Kindred Spirit Lodge Presents
Where to start...
By picifico
April 2004
This story is a little dark; just remember there is always a light at the end of a tunnel.
____****____
The first thing I remember of this life is only darkness and pain. When
awareness crept into my consciousness, somehow I realized I was in danger. I
don’t know how I knew this; something deep inside my soul just screamed at me
that I had to get away.
The first thing I had to do was figure out what kind of shape I was in physically. Tentatively I moved my arms and legs, the resulting pain was intense. I could tell that my shoulders and hips had suffered some kind of severe strain. Luckily nothing seemed to be broken. When I tried to stand I almost passed out, from the newest sensation of agony my body experienced.
It was then that I realized the true extent of my injuries. I could feel the skin on various parts of my body splitting where only dried blood had been holding it together. I couldn’t see so I could only guess on the amount of blood I was loosing by the amount of warmth moving across my skin. From what I could feel it would not be life threatening, for now that is. I was also aware of a very large lump on the back of my head. All the other aches and pains seemed superficial but managed to add my overall suffering. In general I was not in very good shape to say the least. But I was alive and becoming very angry at who, or what ever put me in this place and was responsible for my current condition.
Riding on the adrenalin of my anger provided I managed to slowly move my arms in different directions, hoping to find a wall or something solid other than the dirt floor I now stood. When I felt nothing solid in any direction I shuffled first one step then another. The whole time waving my hands in front of myself to prevent further injury. After only a few feet a felt what I assumed was a roughly cut stonewall. I moved along the wall, somehow comforted by the solid feel of it. While I hobbled along the wall I tried to force my brain to give up the mystery of who and what I was, regrettably to no success.
So preoccupied with these thoughts I almost missed the small sliver of light just ahead. It looked to be an outline of a door. Rejuvenated by this discover I felt the strength slowly return to my battered body. When I reached the door I placed my ear against it hoping to hear something to give me a clue of what was on the other side. There was only dead silence. So I felt around hoping to find a handle, I came up with a large ring. I tried first to turn it in different direction, it didn’t budge. My next attempt was to try and pull when that didn’t work I pushed. The bloody thing did not move at all, I quickly grew angry and proceeded to assault the door not realizing how foolish this move was. After only moments I fell to the floor exhausted.
I lied they cursing myself for my stupidity and carelessness, I knew better, how I knew that I didn’t know, I just did. That’s when the massive wood door swung outward. The resulting light blinded me for a moment. I could tell that someone stood there, was this friend or foe? Instinctually I jumped up and was in a crouched stance. The silhouette broke the silence with a hushed voice.
“picifico, is that you?”
picifico? It seemed right somehow, yes that had to be me.
“I think so, who are you?”
“It’s Brenna, hurry we must get out of here before she realizes I am missing.”
I wasn’t sure if I was doing the right thing by following her, but what choice did I have. I sure wasn’t going to stay here. When I stepped from the darkness to follow the woman she stopped dead in her tracks.
“By the gods, what has she done to you?”
I looked down at my body, what I could see of it was a mass of bruises. The damage that had been done was beyond words to describe. When I looked up and towards the woman I noticed tears in her eyes. She seemed to want to reach out to me but thought better of it. She just removed her cloak and handed it to me with quiet resignation. When she finally spoke I could tell that her fear had turned to anger.
“She will pay for what she has done to your beautiful body of that you can be sure, sadly not this night. We have to get you to safety first. Follow me.”
I followed her threw what I soon discovered was a very large keep. We walked for quite some time before we stepped out and into a small courtyard. I assumed it was some kind of servant’s entrance by the looks of the surroundings. Waiting for us was a pair of horses already saddled and ready to go. I had so many questions; my mind was reeling. Who was this woman and why was she helping me, and more importantly who was “She”? That was the moment my body decided it had no more to give. The world once more disappeared into blackness.
When I come around I was in a soft bed surrounded by the wonderful smell of freshly baked bread. I kept my eyes closed and tried to determine what kind of situation I was in now. I could hear a fire crackling across the room and a woman’s voice humming a wonderful melody. I wasn’t restrained in any way and I could feel bandages on my wrists and ankles. I than notice the smell of the herbs on the poultices that littering my body.
