Kindred Spirit Lodge Presents
Caitlin
by Killian & Nessa
October 25th~December 3rd, 2002
Parts 13~~Conclusion
____****____
Caitlin stood in silence while the attention went to Killian. She felt little hairs rise on the back of her neck. She sensed someone or something. It was as if a hurricane touched her, full of noise and random force. She turned her head and cast her eyes up to the helm where they met and locked onto Nessa the Celt.
For a tense moment Nessa merely looked at the handsome warrior standing with Killian in the crowd of Kindred. So this was Caitlin, strong and built like an athlete in the Grecian games. Nessa broke the gaze and turned to see Shasa standing beside her. She barely smiled into those green eyes and asked, “Glad to be heading off the shore of this strange land lass?”
“I’m glad the first part of this thing is over, but I’m not so sure I’m even ready for what’s next.” Shasa said seriously. She watched Nessa’s face. It took on a hardness that the sailor didn’t like at all. “Ness, you’re holding this stuff in. Let’s go to your cabin and have a hot Earl Grey.” She said with a lightness she didn’t feel. Shasa reached for Nessa’s hand but barely felt it before it was pulled away.
For all the days since this whole thing started, Nessa worked madly to avoid thoughts of Killian wrapped in intimacy with Caitlin. Now that the rescue was done, she could think of nothing else. Visions of Killian’s beautiful body pinned beneath Caitlin in a frenzy of hot throbbing passion, tortured the Celt. The dull ache that accompanied every move and every thought up to now became sharp. The Celtic lord forgot all she learned from Killian’s soft tutoring. All the self reflection, all the twisting of perception to see a better way, shattered inside her, forgotten.
Nessa looked down into Shasa’s sensitive eyes. There was love there but Nessa couldn’t see it. What she saw was a pretty lass who would scream and struggle, who would take the belt, who would crawl across the floor and present herself wide open if the Celt demanded it. Beautiful she was to the Celt, so beautiful. Nessa let her thoughts run riot. “You go on to my cabin, lass. I’ll be right along” Nessa was hungry for her.
Shasa understood that Nessa was in a lust haze of violence and pain. The sailor knew Nessa could kill her with no more than a wish to see her die. The Celt had done it to others in that mysterious Druid style. Still, Shasa walked in that careless, straight-backed, unstoppable way of hers, directly to Nessa’s cabin. She decided to risk it. Besides, the danger thrilled her darkly.
Inside the small cabin, Shasa waited for her warrior for only a few minutes. She turned up the wick in the lantern that stood on the table, giving a soft glow to the room. She heard the door open behind her. But before she could turn she heard Nessa’s low growl. “Stay slut. Don’t move!”
Shasa’s back stiffened with the chill in her spine. Leather swished out of belt loops behind her. She swallowed down the urge to turn and drop-kick the big warrior. The last time she tried that, she ended up nursing her entire welted body for days. She simply said. “Yes milord.” Then, instead of the expected strike of the belt, she felt strong arms surround her and twist her entirely around to face the feral glare.
Nessa wanted to beat this fucking little bitch. She felt rage that the impudent slut did not resist her. “Yes milord?” she rasped, incredulous. She lifted a hand high to slap this little slut senseless. Shasa did not cower.
The tactic worked on Nessa like a light shining into the darkness of her being. Her pain, her terror, her shame, her weaknesses… all were illuminated by the brave love of her friend. Shasa was offering herself to the stricken warrior without reservation. Nessa stepped back, she dropped to the bed, put her head down and covered her face with her hands.
“She is gone, Shasa”
“Not gone… just different than before. She will always love you as I have always loved you.” Shasa stood close and pulled the hands from Nessa’s tear streaked face. She undressed before the gray eyed lord in silence. She helped the warrior out of leather and silk.
That night, Shasa held the weeping Celt in her arms, rocking with her in her misery, easing her toward healing. They made love in the glorious ways they always did. Love deepened between them. Nessa knew by morning that she would make it through another day.
____****____
Killian sat on the bed, breathing for what seemed like the first time in days. Her Caitlin was found. She was not only found, but rescued nearly intact. Nearly. Killian rubbed the back of her neck as she sensed the toll this captivity took on her warrior. The sage knew what to do, knew instinctively how to ease her long lost partners grief.
She laid out the belt. This was one of Caitlin’s belts that Killian had kept with her. She would not let anything go that was her warriors, for she always felt she would find her.
Killian played with the soft leather. Caitlin was not one to carry much gear, yet she felt having two belts was important. Killian smiled as she remembered the day she picked this belt out herself, in a bazaar not far from the Amazon lands they had left one moon prior.
“Caitlin, come feel this.” Killian was beside herself with enthusiasm for the new life she and Caitlin were leading. Killian had no memory of anything prior to the burning of her village. The Amazon lands were the only life she had ever known. The Bazaar was ten times the size of anything she had seen at an Amazon festival. Filled with rich hues, and assorted collectables.
Killian smoothed the soft leather in her hands. “Caitlin, have you ever felt something this soft in your life?” The young Amazon put the belt into Caitlin’s palm, whispering conspiratorially, “It is so sexy, Caitlin. Can we please get it?” She buried her head into the trader’s neck, and nuzzled there, embarrassed by her admission.
