Kindred Spirit Lodge Presents
Demons
by Killian & Nessa
March 30th~April 7th, 2002
____****____
(Killian) --
Saturday morning, too early for Killian to be awake. Too early. She has not got her full faculties together. No, she has not. This can lead to trouble. Ah, you say, dear reader, trouble. This follows Killian {with a big K you will notice, thank you} like a lovesick puppy.
Well, though it may be true, what is one to do, if you are Killian? You can't live in a hole; hoping trouble will tire of you, and go looking for easier prey. {Say twilight, for instance} Can you? I ask, and answer, with an emphatic, NO. If you are Killian, you will live life the only way you know how. With a big heart, and if kitty, the witty, is correct {and I am NOT saying she is} then, apparently Killian has a big mouth too. At least a "chattery" mouth. NOT that there is anything wrong with that, mind you. Anyway, I digress.
Killian "the caring” has decided, on this day, on THIS spring day, she will not wait for trouble to find her. Nay, she will hunt it down, and claim it as her own.
The setting:
Courtyard of the Kindred Spirit Lodge. Killian {our heroine} is fully dressed for riding. Encased in leather, from head to toe. Brown leather boots, up to the knee. Leather chaps, snuggling tightly over heavy cotton pants, made by our one and only Tris. Leather vest, tied at the waist, over cobalt blue billowing sleeved silk shirt, tucked in to trousers. Tan leather jacket, worn down to the knee, cut up the sides, to sit pretty on a saddle.
And a pretty saddle Killian was presently sitting upon, Argo's saddle, to be exact. Argo's saddle, because Killian was sitting on Argo. Killian knew better than to be sitting on Argo, and knew better than to do what she was about to do. But Killian was not in her right mind. Demons had seized her sleep, and were traumatizing her. She needed Caitlin so bad she could taste it. But she didn't have Caitlin.
So, here she sat, note wrapped around a stone, ready to seal her fate.
She threw it. The stone crashed through Xena and Gabrielle's window.
**********
Killian turned, and rode hard, out of the Courtyard, down the path by the water.
Sleepy eyes spied the rock, and the window. Bare feet took a moment to be shod, before heading to he window. Nothing could be seen, but dust.........rising up in tiny spirals, little tornadoes of trouble.
Xena held the rock in her hand as she wiped her eyes. It was too early to be awake…too early.
"What is going on?" Said a very weary Gabrielle, who had not very long ago, fallen into a deep sleep, after wearing her warrior out with her new game: Who claims whom. She was Tired, with a big T.
Xena read the note aloud.
"I have Argo Also, I have let all the other horses out, and into the large fenced field. Good luck catching them. And me. Please give my best wishes to Gabrielle. Good Morning Warrior. Signed, Killian."
"Whoa," Said Gabrielle, in uncharacteristic understatement.
Xena dropped the rock, and walked, with scowl, to where her clothes sat.
"Caitlin, You SO owe me."
____****____
(killian) --
Argo loved Killian. She was the one with apples and carrots and sweet treats any time she came by. The Mare knew Xena loved her too, because the warrior always had that "indulgent look" on her face whenever the lass dropped in a grooming session.
It was odd then, but not altogether out of the norm for Killian to be sitting astride Argo presently, galloping pell mell for anywhere but here. Argo had not heard the "return to me" whistle from the warrior, so as far as she knew, all was right with the world.
Killian, on the other hand, knew all was not right, and had an ache inside only one person could fill. If the person was gone, then so be it. Killian felt that she might as well be gone too. The lass still was not thinking clearly. She wanted something. Obviously, she wanted some pain, cause she was most certainly going to get it when Xena found her. And she knew Xena would. Taking Argo, of all things, set that into stone.
Killian's keening began quietly enough, bubbling up from deep inside her. The cry became louder and louder, until it became a deafening wail from a grieving solitary soul in the world. Killian rode hard as tears streams down her cheeks, and aching, wrenching cries, tore out from her deepest soul.
"CAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN."
And still, she rode on.
____****____
(Nessa) --
Xena ran to the window and screamed through the broken glass as she watched Killian riding Argo into the distance at a breakneck speed."KILLIAN!" Her blue eyes flashed when she saw all the other horses streaming from the corral, Nessa running behind in futility as they scattered. Xena could barely breath from the rage she felt.
Gabrielle came up beside her and stood back as quickly when she saw Xena's face. She knew her Warrior. This look was not a good sign for the young Killian. Xena was already halfway across the huge room on her way to the door before Gabrielle could speak. "Xena, wait! Calm down before you go storming!"
The dark woman stood still in her tracks and pivoted to face her lover. She held her voice to a near shriek. "Calm Down!? Calm Down!? Gabrielle.... this is Argo!!!!"
"And this is Killian too!" Gabrielle got through. She watched the glaze fade from those stark blue eyes with the realization that this was not an enemy. Nor was it a true theft. Xena trusted Killian with Argo above all others besides Gabrielle.
Xena took a long breath and lowered her voice. "Of course it is Killian too. What in the name of Artemis is she thinking Gabrielle?"
Sometimes the bard thought her Warrior was blinded by a black and white viewpoint of things. Gabrielle spoke calmly. "I am not so sure she is thinking at all my love." Her voice soothed. " This looks to me like pure down in the gut, hard driving feeling. Killian is mad with grief Xena." She stood closer now, more sure of her calming effect on her Warrior. Looking up she gazed upon the face she loved more than any other. "Caitlin, Xena. Killian is feeling that loss. Imagine if I were lost. How would you react... how have you reacted?"
Xena had to smile down at the beautiful woman. She remembered going all the way to the land of the dead just to be with her lost love. "Alright Brie, I won't string her up by her feet and beat her to a bloody pulp and leave her swinging. But she did take Argo... she did loose the herd to the open fields and she broke the window to get my attention." Her voice rose in anger.
"Then give her attention Xena." Gabrielle countered.
"I will find her and bring her back. I will give her the licking she needs and maybe do it twice. She cannot just strike out at others no matter how badly she hurts."
Gabrielle knew she had done all she could to ease the punishment Killian would now have to suffer. She felt Xena's arms pull her in. The kiss nearly shook her from reality as it often did. She stood silent as Xena pulled away and ran out of the chambers.
Gabrielle felt more than sorrow for the whipping Killian would get. She understood the intense pain the girl suffered daily. She sent up a silent prayer to Artemis in petition for Caitlin to be found dead or to show up. Either way... the pain had to end.
____****____
(Killian) --
The night was unusually quiet. The birds stopped chirping hours ago, yet the night noises of possum, wolf, and crickets had not filled the void. Maybe it was the sobbing. Nature has a way of honoring grief, with silence. Killian didn't know if she was supposed to feel gratitude for this, or disdain. Presently, she felt nothing… a deep agonizing pit of nothing, the void of Caitlin.
Maybe it wasn't nothing, but in fact, everything, crammed into her little head. Heart. Every breath, every sound she ever made; that gruff, "I am too tough for leather," laugh of hers. Her scent. Killian had a shirt from Caitlin. A nightshirt. It was too big for her. Caitlin loved to see her in it though. Threatened to spank Killian's butt for stealing her clothes. Did, often, too. The shirt was Killian's way of letting Caitlin have her, until she could really have her… something she often did.
Gods, will this every end, Killian thought, as she heaved some more into the bushes, shedding more tears then she figured one small body was good for. "Caitlin, if you hear me, you better get Xena here soon. I am not sure how much more of this I can take. I so need what she is gonna do to me. Make me feel. Make me feel, you." Killian cried out again, wracked with sobs, convulsing in her too big sleep shirt.
