around the corner hallway.
“Good.” Caitlin stated flatly. “Now we are getting somewhere. I think you need some serious private time with me, where I help you work through this obvious life change you are dragging not only yourself, but the entire Lodge through.”
Killian bristled. She felt fine. Under siege, but then isn’t that the life of a sub when surrounded by flaming ego’s, and vanity at every turn.
“I don’t ne-“ Killian spit out. Caitlin let her have it with another barrage, longer than the last. This time however, Killian did crack. Caitlin did not relent. Killian wept and screamed, until at last, she finally broke open and surrendered.
Caitlin felt it immediately, stopping the punishment and pulling her wife to her with great compassion, hugging her tight as she stroked her sweat soaked hair.
“Now, my darling,” Caitlin’s voice was soft, and held no trace of anger. “Now
we can begin.
The horses wait outside to take us to the cabin, where I have a plan to help
you move out of this place you’ve outgrown, and into a new you. Come, my
Killian, we have much work to do.” With that Caitlin led a momentarily
compliant Killian with her to the waiting horses.
____****____
(Part 2) --
Killian emerged from her silent reflection, a reflection she was ordered into by Caitlin at the beginning of their ride. Killian did not do well with the unrelenting silence. Her every pore wanted to scream out frustration. Two candlemarks into the ride Killian simply couldn’t stop herself. She started talking about how cranky everyone was, and didn’t Caitlin see that it was not she who was to blame for everyone’s ego’s running amok.
‘Surely,’ Killian thought to herself, ‘Caitlin can’t blame me for the pride of an entire Clan!’
The lass was caught up so deeply in thought she didn’t notice them stopping, or Caitlin dismounting Kiera, until she was yanked, forcefully, off her horse, and set on the ground in front of a stone faced Caitlin.
Caitlin grabbed her lover’s chin. “Apparently, you insist on doing this the hard way all the way through. So be it. You know the drill.” The warrior handed Killian her thigh knife. “I want two switches, and not small like my pinkie this time, Killian. No, not for you today. I want them the size of my thumb. I want them from your special tree, the Maple. Perhaps her special quality will get through to you during this time, where I alone simply could not.” Caitlin leaned in until her lips brushed Killian’s ear. “ Make them good Lass, for they will be your companions through this entire lesson period. Now, GO!”
Caitlin gave Killian’s rump a hard swat as she pushed her forward into the forest. Killian was incredulous. She stalked off into the woods looking for a stand of Maples. Unable to contain herself she began a quiet commentary. “How could she NOT be listening to me. This is not my fault. I am simply high strung of late, or something, and people get on my nerves. Why can’t she see that is not my fault. Frigging Domme’s anyway. Give em’ an inch and will they be decent and just hang themselves? No. They have to lord it over- UNH!”
The slap was sharp and dropped Killian where she stood.
“Get up.” Terror leaped into Killian’s throat as she rose to meet the eyes of a panther… A very angry panther… Caitlin.
SLAP!
Killian’s lip split, as her head reeled and her body came crashing to the ground.
“Up.” Killian understood the deathly tone, and scrambled to her feet as quickly as possible.
“There.” Caitlin’s efficiency of terror brought Killian back to her senses. She knew not to plead, or disobey in any way. She silently kicked herself for going off. She couldn’t seem to stop it lately. She would have plenty of time to berate herself later. Right now, she just wanted to get out of these woods without bloodshed.
The stand of Maples loomed large before them. Caitlin grabbed Killian by a clump of hair, dragging her forward into the main circle. The Trader threw the woman to her knees at the center of the circle.
“Pray to the Great Mother that I don’t beat you senseless where you kneel. I am going to cut the switches myself. I need to cool off. Be naked, and laid across that fallen Maple ready for what you have earned, before I return.”
“I’m sorry, Caitlin.” Killian was already shedding tears.
“For what? For mouthing off? Or for me hearing you? Killian, you already have a lot to answer for without this bull. You are obviously begging me to wail the tar out of you, and I am more than happy to oblige.” Caitlin reached down and grabbed Killian’s chin. “I will give you what you need, every time you need it, until you learn, or until you are broken. At this point, I will take either choice, but know, Killian, the choice in yours.” Caitlin let go of Killian’s chin and walked into the Maples.
~~~
Killian dismounted Flame, still silent, yet no longer sullen. Caitlin’s thrashing notwithstanding, it was her lover’s tone that snapped Killian from her foul haze. Caitlin was actually disappointed in her, she could hear it in the unmistakable sound of her lover’s melodic voice. Killian ached. She wanted nothing more than to be punished now, to cleanse her from this foul stench she felt she had become.
Caitlin watched closely, as Killian grew quiet and withdrawn into herself. The trader was thankful for this new phase, for it meant Killian was indeed remorseful, most likely deeply, and that was something that could help set the tormented fledgling healer, free.
Caitlin planned to keep Killian off guard, and off kilter, until she could continue with the serious reconstructive work. Keeping Killian very uncomfortable was a part of that.
“Over here, Killian.” Caitlin was standing just inside the large tack and storage barn. Wood was cut and pilled high to one side, with boxes of kindling stacked against the wall. Next to that hung large tools, such as axes, saws, and hammers. A wide leather strap hung to the right of these, with a thinner strap next to it. Above them hung 6 paddles of varying shapes and sizes, depending on Caitlin’s mood and need at the time. Sacks of rice and flour stood stacked inside a tin drum, for protection from mice and other gnawing creatures. And to the far end was an entire tack set up, for saddles, bridles, and wagon pulling equipment. In the center of this room was an open space. In this open space sat three bags of flour, laid sideways. It was at these bags that Caitlin pointed.
Killian lowered her eyes and walked to the directed location. Caitlin crossed to the wall, and picked up one of the paddles. Caitlin turned.
“Look at me, Killian.” Killian reluctantly raised her eyes to see the panther on the prowl. She knew this Caitlin, and she also knew she was the student about to learn an all night lesson.
Caitlin stalked her prey, circling slowly with paddle in hand. “This, Killian, is a chestnut wood round paddle. It has a lot of give, so when I strike your butt with it, it will bend in slightly, almost forming to your ass. The pain this paddle delivers is not as bad as some, but considering your earlier misbehavior, I thought a lighter paddle in order. Now.” Caitlin moved Killian’s arms so they clasped behind her back. “Hold this.” She gave Killian the paddle to hold behind her. “I want it touching your ass at all times. Is that clear?”
Killian swallowed. She wasn’t expecting this. A yank on her hair reminded her an answer was being demanded. “Yes, Caitlin.”
“Good girl. Now, let’s see what we have here.” Caitlin began to undo Killian’s pants. Killian felt herself flushing with embarrassment. Caitlin kicked her booted feet apart, startling her. A large knowing hand slipped between Killian’s legs as Caitlin held her captive’s gaze intently. A dark eyebrow shot up, and lips pursed into a fake pout as the warrior’s fingers circled the intensely swollen bud. “Oh, Looks like we have a little need here, don’t we, lass?”
Killian’s head fell back, only to have her curls grabbed at her center and yanked hard. “You will look at me, Killian, at all times, unless I tell you different, do you hear me?”
