Kindred Spirit Lodge Presents
The Quest
Conclusion
by Shasa Jin Umi
July 31st 2002~August 24th, 2003
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Nessa looked up to see Shasa enter the stable, smiling as if she didn’t have a care in the world. Her brow raised in curiosity, as she accepted her travel bag and a cheerful kiss from the sailor. “What are you up to?” The Celt asked with suspicion.
Shasa tied her own satchel to Kirsa’s saddle, before turning back to grin at her friend. “I was just soundly kissed by a bard, and I’m feeling pretty damned good about it!”
Nessa chuckled and secured her bag to Tuttle’s saddle. “Aye, I can see that, lass.”
Shasa strapped her swords and staff to her saddle, placing only a long dagger in her boot. She then watched as Nessa finished her preparations. The moment the warrior had finished, she was assaulted.
The slut leapt into her arms, wrapped long legs around her hips, and kissed her deeply. “Get me out of here, Ness, and promise me that when we stop to make camp for the night, we’ll make every animal in the area, jealous and horny.”
Nessa’s eyes crinkled as she smiled. “If you keep this up, we might not even make it out of the stable, lass.” She swatted Shasa’s ass and set her back on her feet. “Now behave yourself, and let’s go.” Shasa pouted prettily, before leading Kirsa out into the sight of Apollo.
A muffled bark caught her attention, and she turned to see Meika approaching with a small sack in her mouth. Shasa rubbed the lab’s head with affection before taking the bag and opening it. She sniffed and smiled at the kindness of Cyrene, and the sacrifice of Gabrielle. For inside, was the bard’s beloved nutbread.
Shasa smirked at the Celt and held up the gift. “She loves me!”
Nessa snorted as she mounted her steed. “Keep dreaming, lass. It keeps ye young.”
Shasa pulled herself into Kirsa’s saddle, and the unhurried, purposefully nonchalant departure of Amphipolis began. Meika followed closely, hoping for a reward for not eating the package she was asked to deliver to her human. Shasa nibbled on the bread, and intermittently dropped several large hunks—entirely by accident, of course.
The sailor sat tenderly in the saddle, but found her attention was not on her physical discomfort. Instead, her eyes were drawn to the blacksmith’s shop and the crowd of villagers who still chattered in the street. Nessa, however, stared at the darkest corner of the Inn’s porch. Both women met knowing eyes, and nearly indistinguishable nods of understanding.
*****
“Nope.”
“Okay, this is my last guess! Was it Boadicea?”
“No.”
“Damn!”
“You really should learn your history better, lass.” The Celt teased.
“Oh, shut up.” Shasa grumbled.
The Celt was about to regale the sailor with a lecture on showing respect for ones elders, when both a low growl from Meika and the clatter of hooves reached her sensitive ears. She reined Tuttle in, and signaled Shasa to do the same. Nessa lifted herself in the saddle and closed her eyes, cocking her head as she listened.
Shasa prayed silently that the local authorities were not pursuing them, as she was unsure of what the Celt would do to protect her. She relaxed only when she saw Nessa smile and declare that it was two horses coming towards them, not from behind. A moment later she saw a chestnut mare and a black stallion round the bend, and her heart leapt with joy.
The rider of the mare audibly groaned when she saw Shasa, but the disgruntled Amazon was ignored.
The sailor could not take her eyes off of the guard’s companion. His shining, black mane perfectly matched that of the flawless stallion, as did his regal grace. With the exception of a smattering of gray hair, he looked just as he did a decade earlier—standing with her, strong and healthy, on the bow of the Suire.
“Marishta!” Shasa whispered before dismounting stiffly and running to his side. The stallion jerked away from the approaching woman, and Shasa adjusted her movements so as to not startle him further.
Marishta stroked and patted the neck of his steed, soothing words coming from his mouth, as he waited for the cause of the disturbance to make itself known. “Who comes?”
“Someone who has missed you very much, my friend.”
“Shasa!”
“Aye.”
The dark Egyptian swung a long leg over his horse’s neck, and slid down to the ground in front of his former shipmate. Shasa barely waited for his boots to meet the dirt before she threw herself into his arms, and both held tightly to one another as they spoke at once.
Nessa was amazed at the difference in the older sailor. Good food, sleep and grooming were apparently the only ingredients that were needed to transform him into the perfect specimen of masculine beauty. The man she met in Neapolis held little similarity to the man before her now. This man was confident and proud, and took great care in his appearance. From the shine of his long hair to the fit of his clothes, Marishta exuded style and precision. His very presence made Nessa want to stand taller and lift her chin higher.