I decided it would be worth it to take a chance and open my eyes. What I saw was what looked to be a one-bedroom cottage. The woman that was humming was by the fireplace sitting in a rocking chair. This was not the woman I was with before she had to be eighty if she was a day, where as Brenna was no older than thirty summers. If it had not been for the sounds she was making I would have thought her asleep. So when she spoke I was a little startled.
“So you have decided to join the living have you? It’s about time.”
As she said this she rose from her chair and came toward me. My first reaction was to try and move away, but quickly I realized the stupidity of that. If this woman wanted to harm me in any way she would have done it while I slept. When she reached my bedside she softly placed her hand across my forehead.
“It seems that your fever has broke, that’s a good sign. Do you feel up to drinking or eating?”
When I tried to speak the only sound I could manage was a raspy croak, so I just nodded affirmatively. The woman helped my drink a little water and eat a small amount of broth. Without her help I don’t think I cold have managed, I was as week as a newborn babe. I was asleep only moments after she lowered my shoulder back down to the bed.
I don’t know how long it was before I joined the land of the living aging. This time I felt much better I could at least raise myself to a sitting positing without assistance. Again the woman provided me with kindness and nourishment. Once I finished my meal I realized I had an armful of question for this woman. When I spoke everything came out at once.
“Where am I, where is the woman called Brenna? Who are you and what is this place? How did I get here and how long have I been unconscious? What…”
“Easy my child, one question at a time. I will answer any questions that I an able. My name is Myrna; I am an old friend of Brenna’s. She brought you here six days ago. By the gods you were a sight. You need not worry though all your wounds are healing rather nicely, I don’t thing you will even have any scarring to show for your ordeal. As to who you are, all I know is what Brenna told me. Your name is picifico and you are very important to her.”
At that point she did not seem to be able to continue. I saw the tears moisten the eyes of this kindly woman. It looked is if a battle of sorts was being waged in her heart by the expression on her face. Somehow Brenna had something to do with her unhappiness. I waited for a few moments before I asked the inevitable question.
“Where is Brenna?”
My question brought on a silence between us that I knew only she could break. Her eyes held mine as she started to speak.
“She went back the very night she brought you here. I have not seen or heard from her since than. I can only guess what has happened to her, by the goddess I hope her death was quick.”
I don’t know why but the feeling of lose that invaded my soul was overwhelming. I can only sit here and stare back at this woman. This could not be happening, somehow I had to stop the madness that has become my existence. At that very moment the door to the small cabin swung open, it was Brenna. Myrna rushed from my bedside to her, it was obvious that she was not in very good shape. Brenna pushed herself from the doorframe only to lean heavily on the older woman. The two of them slowly went over the bed on the other side of the room. I was stunned; not only by the sight of her battered body but even in this condition she was beautiful beyond words. Even in my current condition I could feel the beginnings of my arousal. When Myrna helped her to lie on the other bed I found myself wanting to be by her side. When I reached her bedside that was when our caregiver noticed my presence.
“ What are you doing out of bed? The last thing I need right is for you to injure yourself again. Now you git back to your bed.”
I only heard the first few words she spoke I looked at Brenna and was mesmerized. My heart was hurting just looking into those amber eyes that seemed to be reflecting the emotions I was now feeling. I knew at that moment that this woman was the heart of my soul, she was my world. What pulled me from my musing was a gentle hand on my shoulder. I then looked at Myrna, I knew she wanted me to go back to my bed for my own health as well as Brenna's. I started to leave when Brenna spoke.
“No Myrna, let her stay, I need her here beside me right now.”
“Brenna I need to dress your wounds. She can come back when I have finished.”
“You know as well as I do, my old friend, you would be just wasting good linen. Now please leave us.”