Caitlin had yet to deny her Killian anything. She hadn’t asked for much in their time together, but what she did request was always indulgently granted. Caitlin took the belt, and eyed the merchant who was hovering. She gave him a look, causing him to flinch, and then retreat, to the rear of his tent. She then focused everything on the burrowing Killian.
“Let’s see,” she purred into Killian’s ear, as she stroked her hair with her free hand. “I must say this is a fine piece of leather Killian.” She leaned in close to Killian; “I think I could find one or two uses for this. What do you think, lass?”
Killian’s knees nearly buckled as she felt the soft breath of her warrior. The tall trader’s sultry voice belied her stern external stance. Killian loved how she could do both at the same time. It intoxicated her.
“Yes”, Killian breathed huskily, “I think we can make use of it”.
~~~~
Killian looked at the belt again. She knew the touch would not be a soft one this day. Caitlin had been hurt inside. She was going to need something much different from Killian on this day, and perhaps indefinitely. The wrath with which her warrior had dispatched the pit guards showed the state this woman was in. Killian closed her eyes.
~~~~
The day started inside a curtain of thick fog. Cold, damp. No one in the camp could make out anyone around them. Had the enemy infiltrated their surroundings in the night, no one would have been the wiser. The only good news was that the enemy had to live in this cursed mist as well. The battle this day would be fought at close quarters. No one may know the outcome until long after the last person was left standing.
Killian brought Caitlin a cup of steaming cider. The trader had put up all of their pelts for safe keeping, just in case the enemy encampment broke through their lines. It was habit really that made Caitlin take special care of her pelts. She had honored the animals who had given their lives, and she would be damned to allow these insurgents to have their way with anything that belonged to her.
Caitlin looked up from her sharpening stone. The look in her eye made Killian flinch. She stood for a long heartbeat, staring into the eyes of smoldering rage. This was the third day of fighting, and Caitlin showed the wear. Killian knew what was needed after three winters of living with the warrior. She set down the cup and turned. Caitlin stood, slipping her sword into its scabbard, and followed Killian out of the encampment.
The barn wasn’t much more then a glorified hut. The animals that had inhabited the space had long been slaughtered as food for the small band of warriors.
Killian expertly lit the torch with the stones Caitlin made her keep on her person at all times. The lass winced at the memory of a severe spanking she had endured for leaving the stones behind in a past village. She clenched inside as she made her way to the bales of hay stacked neatly along the far wall.
The air was still cold, and each woman could see the other's breath circling in clouds around their heads.
Killian stopped and turned. The slap dropped her to the ground. Caitlin was on her yanking her up by the hair. She did not cry out. The second slap split her lip. This time she was knocked over a large bale.
Killian heard the knife slip out of the sheath. She felt the cool blade as it was laid against her cheek.
“Strip now, or I will slit them wear they hang.”
Killian was grateful the warrior remembered she had no change of clothing. She stripped as quickly as she ever had. As she bent to lay back across the prickly bale, Caitlin grabbed her by the hair, yanking her back hard.
The kiss was deep and claiming. Blood trickled from her spilt lip as Caitlin crushed her mouth onto Killian’s, seemingly needing to climb inside her skin, through her mouth. Killian simply allowed it, giving all she could to her hazed lover.
The warrior kept up the forceful kiss as she swept her cape off from her shoulders, draping it over the bale. She pulled Killian away from her and shoved her down onto the bale.
“I’ll not have you marked by anything but me, lass. Put your arms above your head and keep them there.” Killian did as she was told.
Caitlin kicked Killian’s legs apart. “Keep them there.” Killian didn’t have to answer; she simply obeyed.
The belt came swiftly. Killian barely heard it leaving her warriors britches before it was raining down on her, hard and fast.
The beating was punishing. Killian did her best to not cry out, but finally gave in, screaming into her hand, so as not to alert anyone of what was happening between them.
Caitlin dropped the belt and grabbed Killian up, claiming her mouth once again. The warrior shoved two fingers deep inside.
“Who do you belong to, lass?” She seethed into Killian’s ear.
“You, Caitlin. I belong to only you.”
“What will I do if somebody were to touch you?” The fucking grew more intense.
Killian swallowed. “You will kill them, Caitlin.”
“That’s right.” Caitlin raised her thumb, wiping some of the blood from Killian’s chin, and taking it into her mouth. The warrior shoved Killian back over the bales.
She didn’t bother to open her trousers. She simply rode Killian’s ass where she stood. The warrior was legendary for her orgasms, and she didn’t disappoint now. Again and again she rose and fell onto Killian, the lass taking everything she could give.
A powerful thumb kept up a pace on the Amazon’s clit, pulling Killian further then she had ever gone before.
Finally, when Killian was sure her legs would cease to hold her up, Caitlin gave her final cry of release. She stood up, pulling Killian gently to her.
“Thank you, Killian.”
This time the kiss was slow and soft.
“Get dressed. I need you to stay here and keep the children safe. You know that , lass.”
Killian nodded as she dressed. “I will do as you need Caitlin. You just come back to me. You hear?’
Caitlin broke her first smile of the fortnight.
“Always.”
~~~~
Killian broke free from her memory, coming back to the present. She looked up from the belt in her lap to see two piercing blue eyes boring down on her from the cabin doorway.