Suddenly, the warrior realized how hard it must have been for this magnificent man to have lived as a peddler on the streets for all these years. And how hard must it have been for Shasa to see him that way? Nessa smiled as she watched the beaming, animated face of her friend. She’s so happy.
The Amazon, who had pulled up next to Tuttle, interrupted her thoughts. “If she were mine, I’d be teaching her a few lessons in faithfulness.”
Nessa’s eyes narrowed at the words, yet she didn’t take her eyes off of the reunion scene. She crossed her arms and chose her response carefully, so as not to disturb the magic of the occasion. “You’ve got the wrong idea.”
The Amazon guard snorted. “Ah, I get it. Well, if you picked her up in town, you best be careful. Bitch is crazy as well as a tramp.” The featherhead looked the Celt over carefully, and Gods forbid, she had a new thought. “She your whore?”
Nessa’s jaw was clenched as tight as a virgin asshole. She could just kill her quietly and get back to enjoying her day…
“Don’t worry, friend, I’ve nothing against you using a loose cunt for profit…”
Don’t worry?
“…but if she’s yours to sell, I wouldn’t mind taking a turn with her. I’ll pay extra if I can whip her and fuck her ‘til she begs me to stop. I got a grudge to settle with that slut.”
“Ness, sweetheart? Come on, now. Let her go.”
“Who? Shasa?” The blood red vision began to slowly allow contrast, and blurry shapes began to form for the Celt.
“It’s me, Caraid. Do you think you could open your hands for me real quick?”
“Sure.”
The warrior heard desperate gasping and a loud thud. The familiar hands of her sailor stroked her face, and then everything began to come back into focus. Shasa was facing her, nearly sitting in her lap, and they were both astride Tuttle. Marishta stood close by, holding the reins of two horses in his gnarled fingers with a quiet sort of dignity. Confusion clearly dominated Nessa’s features. “What happened?”
To the Celt’s surprise, Shasa began to chuckle. “I believe you defended my honor, love—and you know you do everything to the extreme.”
“You coulda just said no!” A barely audible voice rasped from below.
Nessa looked down to see an Amazon lying in a heap at the feet of her mare, rubbing her throat tenderly. “What the--?” Her words disappeared as the last few moments came rushing back. Hot anger filled her once again, and her muscles surged to action. But Shasa was quick and caught the warrior’s bicep before she could swing off Tuttle’s back.
“Hold on, tiger.”
“Release me, lass.” The warrior seethed.
“Ness, just let it go.”
“I’ll not!”
“Nessa, please?” Green eyes smiled at her with amusement and love. “I think you’ve already made your point.”
“She doesn’t deserve to keep her tongue!”
Shasa stared at the Amazon in mystification. “What did you say to her to rile her so?”
“Called you a slut.” Was the grumbled response.
Shasa’s eyes went wide, and she quickly clapped her hand over her mouth to keep the laughter from escaping. A snicker came from the direction of the Egyptian, but when she glanced at him, he was completely solemn. “A slut? This is all because you called me a slut?”
The Amazon colored in embarrassment and looked away.
“Nessa, is this true?”
The Celt opened her mouth to protest, but closed it just as quickly. Suddenly, speaking the words ‘whore, cunt and slut’ didn’t seem to be…well…inaccurate. And she knew from experience that a good whipping and fucking was something Shasa craved as much as eggs for breakfast. Nessa looked into the amused green depths of her friend, and her belly warmed with affection. She grinned at the sailor and nodded curtly, as she admitted her fault with the single word, “Aye.”
Shasa threw her arms around her lover, and laughter erupted from all present—with the exception of a very baffled Amazon, who backed up slowly as she shook her head and mumbled something about crazy foreigners.
____****____
“What I believe you need was in Therma when the Amazon found me.”
Shasa accepted Marishta’s words without question. “Is that where we’re going?”
“No, lass, that would take too long. Word was sent by messenger, and we should find it waiting for us in Amphipolis.”
Shasa saw Nessa tense slightly at the decision to return to the very place she wished to escape. The slut quickly intervened. “Marishta, we can’t return to the village for awhile…it’s not safe for me.”
Parlea snickered. “Oh, big surprise. Pick another fight with Xena, did ya?”
“Shut up!” Both Shasa and Nessa simultaneously snapped at the featherhead.