Myrna leaned over and kissed Brenna’s forehead and whispered something into her ear, then left the two of us along it the small cottage. I then saw the reason why she had refused treatment. Here leather vest had fallen open revealing a massive wound to her left side. When I looked away from the wound and into her eyes I knew our time together was going to be very short. I did the only thing that seemed right; I leaned over and lightly brushed my lips to hers. They were so soft I almost lost myself to the experience. She spoke to me as I pulled away.
“My love we both know that this is the end.”
I tried to protest only to have her silence me with the simplest of gestured. She placed two fingers from her right hand to my lips.
“Let’s not waist these precious moment debating a fact. I will die with the satisfaction of knowing that I have avenged the wrongs that had been done to both of use by that witch Sophie. She now lies in her courtyard providing a meal for the buzzards. We have taught each other much over the last few seasons, now we must take what we have learned on separate paths. I know you will be strong, you always were the more resilient of us. All I ask is when you love again you will not let the memory of me intrude on you new happiness. Use what we had as a template to build a new life. But never forget I will love you forever no matter what. Forever my love, forever.”
She slipped away quietly, leaving me in a pit of anguish. I still did not know who this woman was I did know one thing though; she was a part of me. I placed one last kiss on her wondrous lips. It was then that I realized what I had to do.
It did not take me long to find some clothes that I could wear. Once dressed I took my lovers sword, it would now be mine. It would be a reminder of all that is good.
____****____
(Part 2:)
I must be in heaven; it can be the only explanation for the wondrous way I feel. Every nerve ending feels completely overloaded, in a good way that is. As I drifted off into an exhausted slumber I new I was sporting a nasty grin.
Morpheus took me to his realm the moment I closed my eyes. I seemed to be reliving the past year, only it was in fast forward. I saw my self wondering all over the country side trying to learn something about my identity. Everywhere I went not a living soul had heard of a woman called picifico, or recognized me from sight. It almost seamed as if I popped out of someone’s imagination.
I saw myself practicing endlessly with Brenna’s sword in the vain hope that one day I would be worthy to carry it in her place. I had many excellent teachers on my travels; it seemed every village I went to the arms master was more then willing to give my lessons. I don’t know if it was because I was so eager or because I was a “woman”. I didn’t care what their reasoning was, I was learning, and from what my numerous teachers told me, I was learning fast.
I watched my first attempt at hunting, now that was a disaster. I did manage to catch a small rabbit on my first attempt. Catching it was the only thing I did right. Not only could I not kill the small animal when I had it, I ended up giving it the last of my bread, because I felt so bad about hurting it. That’s when I decided the only meat I would eat, was meat someone else butchered and prepared. The “mighty hunter” I would never be.
Then my dream turn to a nightmare as a relived the first time I had to kill a man. It took me quite some time to come to terms with my feelings. I thought I had until now. As I relived the moment my sword slid in to his body. The emotions were as fresh as if it had happened only yesterday; in fact it happened over six moons ago. I could again feel the doubt and fear, did I have to kill the man, could I have saved my life in any other way. Just as I thought I would again be overwhelmed by the agony of those thoughts, I felt at peace again, I did what I had to, nothing more nothing less.
I remembered the conversation I had with Myrna the day I went back to her cottage, in the hope that she might have some answers for me. I was again disappointed; all she could tell me was what I already knew. I did find out one thing, Brenna had been a very rich woman when she died. She has left instructions with Myrna if anything should happen to her that I was to never want for anything. I left so quickly the night she died Myrna never had a chance to tell me. I left that day with my belly full and my saddlebags even fuller. She told me if I ever needed anything, all I would have to do was send word to her and she would take care of it. Before I left that day I stopped at Brenn’s grave to say my final farewell. I walked away knowing I would never look back but I would always remember the love I had felt for her. That was one thing that had not been stolen from me. Only days later I purchased the charming mare, that has been my constant companion for two moons now. I named her Kratos, which meant strength.