Then, just as the wave came, it left, leaving her crumpled on the bedroll, tucked into a fetal position. "Your smell is gone, Caitlin. I can't remember what you smell like." She reached for Argo's saddle, which she had been using as a pillow. "Sweat, leather, that jasmine soap you like. Who knew you were such a girl." Killian laughed. "And those hair braids. I still say they are cute. Deal with it, warrior, you can't touch me now."
Silence.
Killian heard the first footfalls coming in from the east. Then two sets, from the west. Her heart started racing, bounding out of her chest, and nearly obscuring her ability to sense them. Her hands gripped her staff, like the experienced fighter she was. Athena's Ass, she bellowed to herself, as she heard three more sets of drunken boot falls heading for her. Hades, Xena really will kill me if I lose Argo to these Morons. Think. Oh, crap, why am I so good at handling a horse. And why did I let those others free in the pasture. Shut up Killian, think.
Suddenly, a piercing cry shot through the air on Angel's wings. And the fight was on.
____****____
(Xena (Nessa) --
Getting a good horse was not a problem. The Lodge Kindred gathered some good stock from their battles with Tantalas. Nessa had a fine stallion saddled by the time Xena got to the corral. It was one that chose to stay close after the herd was set loose.
Nessa pulled him in quickly, knowing that Xena would be in a wee bit of a rush to have a good horse. She held the bridle in a strong grasp as Xena came running up, mounted and smiled at the Celt in gratitude. Nessa spoke, "His name is Kane... it means warrior. He'll serve ye well Xena."
The mounted warrior gave Nessa the fist to heart salute then spurred Kane to the chase. The steed was no disappointment. Within only a few minutes, Xena made it to the tree line where Killian disappeared from sight shortly before. Once inside the forest, it was easy enough to track the distraught wench. Clearly, Killian was not trying to hide her trail. Bits of broken branch and clean hoof prints marked the pattern Argo weaved through the trees.
Xena followed until dusk. She reined Kane to a standstill and listened through the trees. There was movement ahead. She stood straight up on the saddle and lifted her magnificent body onto a sturdy branch. Kane held his place while Xena bounded from branch to branch, tree to tree until she came to rest at the edge of a small clearing. There was Argo. Her saddle was off and she looked as if she was just brushed. 'I suppose I should be grateful that the brat is at least taking care of my Argo.' she thought.
Xena waited. Killian came into the clearing. She had been gathering wood. Xena decided to hold back. She found her quarry. There was no reason to rush now. She wanted to watch Killian. She wasn't sure why. It was just one of those directives spoken from within her. She always listened to that voice.
***********
It paid off. Xena got a dose of understanding in the next couple of hours that she never quite got before. She watched her little friend wail and wretch. She heard her talking to the missing Caitlin, Xena's friend and Killian's life. Yes, her life. Caitlin was everything to the girl. 'How could you leave her like this Caitlin?' Her own tears ran hot down her face from the pain she felt for Killian's loss.
The warrior's thoughts were interrupted. They were not alone anymore. It was too dark to see much but Xena's senses were keen. She Counted eight by the sound of the clumsy footfalls. She saw Killian grab her staff and stand ready. A smile graced Xena's beautiful face. The Warrior Princess was about to kick some ass.
That war cry was the beginning of the sorry end of those drunken ruffians. Xena triple somersaulted into the middle of the clearing, landing at the side of a grateful little wench. She looked down at the big brown doe eyes and smirked. "Let's party!"
Together, Xena and Killian drop kicked, right crossed, head butted, knee kicked and staff blasted the would be marauders into a scattered unconscious mess. When the last man dropped, Xena walked to where Killian stood. She opened her arms, inviting her young charge inside. Killian came gratefully.
"You wield a mean staff spitfire." Xena whispered into soft blond hair as she held Killian close. They stood like that for a few minutes, and then Xena pulled back and held Killian by her upper arms. She looked hard into her eyes. "You took my horse, you broke my window and you scattered the herd. You will get a whipping for it Killian. I understand that is what you need. We'll start back first thing in the morning. You can think about it on the way."