Fresh tears leapt to Killian’s eyes as her center was jerked. “Yes, Caitlin. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, Killian.” Caitlin purred as she slipped two fingers deep within Killian’s core. “Just don’t disobey. Ever. Got it?”
Killian could hardly breathe as Caitlin sensually fucked her. “Yes, Caitlin. I got it.”
Caitlin knew every nuance of how Killian ticked. She fucked her slowly, like a master artist working with clay, molding her to where she wanted Killian to be. The artist pulled her subject to the edge of extreme need. The warrior felt Killian’s body trembling, holding back with all her might the release she so desperately sought. Caitlin knew how far Killian could go and no longer be able to hold out. She took her to that brink. Then suddenly pulled out.
“Turn around.” Killian didn’t move, too lost in need. Caitlin slipped the paddle from her hand.
“KILLIAN!” Caitlin barked.
Killian jumped, totally confused, unsure of where she was. Exactly where Caitlin wanted her.
“Turn around, Now.” Killian turned as if standing in thick fog.
“Pull down your britches. Do It.” Killian moved to obey the voice.
“lay over the bags. Now.” Killian pushed herself over.
“Up on tiptoes. Right now, Killian. Spread your legs.” Killian slid herself up and over the bags, spreading herself as wide as possible. Suddenly she felt the flour bag mold to her, and her arousal was returned to its peak.
The firm hand on her back signaled what was to come. Yet, not quite. The first strike burst her ass into a new flame and brought her again to the brink of orgasm.
“Don’t, Killian.”
Killian fought it as the second strike hit just above the first.
“Caitlin, I can’t hold it.”
“You will” Caitlin let loose with 10 medium to soft swats. On Killian they burned like fire as the lass struggled to obey Caitlin, and hold in her own orgasm.
“Ok, stand up.”
Killian was more confused now. Was Caitlin not going to help her? Not going to give her release?
Killian was yanked up until she was standing in front of Caitlin, not the panther.
“Pull yourself together, we have a lot to get to.” Caitlin crossed to hang up the paddle.
Killian stared after her, suddenly enraged. “Caitlin, you aren’t gonna leave me like this.”
Caitlin hung up the paddle, turned with eyes ablaze, burning right through Killian as she crossed the small space between them.
Killian tried to drop her eyes to the floor, but Caitlin caught her chin and gently tipped it up. With a voice soft as still water, Caitlin spoke.
“My love, you have much to learn this night. I have much to give you, and I will give you more than your heart could dream of before we are through.” She reached down and gently kissed the swollen lip, and licked off the excess blood. “ But you have not yet earned release yet, and I will not give it to you until I believe you completely understand our purpose here. Your only focus, Killian, is to obey me in all things, willingly, and without attitude of any kind. You have not shown yet that you are capable of this.”
Killian tried to look away, but Caitlin’s grip was firm. “You are mine,
Killian, and as such I have some responsibility to remind you of who you truly
are, not who you are behaving like now. You are a wondrous woman Killian, and
by the end of this night, you will be crying your assent to that statement,
along with the release you are in such need of.”
____****____
(Part 3) --
Killian breathed a sigh of relief when she and Caitlin finally made it out of the Tack Barn. She felt unsettled in her current state, and was not comforted in the knowing that Caitlin intended to keep her in this place between arousal and fear, indefinitely. Caitlin was as serious as she had ever seen her. This reality humbled Killian and softened her usual defiance measurably. Even Killian had to admit to herself that she was out of control, lately. She didn’t know why she snapped like a twig in the forest every time certain people crossed her path. She always had the ability to respect and detach before. Respect those she could, and detach from everything else. It worked for her during the years Caitlin was out of her life. Why had it stopped working now?
Killian felt out of control to herself, ever since they were in Denmark, and that heroic part of her rose up to defeat Dalton. When she came back to herself, she was no longer there to come back to. She felt lost ever since. She talked about it to no one, and just hoped it would settle itself out. Apparently it wasn’t, for here she was, having her ass kept on a perpetual state of high burn, along with her desire. Would Caitlin have to break her, in order to heal her? Killian prayed she would not have to go down that road.
Caitlin watched from the corner of her eye as her mate walked next to her. The trader was pleased to find Killian so deep in thought, instead of struggling, or smarting off. This meant Killian was indeed taking to the attention given, and working to correct herself. Caitlin sensed for some time that something was off in Killian, and she didn’t think this drastic intense action would correct all that ailed the budding healer. It pained her, but she knew she would have to consult Nessa, for the Druid walked in a world Caitlin could only connect with using great effort. Nessa would be able to see if Killian needed help beyond what she could provide.
Killian was acting this way partly as a cry to have her lover re-assert dominance over her, and bring her more safety. This she would give her tonight. But there was something more. Something deeper that Caitlin knew was beyond her. Yes, she settled with herself. As soon as Nessa returned from her journey, the first thing Caitlin would do was to talk to the Druid. She would ask for Nessa’s assistance in healing their mutual dearest friend. But right now, Caitlin planned to give the love of her life the safety and discipline she had been screaming out for. After this night, there would no longer be a Killian the sub, as the Lodge once knew her. Caitlin planned on claiming all that was Caitlin’s, and demanding from Killian all that her unique submission to this particular warrior entailed.
When the two reached the back door of the cabin, Caitlin spoke:
“Killian. You will go relieve yourself and come back to me ready to work. Is that clear?”
Killian nodded assent and ran off in the direction of the outhouse. While she was gone, Caitlin opened the storage shed, and pulled out Killian’s favorite gardening tools. The trader already purchased a large assortment of bedding plants, and brought them up earlier in the week. Killian would not expect this turn of events. Caitlin smiled. She knew Killian craved the discipline, as did she, but there was nothing more precious to the warrior than that radiant smile that she could sometimes bring to Killian’s face. That smile was what Caitlin lived for. That smile, and those eyes showing her, when they looked up at her, brimming with tears, that she and only she, was the one Killian most wanted in this world. Caitlin would walk through Hades, with a boulder tied to her back, if she knew at the end of it she would see that blessed face, looking for all the world to her as the face of Grace herself.
Killian returned, out of breath, which pleased Caitlin greatly. “Now, Killian, I have much to do to prepare for tonight’s ritual rite of passage.” Killian’s eyes widened as she heard Caitlin describe what was to happen in this way. Caitlin continued, knowing Killian would have much to mull over while she worked. “I want you to garden.” Killian gasped, visibly shaken. She started to speak, but the trader cut her off. “Killian, I never told you that I was bringing you here to torture you for two days, now did I? I know that working with the soil is one of the greatest healing things you do for yourself, and I have noticed that you haven’t been near the garden in 2 moons.” Killian raised an eyebrow, to which Caitlin replied, “You think I am not paying attention, my love?”
Caitlin circled Killian’s waist in a warm embrace. “I notice everything. Like that you have spent way too much of your time in the kitchen, gossiping with Millie and whoever else will participate. That stops as of now.” Killian’s face flushed with embarrassment. “Yes, my love, I notice. I notice too that you have taken on too much work caring for the Lodge. There are plenty of people to assist you, Killian, and you are going to start allowing them too. That is not a request.” Caitlin saw a retort form on Killian’s lips, so she leaned down and kissed them, taking great care with the swollen lip she had given her earlier.