The next scene of this crazy dream was from this very morning. I was riding into yet another small village on my quest. There was nothing to differentiate it from any other that I had seen. I asked the usual questions of the same type of people. Always the same answer, they knew nothing that could help me. While I arranged logging for the night at the local inn an old man approached me with news of a woman who lived just south of the village, if anyone could help me with finding out information she could. When I questioned him about her, his only reply was, ‘she is a wise woman’. I asked him for the exact direction and left for her home. I was expecting an old woman, hence the word wise, to my surprise she looked no older then forty. She was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. She stood just shy of six foot, with curves that were in all the right places. Her hair was the color of ripened wheat and her eyes were such a deep brown they almost looked black. Before I could dismount from my house she spoke.
“Take her over there to the barn, and settle her in for the night. The answers you seek will take more time than this day has left to give.”
I sat there like a fool, not sure what I should do. How did this woman know why I was here? All of a sudden I felt as if someone had placed a hot coal on my thigh. I was just about to slap what ever was on my leg away when I realized it was the woman’s hand. This time when she spoke to me her voice was not as sharp.
“You must be tired, come we will take care of your magnificent animal then we will take care of you.”
It almost seemed as if Kratos understood what she said. She nickered at her and pushed her muzzle into her hand. With out protest I dismounted and followed her and my horse to a small barn that was to the left of her home. It wasn’t until we reached the barn and she started to unsaddle my horse did I realize what was happening.
“What do you think you are doing? I never agreed to spend the night here.”
“You will.”
After that statement she turned and walked back to her cottage. She never even looked back to see if I was following or not. This woman was beginning to annoy me. So what did I do? I followed her to her to her cottage. Well I needed answers, didn’t I?
As soon as I stepped through the door, I was met with a towel and bar of soap.
“Take off you clothes and leave them outside the door. I refuse to have a conversation with someone that smells like horse sweat and wet leather. The tub is on the other side of the table. The water is almost ready, so stop standing there like a school boy being scolded and get ready.”
“Wait one bloody second! Who do you think you are ordering me around?”
“Stop your winning and get in the tub or I will strip you myself and throw you in!”
It was amazing what I would do to find out about my past. If this woman could help, I guess it wouldn’t hurt. I needed one any ways, now was as good as any time, I guess. I asked one more question.
“My name is picifico, may I ask what yours might be?”
“You may call me Shea”
Again it was if I was dismissed. So I did the only thing I could. I stripped and had a bath.
The whole time I was washing I could have sworn Shea was watching me, but when ever I looked around, she was nowhere to be seen. I decided to shrug if off as nerves, and finished bathing. When I was done I dried my self off and wrapped the same towel around myself. The only clothes I had were now in a pile outside the cabin door. I had left all of my gear at the inn. As quickly as I had put the towel on it was pulled off.
“HEY! Do you mind, it cold in here without any clothes on! ”
“Not at all, but I would prefer you wearing this robe. And you are correct, I can see that it is rather chilly in here.”
I could have sworn I saw a smirk on her face when she said that. Then it dawned on me what she was talking about. I felt the tips of my ears begin to burn from my sudden embarrassment. I quickly put the robe on. Then I sat down it the table.
“So Shea, what information can you give me about my past?”
“None.”
“What are you kidding me? Then what was all that gibberish you were spouting earlier!?”
“I never told you I had the answers to your past, I said the answers that you seek would be here.”
I was starting to get pissed, I was tired of this woman’s attitude.
“What in Hades are you talking about!?”
“You are not here to find your past. You are here to find out how to move on in spite of it.”
“Now I am more confused than ever. What do you mean?”
“You have let your past consume you. Can you tell me one thing you have done in last year that was not motivated by your quest for answers?
I thought about what she had just said. She was right, but that did not mean I had been wrong.
“You are correct. You were not wrong to try to find out who you are. But the time has come to look to the future. You may not be the person you once were that does not mean you can not embrace who you have become.”
“Hold it one second! I never said that out load.”
“Again you are accurate. Your thoughts are so loud you practically screamed it at me”
“You mean…… you can read my mind?
“Only yours, do not worry I don’t make it a habit of invading people’s thoughts. Like I said you were practically screaming at me. It was kind hard to ignore.”
“OK, this is staring to get creepy. Just tell me what you think I should do so I can get out off here.”
“It’s quite simple actually, just stop.”
“Stop?”