____****____
(Killian) --
"Xena." Killian began, as she looked mournfully down at her hands, arranged delicately on her lap. She bit the inside of her lip.
"Yes, Killian." Xena was seated on a boulder, across from Killian's bedroll, rhythmically sharpening her sword. The tall warrior knew Killian wanted a spanking right now, her face showed her emotions, and guilt, so beautifully. Xena knew she wanted, needed more, as well, But she also knew she couldn't give them. Not tonight. Killian had to have her grief, without distraction. Xena owed that to her little friend.
"I...I...” tears started to flow, unchecked.
"Killian, come here." Xena put down her sword, and watched as Killian shakily stood, in her Caitlin sleep shirt. The warrior had to work to keep her own passions in check.
"Come, sit on my lap." Killian just stood, looking incredulously at the warrior.
Xena pulled Killian onto her lap, and tucked her in close. She put her lips close to Killian's ear, while she began to rock her.
"I am not going to punish you tonight, Killian. I know you would rather have that, tell me about Caitlin. But you are going to tell me why you did what you did this morning, and you are not going to stop telling me, until it is all out of you. Do you hear me?"
Killian started crying convulsively at the word, Caitlin. She clung to the warrior as her ache came raging to the surface.
"I just miss her. I need her, Xena. Where is she? I feel like I would know if she was dead. I know I would feel her. But I just feel this pit. This hole in my heart."
Xena rocked Killian, "I know, lass. I think you would feel her too. Your bond is deep."
"You think so too? So I am not insane. I have not been able to get her out of my heart. I am not sure I ever will. If she is alive, how does she find me? What happened to her? Where could she have been for three years? Does she still want me? What if she just went on without me?”
"She would not do that, lass, and you know it. I think she is somewhere far away. I think she must have been captured, and taken somewhere. If she gets free, she will find you. She is as good a tracker as I have ever seen. Besides, you are not exactly hidden. I could find you today, if I was blind, and had no arms."
This made Killian laugh.
"You won't spank me?"
"Listen, lass. I am sorely tempted believe me. It is taking all of my considerable warrior discipline to keep from spanking your ass off, and ravishing you all night. But that is not what I am here for."
"Really?"
"Really."
"Hmm."
They were quiet for a while, as Xena continued to rock her young friend. Somewhere, the warrior began to hum softly.
Killian put her head on Xena's shoulder, and finally let herself go. She was asleep in a matter of moments.
The warrior held Killian long into the night. She would take her home, tomorrow, and punish her soundly, but privately, in her quarters, with just Gabrielle present. But for now, she was this girl's Warrior. She knew that is what Caitlin would want from her, this night… to watch over her love.
And so she would.
____****____
(Killian) --
The sun rose to crest just above the Tristaine Mountain peak. Dew clung to the feet of the riders, as they made their way out of the forest, and into the open plains that lead to Kindred Lodge Land.
Killian sat tenderly in her seat as they rode. She rose this morning unable to contain herself. She was grouchy from the beginning, this turned to surly, when the warrior told her to watch herself.
"From what? You obviously don't care what I do, so why don't you just shut up and let me cook this gods-forsaken breakf- - Ungh."
Xena grabbed hold of the lass about her waist and pulled her to the nearest boulder. Sitting down, the warrior slid up Killian's sleep shirt, to reveal a creamy white, untouched bottom, just right for a serious warming.
"Ok, Killian. I get it. You haven't the self-control to behave yourself until we get back to the Lodge. I hear you, and I am going to take control over of you, starting right now."
With that, a hard hand came down to connect with the tender flesh, eliciting a scream, and some earnest squirming.
"Xena, I-"
Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack!
"The only words I want to hear out of you now are, "Yes, Xena. And Yes, Xena, Please."
"Xena, I"
"Wrong answer."
Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack!
"Xena, I am sorry. I didn't mean too...." Killian's backside burned hot, as she fought not to wiggle herself off of Xena's lap.
"Killian, You are obviously, NOT listening." The warrior's hand came down harder than Killian remembered it could. Her attempts at composure vanished.