“Killian. I don’t say these things to punish you, but to stop you from punishing yourself. You have a focus, and a duty that comes before the Lodge now, and many others don’t. I am taking you back, Killian. It’s time.”
When Caitlin put it that way, Killian had no argument that could override what she knew to be true. She was killing herself to please two Number one loves, where there could only be one. Killian felt a heavy weight lift off of her, and drop to the ground. She didn’t know she was carrying this burden, until now that it was gone. She hugged Caitlin with all her might. Caitlin returned the hug. “Now, you will garden out here, enjoying yourself under the warm sun, and light breeze, until I call you in. When you step foot in the Cabin, Killian, the rite of passage ritual begins. I expect you to behave with the reverence this time is calling for. Do you understand?”
Killian choked up as she looked around and saw the plants Caitlin had gotten several days ago, in preparation for this day. Her love had gone to great lengths to help her out of this dark place she was in, and she was bloody well going to do her part as best she could. “Yes, Caitlin, I understand. I will show the respect and reverence you have earned, and this time calls for. I vow it on my life.”
Now, it was Caitlin’s turn to smile. Killian always was a quick study. She could see a clarity in Killian’s eyes that hadn’t been there in some time. The warrior thanked Grace silently that she’d gotten to Killian before it was too late.
“There is one more thing, lass.” Killian turned to look into the eyes of her strict warrior.
“Come here.” Caitlin led Killian to a bench seated just behind the cabin. She pulled the woman over to her. “I made a promise to you that I would keep you on fire both inside and out, and I plan to keep that promise.” Caitlin slid knowing hands up under Killian’s shirt, as she brought the lass to stand in between her knees. Caitlin pulled the shirt up to expose two full and erect mounds. She crushed them both simultaneously with her weathered hands, smiling at the sounds of Killian’s moans. The trader picked the lass up by the waist.
“Wrap your legs around me Killian.” Caitlin set Killian’s soaking wet center to rest on the full length pressing up inside her leather pants. Killian nearly came with the contact alone. As it was she screamed in shock and agony, knowing she would be tormented out of her mind before Caitlin put her down. Killian was right, the torment was slow, and deliciously torturous. The warrior took a ripe nipple into her mouth and suckled in rhythm with the movement of Killian’s ass. The warrior pressed hard, so her center slid up and down the firm bulge. Killian was raging with ache inside. The slow movement was making her insane. She wanted to push the warrior back, and jam that length inside of her, so she could ride it to ecstasy. She tried to press on Caitlin’s shoulders. All movement stopped. She felt herself being pulled away from the warrior, only to be returned face down over her lap.
“You just couldn’t obey, could you, Killian?” The hand descended fast, delivering a barrage of seemingly very hard spanks. “You couldn’t just go where I was taking you.” Again, and again the slightly curved hand found a tender bottom and swelled it further. Caitlin was merciless, it felt, though in fact, she was spanking quite light for her. Killian simply was quite tender, and any spanking at all would feel like fire.
Finally, after Killian slumped in Caitlin’s lap, the tall trader ceased, standing Killian back on her feet.
“Now, you garden, Killian. I will call you again, to spank you, when I feel it is time, but until then, you are to have nothing but an enjoyable time.” Killian felt a mix of emotions. Excitement, terror, happiness, arousal, fear. She looked at Caitlin, who smiled, for this was exactly where she wanted Killian to be.
____****____
(Part 4) --
Caitlin walked to the back door and looked out. She smiled at the dirt smudge over Killian’s right eye. The healer was in concert with creation for the better part of the afternoon. The garden was circular, not square as most were. Killian was fond of circles, and often talked of the spiral of life, when in her more psychic moments. Color abounded everywhere. Delphiniums, poppies, Cosmos, Bachelor’s buttons. Lavender, and sage ringed the center circle. Caitlin tried to find the best low maintenance plants, for this was a vacation hide-away, and the Earth would have to keep the plants alive when Killian was not close to give them her special brand of tending.
Caitlin watched her lover talk and sing to the plants as she worked with them. Killian was never more at home than in a garden, and it seemed the very energies of life came to sit with her as she worked. Caitlin made the decision not to go out and interrupt the lass for a spanking after seeing her the first time, so full of joy, which was Caitlin’s final desire. Who was she to interrupt what Grace was offering her loving woman.
No, she decided to wait until the actual time she needed Killian to enter the Sacred Space she created for this evening. A large change would be asked of from Killian this night, one that the lass would not be allowed to refuse. Caitlin understood the nuanced give and take between them, and this change was in actuality a gift that Killian had deserved for some time now, only the lass didn’t see herself as deserving, and wouldn’t tonight either. It would be up to Caitlin’s powers of persuasion, and not simply that of the belt, to get her woman to see who she had grown to become. As it was Killian was caught, between her past as a sweet and often mischievous trouble-maker. An armor she wore since childhood, to protect the knowing psychic and gentle healer that lived within, from an often cruel world. Killian would rather face a harsh whipping, at the hands of unfriendly tribe elders, than reveal the lonely, precious feeler of all things. Her tongue became her weapon when her playfulness failed to work. No one could lacerate the tender ego of a friend or foe more quickly, than Killian, when cornered.
Caitlin knew all of this well, and through her own will, a stronger hand than Killian’s tough hide, and quiet insight, the trader was able to break through the fortified defenses, and get to the painfully lonely, and achingly needy girl on the other side. It took Caitlin a full cycle of seasons to get through to Killian the first time, and much disciplined devotion to keep those walls from re-asserting themselves in times of stress for the young woman. Caitlin understood that though she returned from captivity, Killian had not. The lass tried very hard to be obedient and deferential, but those thick walls were back in place now, and something in Denmark made Killian unable to hold the delicate balance she was forcing from herself, since Caitlin’s return. The warrior understood that tonight was only a beginning to reclaiming the tender soul that was Killian. Much more work was needed to help heal the healer. Nessa understood this as well, Caitlin was sure of it. She knew the Druid was staying away partly to stay out of what might have been a destructive scene between them, had Caitlin not come to the awareness that enveloped her now. If this was to be a beginning, then she wanted to make it be the best beginning possible for the love of her life.
“Killian,” Caitlin called from the porch. It’s time. Her heart skipped a beat as Killian looked up from the garden with pure love in her eyes. “I’ll give you a candle-mark to get all this put away. I expect you at the door and ready for me to take you in for a bath at the end of that time. Do you understand what is expected of you?”
Killian’s breathing was slow and even. She noticed that she almost longed for the spankings she was getting from Caitlin. For with each one she would be able to shed one more piece of guilt or shame she carried. She found that when this day started, she was racked with rage, and shame for her inability to stop her own behavior. Now there was actually some room for compassion, and kindness within her. She was still uncertain if she could ever forgive herself for being the walking tornado she became. She knew Caitlin would ask it of her, so she was allowing for the idea at least. A far cry from wanting to bash Caitlin with a shovel, as she thought of doing this morning.