____****____
She was so beautiful, so changed and so the same all at once. Killian. For three long years, whenever Caitlin had a clear thought, it was always of Killian. The way she turned her head and looked up into her lover’s eyes, the way she giggled under her breath whenever her warrior tried to show off and botched it, the way she bent her strong body for the spanking she needed… Caitlin’s center tightened.
Caitlin spent a large part of the evening topside. The clan who called themselves Kindred Spirits and who risked their lives to save her, deserved some time to ask questions and to tell stories with her. The warrior knew she owed them more than they asked for. She spoke as best she could about her time in captivity. She listened and learned about the Lodge in the mountains where they found refuge and companionship.
She did not see the one they called Nessa, though her name was mentioned more than once. That one fought like a demon at the bloody battle in the compound. She killed for Caitlin’s escape. Yet when all was clear and safe aboard the Clipper, this Nessa gave her only a look that could freeze her blood and vanished. Caitlin listened to stories of the Celtic lord and more often than not, her Killian was woven into the tale.
Suspicion and rage burned hidden in Caitlin. Her Killian was whoring with the Celt while she strained against the mind-rotting bader root and fought pigs to live for three years. Reason lost a foothold in slippery jealousy. Caitlin’s mind had shut down in so many places, just for the sake of survival, she had no avenues of rational thought open to her. She said goodnight to the Kindred and made her way to the cabin and Killian.
Killian’s thoughts of that time long ago rattled her so that when she saw Caitlin standing in the doorway, she jumped. Caitlin was looking straight at her, her glance level and dark. The taller woman, ducked to get her whole body into the small cabin. She closed the door behind her and spoke. “Three years is a long time to go without a fuck. But then you wouldn’t know that would you Killian? You didn’t go that long.”
It was the way Caitlin said the awful combination of words that sent a tingly shock through Killian, a vibration that centered somewhere just beneath her heart. “Caitlin, what are you talking about?”
The warrior was in front of Killian in an instant. She back-handed the love of her life in a rage. The blow lifted the girl off her feet and backward. She fell onto the bed. Caitlin was on top of her, pressing her heavily to the bed, holding her wrists above her. “You and that Nessa!” she spat. “I’ll show you who you belong to.”
Killian realized immediately that Caitlin was ill, somehow affected by her horrid experience. It was as if she had no container for the blazing fury that must have built up in her over three years of torture. “I belong to you Caitlin. You are all that has mattered for these years. You don’t know how I ached and prayed and fought to keep you alive when others shook their heads in pity for a pathetic lass who lost her lover.” Killian sobbed. Her cheek was swelling where Caitlin struck her.
“Not good enough!” Caitlin screamed. She lost what little hold she had on control. She tore at Killian’s clothes, slapping and yelling as she ripped the fabric. “You’ll fucking wish you never laid eyes on that Celt!” She raised up and pulled the now naked Killian to her feet, only to throw her down on the floor. The Caitlin that Killian knew was gone, pressing to the edges of sanity.
Killian lay on the floor stunned. She saw the booted foot coming in time to move her head and took the vicious kick in her right shoulder. She tried to scramble to her feet but the space was to small. Caitlin knocked her down again. She felt blood streaming down her face where it broke open when she hit the floor the first time. She nearly passed out just as the door to the cabin splintered. She saw her friend, Nessa bursting in. She saw a wrath in the Celt that matched Caitlin’s. She saw Nessa fly at her lover and then she blacked out.
____****____
Nessa was already aware of something being very wrong, even before Aria came pounding on her door. The feeling hit her gut and lifted her up from a deep sleep. She was fully dressed when she opened the door to a frantic Aria. “Ness, hurry… she’s beating Killy… I can’t get the fucking door open!” Nessa needed nothing further. She bolted passed the Lady toward Killian’s cabin.
Captain Klancy heard the ruckus and emerged from her quarters ready for action. She dropped in behind the running Celt. Thoughts jostled inside her as she moved. She noticed something about Caitlin that was not quite alright. It was the unbridled fury in the woman. It had no boundaries. Even when the battle at the compound was clearly over and the enemy was helpless to stop them, Caitlin continued to slaughter the injured. Klancy hoped at the time, that Caitlin was simply overcome by a rage that would wane. She saved a small thought that it was possibly not temporary, but lived inside the warrior, as part of her.
Nessa reached the cabin door and flew into it without pause of motion. Tossing splintered wood off her arms and head she spied Killian on the floor. The blood on the lass’s head and face was telling enough. The Celtic warrior bared her teeth and snarled with deadly menace. She sprang at Caitlin, releasing the beast she normally held in check. But it was too easy. Caitlin was not a warrior who would ever allow another to pummel her as Nessa did without raising a hand to stop it.
Caitlin left herself open to every blow the Celt threw. Nessa grabbed her by the front of her shirt and pushed her hard against the wall where a pair of hanging swords clattered with the impact. When Klancy saw that Caitlin made no move for the swords, but stood battered and silent on the edge of the room like a broken animal, she yelled at Nessa, “Stand down warrior!”
Nessa’s fist stopped in the air, her eyes ablaze with hatred. She heard the command and held still in confusion. She tore her gaze from Caitlin and pinned it on Klancy. The desire to kill Caitlin was naked on her face. Klancy spoke evenly. “It is over, friend. Stop now. We were on time.” Nessa looked back at Caitlin. Killian’s lover was clearly defeated. The Celt returned to sane reality and took a breath. She and Klancy stood on either side of Caitlin, each grasping an arm. They all looked to the floor where Aria knelt over her best friend.