SMACK. SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
Killian was wailing now, all composure gone. Xena paused briefly in her onslaught, giving room for the magic words... They did not come.
The spanking that followed was merciless, yet not cruel. Killian cried, and wailed, and screamed, but did not beg, nor say the magic words. The warrior realized as she kept up her relentless, powerful right hand spanking, that Killian had more grief inside of her then what one simple whipping, back at the Lodge would handle. And so on she continued.
SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, AND SMACK.
Finally, a squeak. "Xena."
It was small, but enough to get the warriors attention.
"Yes, little one. Have you had enough?"
"Yes, Please, Xena."
Xena curled her lip slightly as Killian spoke the magic words. ‘So simple,’ the warrior thought to herself, yet so impossible, at times.
*********
Xena stood Killian up, and pulled her into her arms. Killian clung to her, sobbing deeply, as if her life depended on it. Sobbing turned to retching. Xena held the girls hair off of her face, and mopped her brow, as she heaved her pain into the bushes.
It took some time, but the retching eased, returned by crying. Xena didn't even bother to get Killian out of Caitlin's sleep shirt. She merely cleaned up camp the best she could, made Killian rinse out her mouth, and drink deeply. Xena knew that this much retching caused serious dehydration, so she would ply her charge with drink every few minutes on the ride home.
Xena saddled both horses, but used the spare stallion more as a packhorse right now, knowing she would put Killian up with her.
Killian, for her part, lay in a ball curled up, on a blanket, waiting for Xena to summon her. The spanking comforted her, yet it re-ignited her intense grief. She figured, rightly so, that she was in a long stretch of grieving, and would be feeling it even deeper when Xena handed down her 'real' whipping, back at the Lodge.
"Let's go, Killian. Give me your hand." The warrior picked her friend up and set her into Argo's saddle, then swung herself up behind.
"Ok, lass, you just lean into me. I've got you. Hear me?"
"Yes, Xena. I hear you. Thank you. Um.... For everything." Tears flowed freely again as Killian clung to Xena's arm.
"I've got you, lass. We have a lot more to go through today, you and I. I promise you; I will be there for you the whole way. Do you hear me, Killian.”?
"Yes, Xena. I hear you, and I am grateful. For everything."
And so they rode. Xena holding her young charge on her saddle, like precious cargo, knowing, if the tables were turned, Caitlin would be here for Gabrielle just the same.
Xena was going to have to put out another search for the warrior. Maybe she had been able to get some kind of word out of where she was being held. If needed, Xena herself would go get that damn Warrior. Killian couldn't take much more of this.
____****____
(Xena) --
Xena stayed right with Killian from the time they dismounted, handing Argo and Kane over to Nessa, to the moment they stood inside the huge chambers that Xena shared with Gabrielle.
Killian was acutely aware of the Warrior on her heels as she walked through the dining hall. Several Lodgers looked from what they were doing to notice the two dusty travelers. They all knew what happened the day before. They figured the little spitfire was in for it. Some knew that there was more to it than a fit of temper and a chase through the woods. These were grateful that Xena was here for Killian. Still no one envied the young wench at this moment.
Gabrielle sat at the desk poring over some scrolls when the door opened. She stood at the sight of the dear Killian and her own glorious Warrior. Killian looked sheepish, ashamed and a tad bit scared. The bard opened her arms in welcome. Killian needed no prodding. She ran into those strong nurturing arms breaking into heaving sobs against Gabrielle's gorgeous breasts.
Xena stood watching for a moment, then walked to the closet. Reaching just inside, she pulled a long belt from its place on the wall. She strolled back to where the two women stood, doubling the strap as she went. She looked into her lover's eyes. They were asking the warrior to be merciful with Caitlin's darling. Xena could not even muster a smile at this point. This was necessary but it would not be pleasurable. "Killian it is time. Go stand by the large chair at the fireplace." her rich voice filled the room.