“Yes, Caitlin, I understand, and I will be ready.”
~~~
Killian stood at the door, earlier than expected, wanting to make sure Caitlin understood her commitment to what she was doing. Her palms were sweaty with fear, and her center ached for the torment she knew was to come, before any release would be allowed. Killian was quite aware that she earned a night of severe discipline from Caitlin, complete with a bullwhip to address her serious transgressions of late. She was prepared if that was where Caitlin would take her, for she deserved every lick of Caitlin’s belt. Killian couldn’t help but hold her breath, consciously surrendering to that which she brought down upon herself.
Caitlin opened the door to the delight of Killian’s gasp. The warrior was dressed in a crisp white shirt with billowing arms, tucked into form fitting soft black leather pants, tucked into thigh high black leather boots. Around her waist was a burgundy sash made of silk, with the tied part hanging down the side of the warrior’s incredibly long legs. Her hair was brushed free, and flowing black and wild off her collar, half way down her back. Her blue eyes grabbed hold of Killian, forcing all breath from her lungs. The lass stood mesmerized that this dark goddess was hers.
The goddess spoke. “Killian, for tonight, you will pay special care to how you address me. You will use my name each time you speak to me, such as, yes, Caitlin, or no, Caitlin, though I doubt you will have much reason to say no to me. Do you understand?”
Killian felt her head get light, as she struggled to speak. “Y…yes, Caitlin, I understand.”
“From this moment on, you are on Sacred ground, Killian. I expect you to handle yourself with the reverence this night deserves. Is that clear?”
Killian couldn’t help but feel intense love for the lengths this woman would go for her. She said quietly, “Yes, Caitlin, it is quite clear. I will behave accordingly.”
“Good, then give me your hand, Killian.” The warrior clicked her heels together, and bent into a slight bow, reaching out her hand for her lover.
Killian took the offered hand. And so it began.
____****_____
(Part 5) --
The first thing Killian noticed was the wondrous smell of food. She had not eaten anything more than an apple, and some jerky on their ride up here. The growing rumble in her stomach made them both notice how hungry she was now.
“Dinner’s not far off, my sweet, but first, you must be made ready to receive what is due you.”
Killian wondered if this meant she would be shackled all night, for this is what she believed she deserved.
Caitlin led them into the bathing room. Candles were glowing in three different places, bringing a sensual feel to the room. The bath was scented with jasmine, one of Killian’s favorite fragrances on earth.
Caitlin stood Killian near the tub. “Stand still while I undress you.” Killian flushed red. She never felt her lover take her clothes off like this before. Cut them off, or tear them off, yes, but simply remove them, slowly, never. Her ears burned bright as Caitlin began unfastening her top. Soft kisses trailed up an arm freed from clothing captivity. Killian soaked it in like a sponge. Caitlin directed her to sit as she gently removed her boots, with knowing caresses of rugged feet and thighs, used to a hard scramble life. Next came the britches. Killian clenched and unclenched, filled with trepidation, for she knew this act meant she was about to get another spanking. Somehow, she didn’t think any of tonight’s punishments would be anything like she received before. Everything about this first one made her feel even more different, special, vulnerable, and laid open.
Killian didn’t have to wait long. Caitlin pointed to a small table, covered with a beautiful Celtic knot weave. “Bend over it, and hold on.”
Killian bent over the table, with her legs spread wide, so the warrior didn’t have to kick them apart for her. Caitlin spoke. “Killian, I have in my hand a switch from the Maple tree. Your tree. It seemed fitting to me, that we begin your ritual cleansing with this switch.”
Killian had to love the magic of it, though she didn’t look forward to it’s bite.
“I will give you 6 good licks with it. You need do nothing but feel each one, and stay in place to take them. The 6 is your soul number, I know, and the number 6 represents the Lover’s. That is what you are, Killian, a lover of all life. You are tender, and you feel all things deeply. You are able to bring seemingly opposing emotions together. You see the light in the darkness, and you are able to bring it forth. I am drawn to you, for you are my light, Killian.” Caitlin said softly.
The healer couldn’t believe the beauty of Caitlin’s words. Her emotions ran high, and she took this first stinging lick as the first “healing stroke” of whatever disciplinary tool Caitlin would bring forth this night.
The Maple switch burned, as it left its imprint across Killian’s backside. The lass fell into the blows as if in a trance. They burned like nothing she could remember. She was unable to keep the tears from coming. She welcomed each strike, wanting this cleansing ritual with all of her soul.
Caitlin could sense the shift in Killian. The lass was at ease and breathing steadily, even after four solid licks. Killian even raised up off of the table to meet the switch, as if she was calling it to her. Caitlin nodded knowingly. She had indeed done her work well, and Killian longed for the healing she would give her this night. Pain would become Killian’s friend, forming the vehicle for which Caitlin could release her of her bonds.
As the fierce sixth stroke landed, Killian began to weep in earnest. Partly from pain, and partly from release. Caitlin laid down the switch and picked up her lover with focused tenderness.
“Time for your bath, sweetheart.”
Killian sank into the tub, yelping only once when her bottom made contact with the wooden bench inside the tub. She dunked herself fully in the tub, allowing the negative energies of the day to melt away under Caitlin’s reverent care. The warrior washed every part of Killian, as if she was discovering her for the first time, ever, this night. The bath was a sensual dance between two lover’s whose hearts were joined through time and space, with Caitlin serving Killian as she never did before.
When the bath was finished, Caitlin took Killian from the tub, cradling her in her lap to dry her. She pulled Killian to her, rocking and humming as she patted the damp skin dry. The trader’s right hand moved purposefully, as it patted the inside of Killian’s thigh, requesting entrance. A palm cupped the woman’s swollen center. Caitlin growled with intoxication at the lasses need. She bit down on a tender neck as a finger slid purposefully around Killian’s core.
Killian gasped, fighting hard not to come with the masterful caresses of her lover. She ached deliciously with need, and moaned heavily into Caitlin’s shoulder.
“Not now, my love.” Caitlin whispered as she thrust two fingers into Killian, beginning a slow and torturous fucking.
Killian didn’t know what was worse. The biting pain of the switch, or the tormenting pleasure of a gentle fucking. Both made her ache in ways she never allowed before. Both drew her to a new place inside herself.
Caitlin brought Killian to the very edge before pulling fingers out and standing her up.
“Time to move on, my love. Come with me.” Caitlin took a shaky legged Killian with her into the bedroom.
One single candle lit the warm and inviting room. Killian smiled at Caitlin’s simplicity of purpose. The bed was made with pale yellow silk sheets, covered with a gray and green leafed thick down comforter. The three Bay windows curtains were open, and the sun was just beginning to set over the Lake.
Caitlin walked to a chair placed in the center of the room, and quickly pulled Killian to lay across her lap.
“I am going to spank you now, Killian, as I fuck you, and you are allowed to come, as often as you can handle, until you are sated. The spanking will be fierce to match the fucking, but you have earned a taste of ecstasy before I dress you for dinner.