The beautiful assassin wiped the blood from Killian’s face. She turned to the doorway where Kindred had gathered to witness the action. “Please take Killy to my cabin. I will be able to care for her there” she said to no one in particular. Aria stood quietly while Alison and Kit gently carried her Killian from the wrecked room.
Aria turned then and looked at the now subdued Caitlin standing between Klancy and Nessa. What she saw was a fierce warrior who had already withstood more than most of the best ever could. Caitlin had shown herself to be murderous in her revenge… she was deadly. But instead of a reasonable fear, Aria felt an icy anger. Her hands clenched and unclenched fitfully.
Aria walked steadily up to face Caitlin. “She thought you were a dream and you became her nightmare.” Aria had an edge to her voice. Suddenly she drew a leg back behind her and swung it up to power kick Caitlin in the solar plexus. Both Klancy and Nessa stood passively for this. They brought the doubled up warrior back up to her feet to catch another smashing blow from Aria’s fist. Turning on a heel and without another word, Aria left the room to care for Killian.
Klancy and Nessa escorted the beaten warrior to the brig where they left her locked in and weeping like a child. They stood together in silence for a time, watching the expanse of water from the side of the Clipper. Both of them were stunned at this turn of events. Nessa finally spoke. “What could have happened to her, Klancy?”
“I don’t know but I am sure it is because of what she has been through. We cannot expect that she would suddenly just be the same woman that Killian knew three years ago.” Klancy shook her head.
“I don’t have an idea on what to do. This baffles me” Nessa said.
Then a small, soft voice reached Nessa saying, “But it is not beyond you, Druid.” Nessa turned to see jan the fae standing almost beside her. The faery was wrapped in a cloak, held together at the neck with a clasp of fine silver. She looked as if she belonged to the mists and the magic of the ancients.
Nessa peered closely. Jan was in trance. “Tell us what you can Lady. We are here to hear you.”
Luminescent glow came off the faery there on the deck of the Clipper under the bright full moon. She spoke with a voice that seemed to come from all around them. “The warrior, Caitlin has become lost and confused from nearly constant suppression of her awareness. Her reasoning is warped at times. She has had to survive in ways you could not know.”
“What can we do then? Is she beyond any help?”
“No, Druid. There is but one way. You are a walker between worlds. You can open the veil and take her through to the land of faery. There is where the magic of our people will serve her.”
“How Lady?”
“She will forget. She will go back to who she was before the roads in her mind grew over with drug bramble and stagnation.” Jan the fae blinked. “You know the way, brave walker, but you struggle with your own jealousy. You must deal with that first.” She turned and twinkled out of sight.
____****____
Easing quietly down the ladder to the brig was painful labor to Killian’s battered body. The rungs were so far apart, she had to stretch to reach them. But she waited the whole day to come to Caitlin. Aria was a wonderful nurse and a far better friend than any Killian ever had before, but she was stubborn about allowing Killian the freedom to see the one who hurt her Killy so badly. It seemed like forever before the beautiful Lady Aria relaxed her vigilance and went to sleep. Killian had to ease out of bed, get dressed in the dark and slip out like a little thief.
The dim lantern hanging over the cell, barely gave enough light for Killian to see the figure inside. But she heard the sound of weeping. “Caitlin?” She whispered. The figure quieted and moved from the other end of the cell, coming slowly into a shaded view. Killian stepped back a little. She wasn’t sure if this was the Caitlin she knew or the one who raged so viciously on her the night before. A hand that Killian knew at one time to be loving and strong; a hand always raised for her and never against her until the night before, reached out toward her through the bars of the cell.
Killian risked the touch of that hand after a moment. Her own tiny hand rested in Caitlin’s. She allowed the warrior to pull her close enough to press slightly against the bars of the cell; close enough to look again into each other’s faces. Each was shocked at the grotesque bruises and swelling on the face of the other. Killian stood motionless but Caitlin pulled away. “Killian, what have I done?”
But Caitlin knew well that answer. She suddenly wanted the mind-numbing bader root to take her away from that agonizing truth. She felt like she was diving into some dark space where she could hide. Killian saw the change and began her own inner searching for something to soothe the unease that crept up into her.
Caitlin did not look at Killian. Her eyes were distant and shrouded, as if their focus had turned entirely inward. “Caitlin” Killian caught a sob in her throat. “Don’t leave me again!” But the warrior was not there. Her beautiful body remained seemingly empty and slumped at the back edge of the cell. Sadness washed over Killian. She felt a loss, new and cutting. But she jumped at a sound just beside her. It was Jan the fae.
Deep, soft eyes smiled at Killian. “All is not lost, Psychic. Your warrior will return to you, after some time spent in my land. There, Caitlin will find herself again and be free of the sounds of battles and the burden of days and nights piled upon each other endlessly, without hope.” Jan could feel Killian’s unspoken doubt. “You know Nessa is a walker between the worlds. You were there together on a mission once before.”