The noble Egyptian paused to allow the ladies a chance to smooth their tempers before nodding his understanding. “We needn’t enter the city, Shasa, but the ports on the edge of town. Does that make a difference?”
Nessa nodded assent to her sailor.
Shasa squeezed his arm. “Alright, seoldair…you’re running the show, now. Let’s get mounted up and get this over with.”
“Hold up.”
All heads turned to the Celt.
“Shasa, you’re with me. Marishta, you’ll be riding Kirsa now, and you,” she pointed at the Amazon, “are leaving before your mouth forces someone to accidentally sever certain body parts of yours.” Nessa pulled herself up onto Tuttle’s back as she continued her directives. “Take the stallion to Cyrene’s and tell your Queen that you delivered Marishta to us safely. Got it?”
Marishta accepted Shasa’s assistance in mounting Kirsa, and was settled before the warrior finished speaking. “Excellent decision, Lord Nessa. I’d hate to have severed her fortuitously.”
Three sets of eyes stared at the dark man, who sat serenely in the mare’s saddle, his face expressionless. Not a sound was heard until Shasa snorted, followed closely by Marishta himself losing his composure, and the Celt chuckling at his unexpected wit. “So alike, you two are.”
The Amazon mounted quickly and rode off with the stallion in tow, clearly relieved to get as much distance between her and the odd and unpredictable group she had been forced to endure as penance for disobeying her Queen.
Shasa grasped Nessa’s forearm and was pulled into the Celt’s lap. “Oh, this is much more comfy, thanks hun.”
“My pleasure, lass. Grab Kirsa’s reins and let’s go. You okay, Marishta?”
“Quite well, warrior, thank you.”
Nessa spurred Tuttle with a gentle kick to her sides, and the travelers were once again headed back towards Amphipolis. The older sailor proved to be quite an interesting companion, and the Celt was soon too engrossed in his telling of tales to worry about their destination. Shasa snuggled into the strong arms of her friend, and let the familiar voices of her loved ones lull her to sleep.
“Shasa, we’re here.” Nessa shook her gently. “Wake up sailor.”
Shasa opened sleepy green eyes and looked about. Marishta was already dismounted, and waiting for them to do the same. She cleared her throat, tense with apprehension. “Okay…look out below.” She then slid to the ground and moved to rummage in Kirsa’s saddlebags.
Nessa watched her longtime friend with concern. As soon as the green orbs had taken in the form of the large merchant ships, a veil had fallen over her spirit. The Celt began to wonder if Marishta was truly going to be able to help Shasa say goodbye to her father.
Marishta stood facing the sea, taking in deep gulps of the salty air. When he could no longer hear Shasa rustling behind him, he turned and questioned his friend. “Are you prepared?”
Shasa stood holding her father’s broadsword in one hand, and his crest in the other. As she stood facing the bow of the Suire, her uncertainty was glaringly apparent—to those with vision. Her shaking voice, however, gave the blind man the information that his eyes could not. “I’m ready.”
Her mate reached for her, and gathered her in his strong arms. “You are ready, my friend. It’s time to let him go, and everything else from that nightmare, too.”
Shasa nodded, and turned to Nessa. “So, what now?”
“We’re going to take a short-cut home, Caraid. I’ll take care of settling the horses below deck, I’ll get us a cabin, and you can find me later.” The Celt looked towards Marishta, “Do you want me to get you a cabin too?”
“No thank you, Lord Nessa—I have one already.”
Her brow rose in question, but the only thing the warrior verbalized was, “Very well.” Then, she left the old sea mates to face their memories together.
Shasa was fixated on the wooden form looming so near to her. The merchant ship was a decade older, yet looked exactly the same to her. “Where…how did you ever find her?”
Marishta took Shasa’s arm and began walking towards the dock. He smiled to himself, “I never lost her, Shasa.”
Shasa tore her eyes from the ship to look at her dear friend. “What do you mean?”
“I own her.”
“You own her?”
“Aye, is that so hard to believe?”
Wide green eyes stared as if he’d just said he had a job on the Suire as lookout in the nest.
Marishta chuckled at the prolonged silence. “I have kept an eye on her whereabouts…pardon the pun…until I could purchase her.”
“Why the Hades would you ever want to own that?” She gestured to the boat that she was now only a few steps away from.
Marishta accepted a young sailor’s aide and boarded the vessel ahead of his former first mate. He called over his shoulder to her, “For the same reason that you originally sold her.”
Shasa followed him, her curiosity helping her to ignore where she was. “And what’s that?”