Killian couldn’t believe her good fortune. Caitlin was definitely treating her differently tonight. Usually, she would make her wait all night for even one release, but the healer thought Caitlin had other lessons in mind, and didn’t want her being driven to distraction with need, to prevent her from getting the message. She gasped as those magical fingers found her bud and circled. A hard volley of spanks followed, pressing Killian into the trader’s fingers and strong thigh with each smack. It didn’t take long for Killian to cry out her first orgasm, as it shook through her entire body. A second one came quickly on it’s heels for the warrior knew just how to work magic with Killian’s core. The lass cried out loudly, and stiffened across Caitlin’s knees in extended euphoria.
Then she settled in for a long fucking, and hard spanking, as she focused all her might on a third orgasm. The burn in her ass was beginning to make her sweat as she reached closer and closer. Caitlin was patient, and consistent with both her hands. They each understood from lifetimes with Killian just what was called for, and they were determined to deliver. At last a third thundering orgasm ripped from the panting lass, followed very closely by a forth, as Killian rode the wave Caitlin created inside of her.
Killian was quite winded now, but not yet sated. A fifth and final orgasm would be called forth through unrelenting will on the part of both women. Killian stiffened like a board, crying out her lover’s name as if it were sacred. She screamed “Caitlin” for all the heavens to hear, then dropped over her lover’s lap, suddenly released and sated from the ache in her loins, held captive in a state of near nirvana for an entire day.
Caitlin laid her hand on Killian’s bottom as she waited for the healer to catch her breath. Her ass was indeed aflame, and sitting for dinner would be a struggle. Caitlin wanted it that way, for they were now into the hard work of the evening, and pain would serve as Caitlin’s aide in what was to come about. Killian would pay attention, and Caitlin would prevail. The trader saw no other way.
____****____
(Part 6) --
Caitlin led Killian by the hand from the bedroom. The warrior dressed her lover in one of her soft white shirts, with billowing white sleeves. Since this was one of Caitlin’s shirts, it naturally came down to Killian’s knees. The trader completed the ensemble with her wide leather belt, whispering to the lass as she slipped the belt around her waist, tying it at the front, for it was too long to buckle:
“Killian, you will wear this, knowing that when it is removed, it will be for the sole purpose of using on you, if I choose. I will use this on you only if I am displeased with your improvement. If this belt is used it will be entirely up to you.”
Killian’s heart nearly stopped beating as she felt supple leather sliding around her. Caitlin rarely used this on her, and when she did, Killian could remember every detail down to how many breaths between strikes the warrior allowed her. Killian was mortally afraid of this belt. Caitlin knew this, so the very act of making Killian wear the worst tool of punishment besides Caitlin’s bullwhip, showed Killian just how serious the trader was in expecting compliance with her demands.
Killian’s center throbbed with renewed fear and respect. Caitlin going to these lengths to affect change in her, made her want to give everything she had to her mate.
After pulling the belt around, and tying it onto Killian’s waist, Caitlin pulled the young woman to her as she sat on the arm of her favorite over-stuffed chair. She lifted Killian up to straddle her thigh while closing in on her mouth for a hungry kiss. Killian moaned sharply as the trader bit down on her tongue, drawing blood and sucking it from her hungrily. Two large hands grabbed Killian’s hot ass, drawing a cry from her, as nails pressed in, rocking Killian roughly up and back on the warrior’s leather clad thigh. Moisture soaked the leather. Killian cried out again when a breast was coarsely squeezed by a growling Caitlin. The warrior came as close as she would all evening to losing composure, and just taking what was hers, on this carpet, right now. As it was the trader jammed a hand under the writhing woman, thrusting two fingers deep inside of her, while biting down hard on her neck, trickling a small line of blood onto the pristine white shirt. As her thumb circled Killian’s nub, the warrior demanded hotly, “You will come for me, right now, Killian.”
Killian didn’t need to be told twice. Her head fell back, as Caitlin bit harder, and fucked her rougher still.
“Oh Great Mother… CAITLIN!” Killian shouted in a frenzy.
The warrior didn’t stop. She wanted more. Her nails dug into Killian’s ass as she seductively rolled that tender bud over into another orgasm. Killian screamed, grabbing Caitlin’s hair and bucking hard, like the filly she was. Her deep keen grew into a long wail while the orgasm played itself out as if suspended in time, allowing the lover’s to be frozen for a brief eternity, in divine ecstasy, each holding fast to the other, dancing a wild passionate overture to an evening that had just begun.
Caitlin held onto Killian for a long time. First to settle her, then as a rush of protective love overtook her, Caitlin wanted nothing more than to hold Killian nestled in her arms forever. Never had Caitlin felt this way about another, and she feared breaking the spell.
It was Killian’s stomach that finally got the two lover’s moving. Caitlin chuckled as she set Killian back on her feet.
“Leave it to you to be thinking of food.” The trader straightened out Killian’s clothes, as the lass stood and let her. Neither woman mentioned it, but both were quite turned on by the traces of blood left on Killian.
Killian playfully pouted, “Hey, it isn’t my fault you didn’t feed me all day, you cruel task Mistress.”
Caitlin wiped a drop of blood off of Killian’s shoulder with her thumb, offering it to Killian to suck clean. The lass obliged. Caitlin’s eyes narrowed as she grabbed the wide brush, swatting Killian lightly on the butt before re-brushing her beautiful deep auburn mane.
“Watch it, lass. You call me Mistress one more time, and this brush will get a thorough guided tour around your backside. Got me?”
Killian loved to have Caitlin brush her hair. No one ever did it more gently than her tough warrior. There wouldn’t be anyone who would believe her if she tried to tell them of Caitlin’s softness. As the warrior caressed her face, Killian smiled affectionately.
“I got you, Caitlin. No Mistress for you.”
When Caitlin felt Killian looked precisely as she should for this sacred dinner, she took Killian’s hand and led her from the bedroom, into what usually was the main living space. Tonight it was transformed into an intimate dining area for two. A low fire burned crackling in the fireplace, which Killian loved even though it was summer. Caitlin knew she would be chilled and also that she longed for fires every chance there was to have one.
Around the room were small groups of candles, next to ornate vases of lilacs, Killian’s favorite scent on Earth. The trader had the furniture draped with beautiful silk cloth from her trading journeys to the far east. Burgundy, and rich forest green with gold trim, blanketed the furnishings all around the room. The dinner table near the fire place was covered with one white silk tablecloth, topped with a shorter square crushed velvet burgundy cloth. The cream colored dinnerware was a gift to Caitlin from a noblewoman in Chin. The candle holder, a silver Celtic knot, held a small votive. On each plate lay a sprig of lilac to complete the well thought out display.
Killian stood mesmerized in the doorway, overcome with emotion. No one had ever gone to such lengths to create this kind of sensual beauty for her before. She melted into Caitlin, clinging to her as she wept from the sheer joy of it all.
“This is for you, my Killian. You deserve all of this and much more. I am grateful that I can offer you but a humble taste of the limitless love I have for you.” Caitlin was holding her tight, and cooing into the soft curls atop her head, as she rested her lips to kiss what was hers.