Killian did remember. They went to return the Sacred Stone to the Mother of the Oaks. Nessa was wounded and could not move from her bed. She somehow lifted her spirit from her body and traveled with Killian to the Faery realm. Killian’s memory was clear:
Killian sat astride the big warhorse as if she was alone. But she knew she was riding with Nessa. Tuttle knew too. The Kindred who came with them rode in silence through the forest. There was something so awesome about this place. Tuttle stopped at the guarding maple that stood just outside the ring of oaks. She closed her eyes and heard the whispering tree. She didn't know she could hear trees... or maybe it was just this one. But it was as clear as any chime she ever heard. "Leave the horse and friends, child, enter alone. You and the shaman spirit are the only walkers between the worlds in this forest." Killian dismounted. She turned to Klancy as if to tell her but Klancy only nodded a silent understanding and said. "We'll be waiting here for ye lass."
Killian stepped forward into the circle of oaks. She turned once to see a rising mist hiding Klancy's form from her sight. When she turned back she took in a breath and held it. Nessa stood before her smiling. Small people... even smaller than her, were tittering all around. They looked so free and pleasant. Nessa smiled down at her. "Ye did it lass. Ye passed through the veil as if ye had been doing it all your life." A large hand reached for hers but swiped right through it. "Oh, I'm not all here." Killian could have appreciated the humor if she didn't know that Nessa's beloved body lay poisoned and near death.
Killian brightened. The magic of that land was just what they needed. She looked at Jan. “How will we get to the entrance… Nessa…” She swallowed. “Nessa hates Caitlin.”
“No Psychic. You must talk to her. She will come around by the time we reach the shore. She already knows the inner battle she must fight.”
Killian took a deep breath and flashed her eyes back to Caitlin’s rocking and vacant body. “Caitlin, my love. We are not finished… do you hear? We are not finished!” The woman who could open the veil and find the avenue to the land of the Faery. Climbed the ladder out of the brig with a new sense of purpose. She walked straight and steady to Nessa’s cabin.
____****____
Nessa opened the door to gaze down on the battered face of the woman she loved more than life. She winced at the awful swelling around Killian’s eye. Opening the door, she gave the bruised lass wide entrance into her small cabin. Killian had not spoken to her since that early morning in Persia when the Celt got rough with her and kissed her in a wild haze of desperation. Why would she want to see her now? Nessa braced herself for an onslaught of angry accusations. Instead, she watched while Killian dropped into the one chair in the room, put her hands up to cover her face, and broke into heaving sobs.
The Celt knew Killian well. She knew, for instance, that this was not a lass who cried that easily. She had been very strong through this whole thing. She had purpose and focus. Nessa guessed that now that the rescue was done and the one they rescued was not what any of them expected, that perhaps Killian suffered some anti climactic disappointment to say the least. Perhaps Nessa, too was a disappointment to the lass. Nessa had been pondering on her friendship with Killian since her last encounter with the Faery. Her own jealousy of the woman Killian always loved and whom Nessa knew Killian always loved, prevented her from being the best friend she could be to the lass.
Killian quieted after a few minutes. Nessa moved to her side with a handkerchief and held it down to the lass. Killian took the linen and looked up at the Celt. Nessa was held unmoving, by those grieving dark eyes. The lass said “I know you hate me now Nessa, but I need to ask one last thing of you.” Nessa was stricken mute. Killian continued. “I am sure you won’t want to help me now but I appeal to the shaman… the spiritual healer in you. Caitlin would never hurt me like this, Nessa. She was so twisted and broken by what those beasts did to her, she didn’t even know what she was doing.”
Killian heard herself and realized that she was saying something that many women who are beaten by the ones who claim to love them say. It sounded like she was attempting to excuse Caitlin’s behavior. She did, in fact, feel desperate. She rose from the chair looking into Nessa’s grey eyes. “I suppose you want nothing to do with either of us now. But I want you to know that when Caitlin saw me this morning, her mind collapsed. She is sitting in that brig, rocking back and forth and staring into nothing like a lunatic. Please think about helping me… us. If you don’t, I will go by myself to the Mother of the Oaks. But I love you and I need you and your help.”
Killian gifted the Celt with a smile of melancholy warmth and turned for the door. Nessa forced her stunned mind into motion. “Wait now, lass… I’ll not have ye going into that forest without me. I know how you love Caitlin and I know you couldn’t love her if she commonly abused you. She lived through more than either of us could know, I am not surprised that she lost herself. Of course I’ll help ye, lass. Did you say you love me?” Nessa stepped close. “Is that what I heard, Killian? You don’t hate me for hurting ye back there in Persia?”
It was Killian’s turn to be surprised. “Hate you? Nessa, no. I have to have you in my life. You are my best friend. That won’t change… don’t you know that?”
Nessa swallowed back the tears that threatened to expose her softness. She reached for Killian and pulled the sweet sore body to her. They stood wrapped together in a union of friendship built over time and love. Each of them felt the solid love between them. Finally, Nessa pulled away and said, “You best go prepare for the journey back up the mountain, lass. We’ll be pulling into port soon and Caitlin will have to be in the land of the fae before the next sunset.” She felt like her broken heart was pumping again. She understood that she couldn’t bear to lose her friend under any circumstances. She was determined to behave herself… for Killian.
Within a few days, the Clitoris Clipper pulled into port. The Kindred crew stepped to the shore of their beloved homeland. The feeling was bittersweet. They left to rescue the legendary Caitlin and even though successful, the Caitlin they brought back was less than a legendary figure, slumping and subdued in blank silence. The journey was yet to be over. On the road to the Lodge, Klancy and Nessa talked about the upcoming trek to the sacred forest with Jan the fae while Killian stood watch over her soul-wounded warrior and Aria stood watch over Killian.