“Memories.”
Shasa laughed out loud. It was simply incredulous. She brushed off the boy that now turned to help her aboard, as she swung casually over the rail. “Memories?”
“You wanted to escape them, and I want to embrace them.”
Anger built quickly within her, and Shasa stopped short, turning on her former mate with venomous lips. “What the fuck do you want to remember and embrace on this gods-be-damned ship? Your torture? Your rape? Your mutilation? Your friends being slaughtered all around you? Your captain being hacked up and scattered around?” Shasa nearly knocked a sailor overboard, as she flailed her arms around and spat her hatred. “What could you possibly want to embrace here?”
Marishta stood quietly until Shasa ceased her ranting. “I choose to remember the good, and I choose to embrace life.”
The tall man carefully walked forward, and rested his gnarled fingers on the bow. He took a deep breath and smiled, then nodded to himself. Turning, he lifted his head high and shouted to his crew, his deep voice resonating strength and certainty, as he ordered them to make final preparations for departure.
Shasa watched him silently, seeing everything, yet her emotions continued to muddy her understanding.
The Captain of the Suire looked at her with empty eyes that saw all. “I was never conquered, Shasa…at least not like you were. Xena broke my body, but she never killed my soul. I had control of that, and I didn’t yield it. But you did. You handed everything you had to the demon of vengeance, and you let that demon control your destiny, and you’ve no one to blame but yourself, Shasa. Xena never even knew you existed.”
The harsh words were truth, and Shasa didn’t run away from them. Instead, she stood dumbly gazing at her friend through a haze of tears. “I know,” she whispered, “I know. I was just scared, and didn’t know what else to do.”
“It’s past now, and needs to stay there. You have to leave all of this pain here, now. Leave it and walk away to your new life, if you wish. Or leave it, and pick up where we left off long ago…and be first mate of the Suire once again. Either way, you must leave the past where it belongs.” Marishta signaled, and the young sailor returned to his side, took his arm, and escorted his Captain safely around the deck of the ship.
Shasa stood watching the pair. The young man obviously serving as Marishta’s eyes, and Marishta himself using his vast experience along with his other senses, to confidently master his domain. What shocked her most was that none of the sailors looked at him as a blind man; they seemed to respect him just as much as her crew once respected her father.
She sighed and walked to feel the worn wood of the bow. It was here that she and Marishta stood together each night, wind blowing their hair, and dreams filling their heads. It seemed so long ago.
She leaned forward and studied the dark swirls of the water far below. She had lost those dreams of her youth, due to circumstance perhaps, but mostly due to fear. Fear that often swirled around her and enveloped her in darkness. Darkness that turned everyone to enemies.
Emerald eyes rose to absorb the beautiful blue of the midday sky. She smiled. But there were those few who had been able to show her that darkness didn’t negate light. That fear didn’t have to cause impotence. That vengeance wasn’t the answer, and that forgiveness healed both the giver and the receiver.
And that letting go of the past didn’t equal indifference.
Shasa pulled the broadsword from its sheath. The shine of the polished metal brought forth a memory of her father’s large fist closing over the hilt, as he sparred with his daughter on this very deck. She smiled as she carefully placed it again in its sheath.
Shasa turned and faced the open water, squinting into the sun. The waters were rough and choppy, and the ex-sailor closed her eyes briefly to take note of her body. Her knees were loose, and together with her thighs, they absorbed the rocking of the ship. The rhythmic pitching lulled her somewhat, and she smiled lazily as she realized she would always be at home on the sea.
“Shasa?”
The sailor turned to see her dearest friend standing close, with a concerned look in her eyes. “Hey, Ness.” Shasa smiled invitingly, and gestured her forward.
The Celt grumbled as she walked carefully to where she was, “This bloody water had best settle down.”
“Or what?” Shasa laughed. “I’m afraid that threats won’t work very well, love.” She sized up the warriors level of discomfort. “You’ll be fine. Just be careful what you eat tonight.”
“Aye. I’m thinking the squid is not the wisest choice.”
The slut hugged her lover tightly and released her with a kiss. “I’m going to need to spend the rest of the day up here, Ness. Just need to think and feel.”
Nessa looked up suddenly. “Set sail!” was being shouted repeatedly, as the order was passed from one sailor to the next. She turned back to Shasa. “I expected as much. I’ve got enough to keep me busy.”
“Thanks…maybe you could get some sleep? You look exhausted.”