“Yes stop, stop looking for who you were and begin to build a life of the here and now.”
While she was saying that she placed her hand on mine. It felt almost like a spark had been dropped down my spin. I couldn’t help but to shiver noticeable from the sensation. While her thumb caressed the top of my hand she continued to speak.
“The first thing you need to take care of is your physical health. You have been so preoccupied with other things you have let you body suffer in many ways. I would bet you have lost weight over the past year. I can tell by your pallor that you have not been eating proper either. That has to stop, if your body is not sound how can you expect your mind to be. Secondly, when is the last time you took a lover?
That one came out of left field, I was not sure how to answer her. So I gave it my best shot.
“Well to be honest, with the memory lose and all I can’t remember when I ah…had ah... you know what I mean.”
I was surprised by the genuine smile that appeared on her face.
“Yes picifico I do. Don’t you think it is time to change that?”
As said that she stood and came over to my side of the table. For a moment she stood there and just looked at me. I could not bring myself to look into her eyes, I was so embarrassed by this whole conversation. If I was reading it right she wanted to sleep with me. I will admit the idea was very appealing. I new I couldn’t do it though; I did not even know this woman.
“picifico, we are both old souls. We have known each other from the beginning of time. We have never been life partners, but we have been lovers many times. If you look into yourself you will know it is the truth that I speak. Many times in the past we have been there when the other needed something. We have given our lives for each other and we have given friendship. I am here for you now, to reawaken your body to life so you can start building a future.”
“Again with the mind reading, knock it off please. It is rather unsettling.”
“I’m sorry I will try.”
We both stopped talking at that moment while I tried to digest all of what she had just said to me. My first thought was that she was some kind of nut. But when I truly look inside myself for the answer I knew she was telling me the truth. I felt my throat contact with the emotions that were now invading my thoughts. The tears started to flow before I even realized it. It was then that she pulled me to my feet and into her arms. I could feel her breath on my neck when she whispered into my ear.
“To night you are mine to pleasure, and pleasure it will be.”
My body reacted to her words; I cold feel the moisture between my legs begin to flow. The bed was only a few steps from where we stood, so minimal movement was necessary to get there. Shea never stopped speaking in whispers to me the whole time.
“Tonight I will show you all the wonders I have learned in this life. I want you to do what ever I tell you without question or hesitation, is that clear?”
“Yes”
That was all I could mange to say, it seemed as if she was caressing my body with her words. The resulting sensation was euphoric.
“Good. The first thing I want you to do is get on the bed face down.”
I did as she asked. I felt her hands lightly on my ankles, as her body moved closer to mine her hands slid up the back of my legs, and over my backside. Then her right hand moved along my hip and sashayed around to my stomach. I could feel her whole body against me. I once again felt her murmur in my ear.
“Rise up to you hands and knees my lover, its time to teach you a thing or two”
I don’t know what she meant by that, but it didn’t matter. My body was now screaming for her touch.
“Stop thinking so much picifico, just listen to my voice. I will tell you what is going to happen every step of the way. Try not to physically feel my touch just feel it with your mind. Do you understand?”
All I could manage this time was a nod.
“Now that you are on your hand and knees I want you to spread your legs for me. That’s it. My right hand is now moving to you mound. I am so looking forward to the feel of your wet juices between my fingers while I massage that wondrous little clit of yours. You can feel my fingers there now can’t you? I am slowly circling it, just barely touching you.
Oh, it feels so wonderful to feel you squirm beneath me. I am pressing myself harder against your luscious ass. Push back into me now, yeees that’s it…… My other hand is moving to enter you; by the gods you are wet! My right hand is still caressing you lightly while I slowly run my fingers around your entrance. I am spreading you juices over your backside so that I will be able to explore all of you. I have a little surprise waiting for you under my robe, it will fill you to your limit and then some. But first I must indulge myself a little.