____****____
A party of five broke off from the Kindred who were on the trail to the Lodge. The journey was all but over for most of the travelers. They would be home before dark, each savoring a well cooked meal and a longed for bed. The five who headed for the forest had no idea when they would be home. For them, a new mission had formulated with the realization that Caitlin still needed saving on a level where no sword could do the job.
Nessa knew she had to be the one to ask favor from the Mother of the Oaks. As Druid and as Walker Between the Worlds, it was she alone who could bring any outsider through the veil. Jan, of course, was the only member of the party who could stay in the realm of the Faery for any period of time. She would watch out for Caitlin while the realm forces dealt with the warrior’s near broken mind. She would know when Caitlin was ready to return to her own world. Killian would not stay behind for any reason and Aria would not leave Killian.
Aria was still furious that Killian attempted to sneak away from her to visit the brig and the one who beat her. She was standing outside the brig when Killian emerged. The scolding Aria gave was tempered by understanding the depth of love Killian had for this insane warrior. She would not allow such an event to happen again. She had a dagger and knew just how to slice a jugular from ten feet away. She was well acquainted with danger. She spent much of her time teasing and taunting it, and more of that time… being it.
Killian rode beside Aria, watching the broad shoulders of her warrior sway with the motion of her mount. There was an unfamiliar slump in those shoulders. She prayed to Artemis that this venture into the mystic was the remedy to restore her lost warrior’s being. She longed to look upon a whole Caitlin once more.
The psychic force that ruled much of who Killian was, kept her well informed of what was happening in the hearts and minds of her friends. She knew that Aria had no faith in this attempt at curing Caitlin of the soul malady that rendered her murderous. Aria would kill Caitlin the instant she showed one sign of aggression. Killian also understood that Nessa was doing this for her and that while the Celt was a Druid, she was also a warrior in love. Caitlin’s restoration would mean loss of all hope for a lover relationship between Nessa and Killian. She thought that she and Jan were the only ones who really had belief in what they were doing.
Nessa held Jan on the saddle in front of her. The Celt tried to disregard the warmth and softness of the faery in this closeness. The fae had a lavender scent to her hair, a favorite of Nessa’s. The Halfling turned as far as she could to look in Nessa’s eyes. She was as aware of the heat between them but thought this might be something to pursue at another time. “And may I ask milord, have you handled the feelings of hatred you have for Caitlin?” The question felt like it dropped from the sky.
“Uh… well, I never did really hate… I mean…” Nessa was unprepared… something she disliked to be at any time. She looked sternly at the sweetling and said, “I’ll thank you to keep your judgments to yourself lass. Anyway, it is… was jealousy, not hatred.”
“But it is not a judgment. It is a point of great importance.”
“ What difference does it make? We are going to the other side and Caitlin will get her healing.” Nessa looked up and away from the lass.
“The difference it will make is in you and how you will be with everyone who loves you from now on. You will always be bitter and anger will shadow every encounter.” Jan sensed that this was the last she would say on the subject, at least for now. She felt Nessa’s hand wrapping around her chin and forcing her to turn back around to face forward. The Celt leaned down and whispered hotly in her ear. “If you want anger to shadow my next encounter with you little Faery, you’ll keep up this line of talk.” Jan held her tongue as any wise young faery would do.
The small girl leaned back into the Dark Butch's embrace, and sighed quietly. If her sensitive Lord had the need to express anger, or frustration, she would offer herself again and again. Painful as it might be physically, it would be easier to handle than witnessing her beloved Druid's turmoil and anguish.
Whether the Warrior would accept her form of support was another matter all together. The faery kept her tongue still, but her mind and emotions raced, she had to consciously force a relaxed posture and fight the trembling that seemed a natural state for her whenever Lord Nessa's attention was focused on her.
Although Nessa wasn't pleased with her line of questioning, jan hoped the Druid realized that anything she'd said was understood as concern ... Not judgment, and some things had to be addressed whether the big Celt liked it or not.
It wasn't only Caitlin's state of mind...state of being, that mattered now.
The faery glanced at Killian, she smiled tenderly. She could feel Killy's fear that Aria and Nessa might not accept Caitlin even after Her recovery. She wanted to talk to her worried friend, to reassure the strong and gentle woman that it would all work out for the best...
As they approached the entrance to her world, she could only nod to Killy, and pray silently for all of these precious souls that she held so dear in her heart.
"Their devotion to one another is so strong, let that be the common thread to heal them all from the suffering that has been inflicted upon them through their lives in this world. Blessed Be."
~~~~~~
The Kindred group entered the forest and wound around thick clusters of brambles and narrow passageways. At last, the party arrived at the Guardian Maple. Killian heard the rustling whisper. “Who wishes to pass child?”
“We are a party in need of council, Guardian. May we enter between the worlds for audience with the Mother?” Killian spoke back through an avenue of her mind.
“You are the seer who brought us our Sacred Stone. The walker is with you. You may pass.”