“Right. I’ll do that as soon as you get Poseidon to stop showing off.” She winked. “I’ll be below if you have need of me.”
Shasa watched the strong woman walk back across the deck—carefully. She chuckled as she realized that this would probably be the only time she ever saw Nessa look even slightly disadvantaged…and she kind of liked it…
She sighed and watched as they pulled away from shore. Now for the hard part.
She paced. The long shadow she cast against the well-work planks of the deck, did not reveal that her most painful memories currently assaulted her…but her eyes did. Present and past merged and flowed, along with many tears. Grieving and cleansing tears.
Apollo descended further and further in the sky. A smattering of laughter was heard from her lips, as painful memories yielded to more pleasant ones.
As night fell, she sat at the bow and dangled her legs over the side of the ship. In her hands was a large metal disk, her father’s crest. She lovingly ran her hands over the worn surface, whose raised insignia was nearly indiscernible from many years of rubbing.
She smiled as she remembered her Skipper’s final words to her. He spoke of his trust and his confidence in her. He not only gave her his crest, but also his blessing. That memory, she would cherish forever.
“Sgiobair…Father…I have acted dishonorably since your passing…I’ve spent all this time angry and afraid, and I’ve hurt many others…but mostly I hurt myself and wasted years of my life.” Shasa smiled slightly, “But I’m not talking to you right now to wallow in the past. I just wanted to say that I miss you, and I love you.” Her smile widened as her eyes misted. “You were a great dad, and I hope to see you someday on the other side.”
Shasa wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, and then looked once more at the crest that she’d carried with her for 10 years. “But I’ve got to say goodbye for now…I’ve got some living to do.”
The swirling water swallowed the shining disk the instant it hit its
blackness, burying the dead in traditional sailor fashion.
~~~
Nessa looked up from her seat on the floor, when Shasa opened the door. The sailor looked the same, yet different. “Are things well with ye?”
Shasa smiled at the woman she most loved, and knew the answer was finally “yes”.
“’Tis good to see, lass.”
The sailor swung up into a hammock and looked at the skimpy-looking knot keeping her from crashing to the floor. “Marishta owns this ship now, and he offered me first mate.”
Silence.
Shasa glanced over at a very solemn Celt, and then looked away again. Really skimpy knot.
Silence.
“Well?!” Nessa finally bellowed.
Shasa laughed. “I was wondering how many days it’ll take before we get home to the Lodge?”
The sailor turned slut found herself wrapped up in a very big, very enthusiastic hug.
~~~
Sunrise at sea is indescribably beautiful. The colors that emerge during the rising and setting can take one’s breath away. Shasa lost track of her objective as soon as she stepped on deck.
Marishta stood waiting at the bow. “I can hear you, Shasa, so you might as well stop sneaking up on me.”
Shasa laughed, “I wasn’t sneaking, I just didn’t want to disturb your morning meditation.”
“As you knew I’d be here, waiting for your answer, shall we get right to it?”
“I love you dearly, seoldair, you know that. I’d love to sail with you again, but I can’t. I have to move on elsewhere.”
“I understand, Red.”
“Don’t call me that, Scalawag.” Shasa laughed, and then presented her request. “But I’d like to have a standing invitation to join you, whenever I can, for small trips…just for old times?”
“Always welcome to ride me…uh, with me, Red.”
“You bastard!” Shasa playfully smacked Marishta’s well-muscled ass. “Just for that, I’m not going to give you this present!”
Marishta feigned indifference.
Shasa scowled. “Oh, stop playing for a minute…this is important.”
Marishta’s laughter died down, as he heard a slight tension in her voice. When he was sober, he nodded to his friend.
Shasa cleared her voice. “As former first mate and sole heir to Captain Torrelis of the Suire, I wish to give you, Captain Marishta of the Suire, my father’s broadsword. May you never need to draw it in battle, but may it serve to remind you of those that have gone before.”
The large Egyptian swallowed hard before extending his gnarled hands. Shasa carefully laid the heavy sword in his palms. “And if another Captain of the Suire succeeds you, please pass it on, my friend.”
“I will, Shasa. Thank you. I’ll treasure this always, and it will hold a place of honor on this ship.”
After a quick embrace, Marishta signaled for his helpful young sailor, and walked towards his quarters. Before disappearing he turned back and yelled, “Love you, Red!”
“That bastard.” Shasa muttered.
“Red?”
Shasa whirled around to see a very amused Celt watching her. “Oh that’s just fucking great.”
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The End - 'The Quest' - by Shasa & Nessa