I bet you have noticed my hand is no longer there. In just a moment it will be in my mouth so I can taste your sweet ambrosia…… Ahh, so sweet tasting. It almost makes me want to go back for seconds; I believe I am going to do just that. I just want a little more this time. This is why I am pushing two fingers into you now. I am moving them around to coat them completely….. I can tell you like that, but you must be patient my pet, I will fill you soon enough… I have taken my hand away once more so I may feast a little……. This is defiantly the food of the gods,……
I have removed my robe, can you feel my little surprise? Oh yes I can tell you do……. If you keep moving like that against me I might just have to take you now. Aren’t we the adventurous one. You have no shame I can tell by the way you are pushing against me. It does feel wonderful from my prospective though. Maybe I should reward you with a little more pressure to your little nub……. Yes that’s it, I believe you are getting very close now, but you are not allowed release until I give you permission. I have stopped the movement of both my hands, to make my point…… Just breathe and let your body come down a bit.”
“My right hand is back in its warm little cove again, only this time I am moving faster around your little jewel. The phallus is pressing against you now; I have lubricated it quite thoroughly with your essence….. I am pushing it into you very slowly,…… I am almost half way in now….. I stop,… only for a moment though, with one hard push I am completely inside you now. I start to move inside you, just short strokes for now. Oh no you don’t, I told you release is not an option. I stop my movements again.”
“Ok let’s try this once more. I have resumed my movement. I am starting to move faster and harder. Just hold on a little longer my pet. My other hand is back in the action now, you feel me pressing into your rear entrance, lightly at first…….. Now I am adding more force, not yet, just hold a little longer. I am inside with one finger now. Once inside my movements are subtle, slight movements that are going to leave you wanting more……. I think it is time, come for me picifico. I have increased the speed of my thrust as you body goes over the edge.”
“I have removed both my hands and now only the phallus is left inside of you. My hands are on your hips to steady you. I have not stopped fucking you…… You will come for me again. This time I am not holding back, I slam into you with all my strength. You are close,……. that’s it, come for me.”
Shea slowly removed the phallus from my body. I could not move if I had wanted to.
With that finale episode of my dream ended. Not only did I live the whole thing this day, I relived it in my dream. The gods must be smiling on me.
I awoke to Shea’s lips working on my neck.
“Wakey wakey sleeping beauty. I want you again.
I sleepy replied
“Again?!!!?”
“Yes again.”
____****____
(Part 3a:)
When I said my farewells to Shea almost two years ago it was with a heavy heart. We both knew it was time, I was ready to move on. While we were together she opened my eyes to a very important piece of knowledge. “Who I was, is not nearly as important as who I could be.” When I showed up at Shea’s home, I was searching for my past; the day I left I would be starting to build my future.
Since that time I have been wandering the countryside looking for someplace I could call home. Not that the search hasn’t had its moments mind you. I was just growing tired of moving from one place to another. Everywhere I had been so far just didn’t seem to fit. There were rumors of a place where weary female travelers were welcomed with open arms. I was now trying to find this elusive sanctuary. I ran across a traveling bard who new how to find it so with directions in hand I was heading there now. My hopes were high that I would finally bring this chapter of my life to a close. I was so caught up in my thoughts I almost didn’t notice the color of the sky. By the looks of the very black clouds, if I didn’t find shelter soon I was going to be a very wet traveler. Looking at the horizon I nudged Kratos, it was time to pick the pace and find some shelter.
I was just about to resign myself to spending the night under the stars and rain when I spotted what looked to be a small cave up ahead. On closer inspection I discovered I had not been the first traveler to make use of this haven. Neatly stacked on one side of the cave wall was a good supply of fire wood. Once I settled Kratos for the night I decided to take a look around. There were definite signs the cave had not only been used as a shelter, but a home. By the looks of the items I found around the cave it had been quite some time since anyone had lived here, what wasn’t covered in a think layer of dirt was cocooned in cobwebs.
I cleared a small area of the cave near the fire pit. Once I was satisfied with the arguments of my sleeping gear I started a small fire to cook with. Surprisingly, it took the chill from the room rather quickly. That and a large bowl of jerky soup had my yawning in no time at all. The rain started to come down so before I settled in for the night I checked on my four legged companion. I was happy to discover she found shelter just around the corner from the cave entrance. She had protection from the rain and most of the wind. I pulled a dried apple from my pocket and sliced it in two. As she took the offer treats I rested my head on her strong shoulder. It was on nights like this that I valued her strong presence the most.