Killian opened her eyes to see Aria watching her intently. She blinked and said softly, “We are welcome.” With that, she swung down from her mare and told Caitlin to dismount. The warrior did so as if she were a three-year old following her mother’s direction. Killian took the hand of her warrior and held up her other hand when Aria stiffened. She turned and lead the troop of Kindred to the center of the Circle of Oaks.
____****____
The five women stood motionless before the large oak. Nessa drew in a breath. She gazed deliberately from woman to woman. Gray eyes stopped and held on Caitlin. Nessa thought of the statue of Cassandra, the mad oracle of Troy. That statue had the same vacant stare as this warrior. The Celt didn’t want to let on, but Jan’s question rattled her. The Faery’s words burned and yet healed her as if cauterizing her inner wounds. It still hurt but Nessa could see now that Caitlin was innocent. Now, here in this sacred place she could not continue the malice.
Raising her strong arms slowly, the Druid lifted the veil between the world of humans and the realm of Faery. All five women stood still while light and shadow changed ever so slightly around them. Then they saw small figures emerging from around the large trunk of the giant oak tree. Several of the Faeries recognized Jan and surrounded her with a chatter that seemed like confused gibberish to all but Jan and Nessa the Druid.
Suddenly the air seemed to ripple bringing a wave of sheer power flooding over them all. Nessa jerked to attention when the Mother of the Oaks took shape within the trunk of the tree before them. Aria blinked as if that might erase the vision but the Mother remained in sight. The Faeries fawning over Jan were quiet now. The spirit in the tree spoke. “What favor do you ask Druid?” The voice entered the human hearts as rapture.
Nessa turned and curled a hand around Caitlin’s wrist and led her forward. “We have returned from a long journey from across the sea. We rescued this warrior from the grip of slavery, but her internment there was long and her experience has sickened her mind.”
Again the voice of the spirit chimed. “Why this warrior?”
Killian stepped forward and dropped down on a knee, bowing her head. “Please Mother, this warrior is kindred and holds my heart.”
A smile came to the beautiful face in the tree. It had a life of it’s own. It rang through each of the visitors as a soothing balm. Then to Killian, “You are the psychic who returned our sacred stone to us. I believe we must honor your request child. Your warrior may stay.” Killian leaped to her feet in joy. “Thank you sacred One” she squeaked.
“You are welcome child. But you cannot stay. The effects that will cure the malady of your warrior will not serve you. Who will mentor this warrior?”
“I will” All eyes turned to Jan. She was clearly not the twinkling, blinking little sprite she sometimes appeared to be. She was regal here in her own realm. She had station and was not taken lightly. Jan was the only one of them that could possibly stay here for any length of time without losing track of who she was or where she came from. She looked at Nessa and nodded.
The Druid warrior bowed low toward the tree and inhaled another blissful smile from the Mother of the Oaks before she dissolved back into solid tree trunk. Then Nessa took Killian’s hand in one of her own and Aria’s hand in the other and led them through the veil to wait on the other side.
Aria was glad to see her friend so happy. But she still had little faith that this trip through faery land would cure the brute inside the warrior. It would take more than that for the assassin to believe or forgive. She flashed a look at Nessa. The big Celt looked defeated somehow. She was always the star of the show for Killian. Aria wondered how well the proud lord would handle the smaller place in Killian’s heart.
The three crossed through the veil and stood quietly wrapped in their own thoughts for no more than ten minutes when they turned to see Jan the Fae. Jan was not alone. There beside her stood the beautiful and magnificent Caitlin. Eyes were deep blue and bright. Her manner was confident. Her shoulders lost that slump. She was looking at Killian with expression that came straight from her heart.
Killian’s own breath caught in her throat. She flew into her warrior’s waiting arms. They held each other for a long time before they could stand apart. Finally Caitlin drew away and looked solidly into Nessa’s grey eyes. She felt only gratitude for this warrior who loved her Killian enough to help them find each other again. “Thank you” she whispered. She held out a hand slowly and waited for Nessa to grasp her arm in warrior salute. The Celt was stunned at the difference in this Caitlin. She looked down at Killian’s beautiful eyes and knew how she must respond. Nessa put her hand out and the two grasped each other’s arms in friendship.
Killian’s heart soared while Aria’s heart sank. She had been fooled too many times by bright smiles covering a dark heart. She would not be so fast in her acceptance of this charming warrior.
____****____
Darkness came down on the small band of Kindred before they could get out of the forest. They decided to make camp and start out for the Lodge at early light. Killian supposed that she and Caitlin could wait for their first night of real lovemaking when they were in her room and had time alone. Aria could not have felt better. She wanted a little more time to study this warrior before she allowed Killian to give herself over for the gods knew what kind of treatment.
After the fire was blazing nicely and the horses were fed, the group sat on logs eating dried venison and biscuits, watching each other in awkward silence. After all they had come through, it seemed there was nothing to say. Jan knew that Nessa could as easily bolt into the dark forest as sit here in discomfort while Killian leaned into Caitlin all night. She also felt the crackling distrust from Lady Aria. Finally, Caitlin broke the silence. She looked around at the faces of the women and said, “How did you know to be outside the veil? I mean how did you know when I would be coming through?”
Aria’s brow lifted. “How do we know you’re not as crazy now as you were before you went in there?” she shot the question. “How could ten minutes possibly undo the damage of three years of torture?”
“Ten minutes?” Caitlin smiled. “Surely you are joking Lady. I have been living with the Faery folk for at least a year… I think” She looked over at Jan and then back at the astonished Aria.