“Sit, my love. I have something to say.”
The hairs on the back of Killian’s neck stood up, as she allowed herself to be escorted to the table. Caitlin lovingly placed a fluffy pillow on the chair for her to sit on. She mouthed the words, ‘Thank you,’ to Caitlin, as she gingerly took her seat. Caitlin nodded, and joined her across the small table. Night settled into the valley below, and the moon reflected brightly off of the shimmering water. Caitlin didn’t fail to notice Killian’s fear rising as she uncorked the bottle of wine.
“This red was from an Amazon tribe in Gaul, Killian. I thought it might help you have a feel for your people, as we move into the most sacred part of this night.”
Killian watched intently as Caitlin poured them both a glass. “Thank you, Caitlin. Thoughtful of you to think of where I came from.” Killian took a sip, and luxuriated in memory of her Amazon life, as she breathed in the aroma.
“I have been thinking a lot about where you came from when I met you, Killian, and a great deal on who you have become since.” Caitlin watched closely, as Killian put the glass down and sat looking at her through squinted eyes. Caitlin continued, “Killian, during this time with me you have been on a journey of growth. You are remarkable really. You have endured much, my love, keeping your special quality of humanity intact. I am in awe of you, Killian. Quite simply in awe.”
Killian did not know what to make of this. Caitlin was not talking in the way she expected. She was certain that when the “talk” came, it would be about the terrible display she’d been putting on lately, making Caitlin ashamed of her. Then she expected to be told what the corrective measures would be, which she was sure would be quite harsh, for Killian believed she earned this. The lass sat silently staring at Caitlin, perplexed.
Caitlin hid her smile, for that would break the spell, but Killian’s unease pleased her immensely. She continued. “Killian, I believe you to be an incredibly brave, and even heroic woman. During my captivity you had to fend for yourself through unceasing grief, keeping hope alive long after everyone else felt it was healthy. I think you did what you had to do, and I am proud of you for how you survived without me. I do not think I would have had your courage to face life as you did, day in and day out, knowing I wouldn’t be there to aid you.”
Killian began to cry, lightly at first, then falling into a deeper ache as Caitlin rose and came to her, kneeling beside her and hugging her close.
“I know, Killian. You have only held on through sheer force of will. For you, my love, there was no other way to hold onto your sanity, except through sheer force of will.”
Killian cried raggedly onto Caitlin’s shoulder. “You have no idea, Caitlin.”
“Oh, but Killian, you forget, I was without you too, I think I do know.”
Killian looked up and saw Caitlin’s face, clear and bright, as opposed to the pain and anguish she saw in her lover’s face when they rescued her. It was as if lighting flashed inside her and the knowing was made clear for the first time.
“Of course you know. You knew. All this time I thought I was alone in my suffering. All this time I thought I was alone.” Killian looked as if she was hit by an anvil.
Caitlin stood up, crossing to sit on her side of the table. She waited.
It didn’t take long, for Killian was sharp. A quality Caitlin loved, and frequently wanted to throttle her for.
“Caitlin.” Killian said into her hands. “How could I have been so selfish? So thoughtless?”
Killian’s heart started beating in triple time. She started to fidget in her chair. She wanted nothing more than to be anywhere but here right now.
“Killian.” Caitlin’s tone held no nonsense. “Look at me. Now.”
Killian swallowed. She felt caught. Shame engulfed her. She had been shutting Caitlin out ever since the trader’s return, and now she was found out. The pit in her stomach felt worse now then when she than Caitlin was going to beat her senseless for merely being thoughtless for a few days, not this many seasons, to her of all people, about this. Killian felt sick.
“Killian.” Caitlin’s voice grew eerily quiet. “Look…at…me.”
Killian looked up, her face flushed with deep guilt and embarrassment.
“I know how you feel about yourself right now. We have to do something about that, but I need you to listen to me on this, and listen well.”
Killian waited for the worst. Caitlin’s sapphire eyes bore into her.
“I do not blame you for shutting me out. I don’t blame you for anything, not even your recent aberrant behavior. I think you did the only thing you had strength to do, which was think only of yourself. I want you to know that I forgive you totally of any harm you think you may have caused me. Do you hear me?”
“How can you stand me, Caitlin? You were stuck in hell, and all I could do was think of me? What a whore I am.”
“Stop it. Right now, Killian. I won’t have you doing that to yourself. Not in my name.”
“But,”
“NO!” Caitlin slammed her hand on the table. “I will punish you, for you will not forgive yourself until I do, but it is not for ME I will be doing it. It will be for you, alone. I do not blame you, and I have nothing to punish you for. But I will NOT allow you to torment yourself about this. With this punishment, it ends. You will be clean of guilt, and shame. You will be free of it. I will be taking you back, make no mistake about it. And I will make a large demand of you, which will change your life. You can use that to help make this cleansing punishment a clean slate. That is how I will help you. Is that clear?”
Killian swallowed. She could see Caitlin was deadly serious about this. The warrior would not allow one moment of self torture over this unconscionable transgression.
“And don’t think, Killian, that you can hold it in and I won’t know it. I will do what is needed to make you feel clean tonight, but your promise to me is that it ends with that, here, tonight, in this cabin. I demand that promise from you. On your honor.”
Killian wanted to throw up. The trader gave her no choice.
“I accept, Caitlin. It ends here, tonight.”
____****____
(Part 7) --
The night calling Mockingbird sang from the Birch, just outside the open window. Killian, the growing psychic knew this call to be a sign from Grace. ‘All is well, Child.’ She called to Killian, on the birds song. ‘Release now, your ache, for I have much in mind for that space you will clear.’ Killian looked at her hands. These hands would be used in the service of Grace for all her life to come. In order to claim the power she must, as a psychic and healer, she would have to let go of that which held her down. Her shame was immense. She didn’t know if Caitlin could free her from it with one whipping, or 50. She felt something greater was needed, but she didn’t yet know what that would be. She sensed Caitlin understood her limitations, and had plans beyond this little mountain retreat.
Killian pulled out her chair, and fell to her knees in front of Caitlin in abject humility and complete surrender. Caitlin allowed this wounded angel to lay her bowed head on her lap, willingly subjecting herself to whatever ‘remedy’ Caitlin herself would now bring about. Caitlin wanted to deliver a simple spanking, but knew it wouldn’t satisfy the hungry ache of self hate Killian carried with such purpose. She knew her love wanted the belt, or the whip, for they terrified her most, and Killian knew Caitlin only used them when the trader was very angry. Caitlin was not angry at all this time, however, and she acted now in total service to Killian’s personal demons, alone. She would exorcise them, but not at the expense of Killian believing she, Caitlin, was harboring any ill will at all. She wouldn’t do that to Killian. Not this night. Not ever. But she would play out this scene as Killian needed. Precisely as she needed it.
Caitlin stood up, taking Killian’s hand and guiding her to stand as well. She took her love’s tender face in her weathered hand, grabbing Killian’s attention with her intense gaze. “Killian, I plan to hold you accountable for your transgressions, you can count on that. You will receive a punishment you will not soon forget, hopefully ever. Once this is done, I expect these actions to not be repeated by you again. I also expect this self destructive behavior to cease. Immediately. Is that clear?”