“Well my friend looks like we both will be out of the rain for the night.”
She responded with a soft nicker and leaned into me curling her massive neck around me. If a horse could hug someone I am sure this is what it would be like. She seemed to know when I needed one. I gave her another quick brushing and headed into the cave. After adding a few small logs to the fire I settled in for the night.
I woke several times; sure that someone had entered the cave. After searching the cave and surrounding area every time I figured it must have just been dreaming.
The next morning it was still raining, I kept myself busy repairing some of my gear. When I went out to say goodnight to Kratos I noticed what seemed to be a small opening in the rock wall. I was surprised to find a small weathered scroll tucked inside a leather case. As soon as I was back inside the cave I settled in quickly, I was looking forward to discovering the secrets the little treasure may reveal. I don’t know how old it may have been; judging by the condition of the leather that surrounded it had been there a very long time. Luckily it seemed the case had kept the parchment safe from the elements. I carefully unrolled it and began to read.
~~~~~~~
I am writing this during one of my brief and all too infrequent moments of sanity. My story will never be remembered by another so I feel I must put it in writing.
I came into this world known as Catlin Lafferty, daughter of Dawn and Gordon. I will leave it branded ‘the hag’. I grew up in a small village not far from here. I had been happy enough with the cards the fates dealt me. I grew up with the knowledge that I would one day be given in marriage to one of the men in my community. If I was lucky I would bear my husband many strong sons. That was until that fateful day the Warrior woman rode into our tiny village.
Strangers were rare, female stranger even more so. This woman was extraordinary; the air around her seemed to shimmer. As the warrior went from one shop to another I hid in the shadows watching her. She never asked for anything, it she wanted something she demanded it. Not a soul in town seemed inclined to refuse her anything. I watched as she spoke to Ryen, the owner of our one and only inn. What I found humorous was how Ryen was cowering to this woman. He was known for his distain for woman. “barefoot and pregnant” was his only use for my gender. Yet he stood there passively while she ordered him to have a bath in her room within the hour.
When he scrambled into the inn to carry out her orders, he tripped and almost fell on his fat face. I stopped myself from laughing out loud but a small squeak escaped my lips. It was at that moment she turned and looked my direction. I felt like a rabbit caught in a trap, to afraid to move. Her eyes bore into me, her face first showed amusement then quickly changed. I tried to turn and run but found myself instead walking toward her. She just stood statuesque, her ice blue eyes commanding my presence. When I was directly in front of her I lowered my eyes to the ground. She placed her hand under my chin, forcing me to look at her, there was just the hint of a smile on her lips. She spoke in a manner that one would to a skittish colt, her voice was almost gentle.
“So this is the little mouse that has dogged my trail the entire day. What do you think I should demand for providing you with entertainment for the day? I think turn around is fair play, don’t you? You will be my entertainment tonight.”
I was dumfounded, what could a simple village girl do that would entertain this warrior for the night? Then it dawned on me, by the gods she couldn’t mean…That’s when she closed what little distance there was between us. As fast as Hermes she had me turned around facing the inn. A shiver ran down my spine when she hissed into my ear.
“I take your silence to mean you agree; you will go to my room and wait for me there. I expect you bathed and undressed when I arrive.”
It was then that I found my voice.
“I don’t understand I…”
“You will address my as my Lord from this moment on! You do not need to understand only to obey! Now, move!”
I was shoved in the direction of the inn. I dared a glance over my shoulder. To my surprise she was walking away from me, toward the livery. I realized I had been dismissed. My first thought was to run, run home as fast as my legs would take me. Instead I walked toward the inn.
When I walked into the Inn Ryen gave me the once over that he always did. There was rumor that he had approached my father for my hand in marriage. The idea made me sick to my stomach; I could never imagine his sweaty fat hand touching me. I instantly felt flush as an image of the warrior’s hands caressing me floated behind my eyes. I had to put my hand on the door frame to steady myself. Ryen chose that moment to bark at be.