Killian tightened her hold on Gabrielle. The bard spoke the warrior's name in a kind of pleading, "Xena?"
"No Gabrielle! This has to be done and Killian knows it. Do it Killian!"
*********
Killian obeyed quickly. She was quiet now. She felt resolve in knowing that the whipping she would get from Xena was sanctioned by Caitlin somehow. She was most aware of the healing that would come from it. Killian so wanted to heal. The pain of Caitlin's absence was far from over... never would be over. But this would serve to break it up a bit she thought... she hoped. Her heart spilled over with the ache.
Xena was grateful that she would not have a fight on her hands. She thought she might have to give Gabrielle a lesson in acceptance a bit later. Hot pleasure shot to her center at the prospect. But now the focus was on Killian. "Gabrielle, help Killian out of her britches. You will hold her over that chair while I whip her ass." Xena watched for the slightest indication of resistance from her bard.
Gabrielle knew better than to argue or disobey. It was clear that Xena was set on this. The bard understood that Xena had good reason. She stood in front of Killian and unfastened her britches. Killian was very compliant even though her eyes showed trepidation for the coming sting of the belt.
Gabrielle pushed the britches down over the sub's pretty ass. She walked behind and pulled the pants down to ankles quickly. She noticed that red bottom. Clearly, Xena already spanked the girl soundly. Gabrielle said nothing. She came back around to face Killian, taking the girl's wrists in her hands. She pulled Killian over the back of the chair and held her firmly.
The sight was delicious. Xena had to remind herself that this was not playtime. She shook off desire and lifted the belt in the air. "I will whip you as Caitlin would have me do it Killian. Hold tight." The belt sang through the air.
Gabrielle watched Killian's sweet face change with the pain of the whipping. Xena was relentless. The belt smacked and stung over and over. Killian cried loud. She screamed and pleaded for the whipping to end. Xena was steady and did not stop until Killian's pretty round ass was welted to perfection.
When Xena stopped that merciless stinging belt from flying she told Gabrielle to move away and allow Killian to lie in place for a few minutes. She went to the moaning girl and pulled her up. Xena lifted Killian up in her arms and carried her to the big bed. "You will sleep here tonight Killian." She looked at Gabrielle. "Brie, we will hold her between us tonight. We will be here to ward off her demons."
____****____
(Conclusion - by Killian) --
Killian cried as she was tucked into the warmth of Xena and Gabrielle's bed. Her body ached to be gratified, but she knew that was not going to happen. Not this night. This was about her Demons, and her need for Caitlin. Killian felt her Warrior in the room, and holding her, even as Gabrielle, and Xena took up positions on either side of her.
Xena spooned her as Gabrielle held her close. Tears of release accompanied anguished cries, as grief filled the room. The whipping had touched Killian deeply, for she knew it was exactly as Caitlin would have it. The comfort Killian took in the fact that Xena and Gabrielle were themselves close to Caitlin, was immeasurable.
Candlemarks passed as Killian sobbed and shook in the arms of her friends. Caitlin would really owe them, Killian thought, when the Warrior was finally found. Perhaps it was getting time for a search party, again. Having grief, so strong and deep, made Killian think the Warrior had to be alive, and somewhere near. The grief stricken sub knew her Kindred well enough to know that they would not tolerate one of their own in this kind of suffering for long, and would most likely form a search party with, or without her consent.
But that was for tomorrow. Tonight Killian would take solace in the center of Xena and Gabrielle, and allow her grief free reign.
Killian felt Caitlin in the magic of that night. A calm and peace found her that had alluded her for the longest while. Tears were replaced by gratitude, for Gaia blessing her with Caitlin in the first place. Warmth, and love flowed deep in the young subs veins, waking in her the light that she was known for possessing in great quantities. She held fast to Xena and Gabrielle, as her heart filled with joy and needed solace.
Finally, as dawn crested upon the horizon, Killian slept.
____****____
The End - 'Demons' - by Killian, Nessa, & Xena!