Killian’s aching need for what she nearly begged to happen, left her struck momentarily dumb.
SLAP!
Killian dropped like a rock to the floor, holding her re-opened split lip.
“Up.” Caitlin stood spread legged, both hands on her hips, looking all the world to Killian as if she was about to beat her senseless.
Killian hustled to her feet, head up, awaiting another blow. She flinched when Caitlin grabbed a knot of hair, yanking back as she moved in close.
“When I speak to you, you will answer, swiftly and properly, is that clear?”
“Yes, Caitlin. It’s clear.”
“Alright, answer me then.”
Killian swallowed, she couldn’t think of anything besides those blazing blue eyes, piercing her soul.
Caitlin grabbed her chin. “Do you need some reminding, Killian?”
“Caitlin, I’m sorry, I-“
Caitlin didn’t wait for explanations. “I said, when I am through with you, you will cease this incessant self abuse, and selfish behavior, immediately and forever. Got it?”
Killian couldn’t move in the vice grip Caitlin held her in, body and soul.
“Yes, Caitlin. I got it, and I will stop it all, or you can…”
“Wail the tar out of you some more? No, Killian. You will get what you deserve tonight, and that is the end of this struggle, period. I am not asking you this, my love, I am telling you. Are we clear?”
Killian finally breathed out. Caitlin would give her what she deserved, and she would let it go, as Grace and Caitlin commanded. “Yes, Caitlin. We are clear. I will do as you say, in everything.”
“Good.” The warrior released her captive. “Now, go stand next to the fireplace, facing the wall, with your arms high above your head, palms touching stone. When I’m ready for you, I’ll call you. Until that time, you think about how you earned this punishment, and how you’re going to release it, as ordered, when we’re completed here. Understand?”
“Yes, Caitlin.” Killian was finally at peace. The peace one has at the center of a hurricane. Caitlin however, roiled with emotion.
“Good.” Caitlin pulled Killian to her, hugging her companion for life fiercely. “I will get you through this, Killian. I promise. Now, go.”
~~~
Caitlin paced around the tack room like the executioner waiting to fall the ax, thus severing some poor fools head from their body. She was surly and impatient.
THWIP!
Thunk.
THWIP!
Thunk.
The two knives stood, arrogantly gloating from the bulls-eye on the wooden board Caitlin kept at one end of the room.
THWIP!
Thunk.
Caitlin never missed the bulls-eye even when she wasn’t looking, as she wasn’t, now.
The narrowed eyes of the trader were fixed on the contents inside the frame of the window, backlit by the teeming firelight. She hadn’t meant this Barn window to face the house like this, but it acted now as the perfect portal to witness her lover’s mounting distress. She could almost see the beads of sweat running down Killian’s back, as she struggled to hold her hands in position above her head. Caitlin knew Killian wasn’t one to disobey a direct order, she didn’t watch now for insolence, but like any good hunter, this Panther loved the simple pleasure of watching her prey squirm, knowing there would be no escape, no retreat. No divine intervention.
Caitlin watched, mesmerized, as Killian pulled back a hand from the wall, unleashing a torrent of passionate screaming, as she slapped hard at the smooth stone wall in front of her. Killian’s window was already open, and Caitlin moved quickly to open her smaller one, hoping to hear what her lover yelled.
“-od Damn, how I hate you. You stupid little fuck. I fucking can’t stand you.” Then a violent barrage of pounding slaps upon the stone surface, made obviously without concern for Killian’s well being. Then Caitlin heard it. A momentary Oasis of sanity, amidst the self abuse.
“Caitlin,” Killian dropped her head against the wall, crying out, “Help me. Hurry, before I do something we will both regret. Caitlin. Come to me now, before I beat myself senseless. Or worse.”
Caitlin dropped her last two knives to the floor and was out the door in a flash. She bolted through the back door, and was in the room with Killian in moments.
“Killian.” Caitlin’s tone was low and sensual.
Killian gasped for air, and jumped nearly a foot in surprise.
“Come to me. Right now.”
Killian moved quickly to stand by Caitlin, who, the sub noticed, had a worn brown leather strap in her hand, its handle carved with Celtic knots.
Caitlin pulled the smaller woman into a powerful one armed embrace. Killian melted into her, needily.
“Who do you belong to?” Caitlin whispered.
“Only you, Caitlin. For all time.”
Caitlin’s mouth descended, locking with Killian’s, in an eternal sensual embrace that would be played out lifetime after lifetime, throughout the centuries.
Finally, when they both felt sated, Caitlin released Killian.
“Lass, it’s time for me to release ya from what’s been killin’ ya.” Caitlin said plainly.
Killian nodded. She was at peace, finally, knowing this was coming. She opened herself fully to Caitlin, body and soul.
“Come here by the fire, and bend over this thick-stuffed chair.”
Killian followed, and obeyed.
Caitlin arranged Killian’s top so it stuck into the top of the belt, exposing her entire lower half to the sensual fire-light. The incredible beauty of her young filly was not lost on her. Caitlin saved her smile however, for this was a somber evening. The warrior firmly placed a hand at the small of Killian’s back, more for reassurance than anything else. She knew Killian needed to feel her there with her throughout, and there she would be. Caitlin even took the added step of making sure Killian had contact with her thigh. An almost unheard of position for any “real” Domme, for it was too comforting to the subject. Caitlin smiled. She quite liked not being a regular anything. Most especially, a Domme.
Caitlin reached around to the front of a face down Killian. She gently grabbed a bunch of hair and pulled up. She placed the strap in front of Killian.
“Kiss it.”
Killian smiled. She loved the ritual of Caitlin. This Celtic strap was an heirloom from the Trader’s family, and she was honored to have it used on her now. She reverently kissed it.
Caitlin pulled the strap back, releasing Killian to her fate.
Thus began the most intense ritual whipping Killian would receive to date. Again and again the powerful arm rose and fell on already much abused flesh.
And still Caitlin continued.
Killian stayed stoic and silent through the redness and on into the striping.
And still Caitlin continued.
With the welting came the loosening of Killian’s vocal cords. She murmured at first. Then the murmurs turned into cries, and the cries finally into a heartbreaking wail. A lament poured forth out of Killian that had been held steady, inside its’ rocky prison since forever. A cry howled forth, so frightening in its ferocity that it may have felled a lesser woman.
And still Caitlin continued.
Caitlin’s arm hung heavy with the intense rise and fall of the strap. She watched carefully as the welts filled the back and legs of her lover. No blood. Caitlin never drew blood unless intending to, and she most definitely didn’t intend to on this wondrous woman. Not ever. She would bring her close though, so she took stock of the Amazon beneath her with careful eyes.
Killian’s body rocked with her howling. She arched like swan as she released ancient shame, and heart crushing ache. Only another Shamaness would understand the words Killian uttered, for she herself didn’t know what they were. Dalton had taken something from Killian in Denmark. Some part of her humanity as she gave herself to save Aria. Everyone saw it, but no one cared to ask. Killian was in this alone. Nessa may have seen had she been here, but she took to the Mountains upon their return from Denmark and never returned. No one even noticed that, how could they notice Killian’s pain?