“Now I know your brain is loose.”
Aria started to stand, reaching for the dagger in her boot as she moved. Nessa saw and grabbed the assassin’s arm pulling her back down to sit. “Wait, Aria! The time behind the veil is very different than it is here. Caitlin speaks the truth as she knows it.”
“Ness, you are as gone as she is… “ Aria started but heard the faery shout before she could finish. “No my Lady! Nessa speaks the truth. I was with Cat-leen throughout her time in my realm. She has undergone an erasure of much of her memory of the past three years and therefore reversed the damage to her reason. She has no rage.”
Aria sat still and peered into Caitlin’s incredibly sculptured face. Indeed, she wore a peace there. “Alright warrior, tell us what happened in that year you spent with the faery folk.”
Caitlin smiled fondly at the Gaelic pronunciation of her name. She looked into the fire and began. “ I remember waking up while walking with some of the little people. Jan was there. I asked her where we were and when she told me, I didn’t want to believe it. I fought hard against thinking that I could ever hurt Killian. I went into self hatred for a time, brooding and ignoring the people who brought me food and drink. Jan never went far from my side. It seemed that days ran into each other as I rested. I felt lighter and lighter as time passed. All I could think of was Killian asleep back at our camp. I knew she would be waiting for nuts and berries.”
“Then, Jan told me that I must pass through a series of exercises so that I could be ready for seeing Killian again. I did not know why I couldn’t just go get her and bring her to where I was but I believed the faeries and trusted them. I never even questioned.” Caitlin looked wistfully into the fire, it’s light flickering and dancing on her face.
“What exercises Caitlin?” Nessa asked.
“I was to find and kill three dragons. The first was the dragon of hate. I tracked it and found it in a cave. It roared so loudly I could not bear to go into that cave at first. But other things were enticing me. There was treasure and fine clothes, but when that didn’t work to tempt me, a vision of Killian appeared. I ran toward it right into the lair of the dragon of hate. The precious vision of my love disappeared along with the treasure. They were replaced by a stench of rot so unbelievable, I was nearly sick. This dragon had every intention of consuming me. I gathered all my strength and willed my self to throw my sword clean between the eyes of the fearsome thing.”
Aria stiffened, thinking she already had a few bouts with that particular dragon. She said nothing but waited for Caitlin to continue. Nessa listened with the ears of the shaman. She smiled with understanding and appreciation for the “exercises.” Looking up, her gray eyes caught the sparkling beauty of Jan who stayed quiet and allowed Caitlin the telling of the tale.
Caitlin swallowed water from a wineskin and continued. “I wandered for months searching for the second dragon, known as the dragon of rage. Finally as I was climbing a craggy Cliffside, I lifted myself over a ledge right into a dragons nest. It was the nest of the one I searched for. It was large and strewn with small tree limbs. In the middle was a cluster of giant eggs. No sooner did I recognize where I was when a large shadow covered the nest. I looked up to see a dragon spewing fire into the air and looking down on me with fury. Immediately I ran to the eggs before that tongue of fire could reach me. I ran behind the biggest of them. I knew that no matter how mad this dragon mother was, she would not choose to cook her own babies.
She circled and circled but she could neither strike nor spew her flame. She perched on the edge of the nest at last and went to sleep. With all my strength I rolled one of those eggs to the edge of the nest while she slept. I drew my sword and leaped high on the back of the dragon of rage. With one swoop of my sword I severed one webbed wing. She awoke screaming her fury. I jumped down and gave a powerful kick to that egg and watched it topple from the nest. The mother dragon panicked and dove to save her young. But alas, she could not fly with one wing and plunged clumsily to her death on the rocks below. At last, I succeeded in slaying the dragon of rage.”
Killian was amazed at the tale. She smiled appreciatively and asked for the story of the third dragon. “Which dragon was the last one to kill, Caitlin?”
The warrior smiled down at her own beautiful lass and said. “Twas the dragon of jealousy, my love.” She looked up at Nessa now and continued. “ I made it back to the plains where I knew the dragon of jealousy lived. I walked for many weeks until I finally came upon a small mountain of things… all kinds of things. There was furniture and clothing. There were wagons and weapons. There were jeweled cups and plates. I believed this to be the hoarding place of the dragon I wanted. I found a rather large mirror in the pile of loot. After securing it to the top of the pile, I waited for the return of the dragon. Not long after this, the dragon appeared. She had more loot for her useless pile. I hid behind a large rock and watched. The instant she came up to the pile, she saw her own image in the mirror. Thinking that this was another dragon attempting to claim what was hers, she flew into a blind fury of jealousy and began a thrashing of all she could see. I took the opportunity to place a quiver in my crossbow. I aimed for her heart and my aim was true. Thus was the end of my exercises and the end of rage hatred and jealousy in my own heart.”
The Lady Aria was still not convinced but she didn’t feel like killing Caitlin for now. For now, she would turn in and get back to the Lodge in the morning. Nessa went for her bedroll as well, leaving Jan and the lovers to wait out the night. Jan blew a kiss to Caitlin and Killian and turned into the forest to do some thinking.
The two lovers held each other, rocking and petting and whispering intimacies that only they could know. Caitlin was home.
____****____
The End - 'Caitlin' - by Killian & Nessa