Caitlin finally did the only thing she knew how to do, and Killian allowed it to free her, at least for now. The Healer let the last of it go in a ferocious scream and dropped, completely limp.
Caitlin stopped immediately, laying the strap on the couch and returning to pick Killian up in her arms. The warrior sat in the chair, gingerly placing Killian in her lap, allowing her to lay against her body.
“Shh. It’s over. I’ve got you.”
“Is there nut bread?”
Caitlin chuckled as she pulled the Healer to her. “Now, lass, would I be any kind of lover if I forgot the nut bread?”
Now it was Killian’s turn to chuckle. She held Caitlin’s face, softly, looking deeply into her eyes, “I can always count on you, Trader. You come through every time.”
Caitlin placed her hand over Killian’s. “Ditto on that, my Healer. Ditto.”
“Now, I’m gonna lay you here on the couch, where you have orders to simply relax, while I go and rustle us up the most spectacular dinner you’ve ever eaten at the top of a mountain.” Caitlin picked Killian up, crossed to the couch. She lowered her to a comfortable resting place. She covered her with a soft bearskin, and just as she suspected, her Lady was asleep before her head hit the pillow.
____****____
(The Final Journey) --
The morning was crisp and clear. Killian never felt more alive and exuberant. She was sore in places she didn’t know she had on her body, and not strictly from the punishment either. The lovemaking between she and her soulmate was as wondrous as any they ever enjoyed. Killian was, at last, a free woman, and the joy of that loosened her inhibitions further than she ever allowed them before. The healer smiled as she followed Caitlin down the trail. A new life lay before her. A life free from the guilt and shame she carried since Caitlin’s capture nearly five years hence. Much happened to her in that time. Many friends come and gone from her life. Many storms weathered. In the time of Caitlin’s loss, Killian became sobered about the realities of life. Her general sense of wonder had been shattered, and replaced with a darker realism about the undercurrent of humanity.
Killian fought valiantly to remain the optimist that she inherently was through her many trials. What she succeeded in doing was creating a false front of optimism, while her soul bled slowly. Caitlin was Killian’s world, and a world without her caused Killian more pain than anyone would see. Until Nessa. The Druid seemed to sense her loneliness, and heartache from the beginning. While the rest of the Clan enjoyed the pitter pat of their playful little sub, Nessa, at the urging of Tris, saw the unvarnished truth. Killian was trapped in deep despair. Invisible to all, even her best friend, Aria, who always saw Killian’s softer side, and worshipped the giving lass for the listener, and friend she was. Killian didn’t even know herself how despairing she was, until Nessa “The Ungentle” took her in her arms, in a boat, on lake Tristaine, and allowed her to be actually seen for the woman she was for the first time since Caitlin went missing. Killian always put up a front of whimsy mixed with a fiery Welsh temper. No one in the Lodge besides Nessa and Tris ever really saw through that, to the tender, broken woman inside, who held onto life by a thread.
It wasn’t until Caitlin’s return that the inner turmoil she’d been bearing so quietly began to slip through the jovial subbie veneer. Caitlin was found, through Killian’s growing psychic awareness. It was that same psychic awareness now that made it impossible for Killian to continue with this double life. She was too vulnerable to not show her pain anymore. She was too raw to not display her frayed nerves for the whole Lodge to witness, and respond to. Killian was growing and changing rapidly, and as with legislation, and sausage, the process is best left unseen. Killian believed she was home though, and she could no more lie about her evolving self than she could deny the very deep chasm in her soul left by Caitlin’s absence. Perhaps it was the very safety in Caitlin’s return that pushed Killian to the brink of madness. Perhaps it was other figures within the Lodge. It matters not, any longer, for the damage was done, and the wheels set in motion.
Killian trotted along, deep in thought. Caitlin’s desire came as a shock to her. However, on reflection the plan was masterful in it’s loving inspiration. “Did you know you were in far deeper pain than I could exorcise?” Caitlin asked, the previous night?
Killian thought, answering honestly, “No.”
“Well,” Said a hopeful Caitlin, “Now you do. I think I know what to do about it, but it’s going to involve a huge risk from you. Do you think you’re up for it?” Caitlin could see the sparkle was returning to Killian’s eyes, after months of unhappiness.
“With you by my side, Trader, I can do anything.”
“We may be sent off in another direction, you know.” Caitlin said softly, knowing the heaviness of that statement.
“Yes, Caitlin, the Great Mother is as unpredictable as she is wise. I trust in her healing abilities. I know that I am not healed, and I can’t return to the Lodge in this condition. There will only be more strife surrounding me, until things can be seen from a different perspective, on all sides. I can’t bring the Great Mother there, and I can’t make any of them go to her, so as much as it hurts to say, I must do this without the only family I have known since your loss.” Killian began to cry.
Caitlin put her arm around her lover’s shoulder, and pulled the quilt closer around them as they sat on the couch, staring into their last fire in this beautiful mountainside retreat.
“At least there will be a garden for Aria when she comes up with Sirius, soon I hope.” Killian smiled at the thought of her best friend standing in the garden Killian created, for her.
“I chopped enough wood to last for a season should the dark one want to keep her here for a while.” Caitlin smiled ruefully as Killian poked her stomach.
“Maybe they’ll even let dagger use it from time to time.” Killian smiled, thinking of the duke in the wild, alone.
“It’s well stocked, lass. She would do fine here. She might even enjoy the solitude. Perhaps Klancy can look in on her.”
“I kind of like the idea of Lady Alison and picifico having a private retreat. Who knows, maybe Aria will bequeath it to the whole Lodge. It has the most beautiful view of Mt. Tristaine in the morning.” Killian snuggled closer into Caitlin now, knowing this was the right decision.
They sat in silence for a long time listening to the low crackle of the oak and pine, and watching the swirl of the fire as it rose up towards the night sky.
“Try not to think of it as me taking you away from your family, Killian, but rather, taking you to your new life, one where you will be healed, and fully accepted as the woman you are. My woman. My wife to be.” Caitlin got down on one knee in front of the couch and turned to Killian.
Killian sat up, startled by the turn of events. She melted as she looked into the only eyes she ever loved.
“Killian, my Lady. Will you marry me, and be with me for all time?” Caitlin held Killian’s hands softly, kissing them tenderly.
Killian was struck dumb, speechless. She often dreamed of being joined to the one who owned her heart, but believed it wasn’t in the Trader to want. Boy, was she wrong.
Shaking significantly, she spoke, “Yes, Caitlin. I will marry you, and be with you for all time.”
The lover’s came together in an eternal kiss of connection, and bonding the likes of which few see in any lifetime.
~~~
As Killian trailed behind her lover of many a lifetime, she mused, ‘all things must one day come to an end, yet in truth, all things are eternal. All life, all love, and all friendship. Once we have become friends, that bond can never be taken away. It may dim, but no one can take away the memory of a life well shared.’
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The End - 'Making of a Lady' - by Caitlin