“Catlin, what are you doing in here without a proper escort? Get out of here before I tan your pretty little behind.”
Without even thinking I blurted out.
“The warrior has told me to go up to her room. If you will tell me witch one it is I will gladly leave the tavern.”
“Are you a fool girl? If that bitch finds you in her room she will skin you alive. Now git!”
“I’m serious Ryen, I was told…”
“Enough of this crazy talk, that is not a woman to trifle with. If you are curious about her, do what the rest of us do. Watch her…from a distance. This is the last time I am going to say this, get your behind home, now!”
For a moment I considered demanding to know where her room was, than I thought better of if. I would just wait outside the inn until the warrior returned. About a candle mark had passed when I saw her marching toward me, she did not look happy.
When she grabbed my roughly by the arm I was so shocked I couldn’t speak. She never said a word as she practically dragged me into the inn. When I was about to speak she stopped and roughly turned me to face her. Her eyes bore down on me as if daring me to say a word. When she seemed satisfied with my silence we continued to move through the room, her hand still firmly gripping my arm.
I almost jumped out of my skin when Ryen stepped in our path.
“Has this girl been bothering you my Lord? If so I will personally tan her hide and send her scampering home.”
“That will not be necessary inn keep. My room is ready I presume?”
“Yes my Lord, but what of the girl?”
“She is my concern, not yours. Now get out of my way so I may retire for the evening.”
“But, she…”
“I SAID GET OUT OF MY WAY,…NOW!”
I swear if Ryan would have moved any faster he would have ruptured something. It was a rather amusing sight. Before I had a chance to comment I was again being pulled through the inn.
The moment we stepped into her room the door was kicked shut and locked behind me. The warrior never said a word while she undressed. I watched fascinated as every piece of armor and clothing was discarded. She was a vision to behold. Her sun darkened skin glistened with a fine sheen of sweat from the days heat. Once she was naked she again turned her attention to me.
“I have two questions for you girl. First, do you understand why you are here?”
I hesitated for only a moment. I could already feel the heat on my face as I blushed.
“I believe I am her to provide you pleasure, my Lord.”
“Correct. Second, do you want to leave?”
I wasn’t sure if I understood her correctly. Did she mean I had a choice as to stay or go?
“I…I’m not sure what you mean?”
“Just what I said. Do you want to stay or go!? I will not keep you here, or take liberties against your will. But be forewarned if you stay there will be no turning back. Once you decide to stay, you will be mine to do with as I wish.”
I knew in my heart what my answer would be before I spoke.
“I want to stay.”
~~~~
I felt trapped and free at the same time. I knew I had stepped into a world I knew nothing about. For the first time in my life I made a decision that was not dictated by what my family wanted, it was what I wanted.
I didn’t have a lot of time to enjoy this revelation before the warrior had grabbed the front of my dress and tore it from my body. My hands were bound to a rafter with nary a protest from myself; I knew in my heart that I would be wasting my breath in doing so. I did not understand what was happening until the warrior hissed into my ear.
“The first thing we have to address is your failure to follow my orders. You were not ready and waiting for me in my room.”
“My Lord I tried, but…”
My words were cut of when she grasped my nipple aggressively between her fingers. She never released the pressure as she spoke.
“I will not listen to excesses! This will be your first lesson in obedience.”
The warrior was now rolling my nipple between her fingers as if to accentuate her point. The pain was beyond measure. I was surprised when her touch started to excite me.
“I can’t let such an offence go unpunished. When I have finished you WILL remember to thank me or we will begin this particular session over again. Do you understand?”
To make sure she had my full attention she squeezed the already tender nipple just little bit harder. I couldn’t help but gasp when this resulted in the most pleasurable feeling between my legs. I whispered.
“Yes my Lord.”
She moved away from me the moment I answered her. I heard her movements behind me, but did not dare to look to see what she was doing. The next thing I felt was what I thought to be her belt trailing across my shoulder and down my spin. I felt her breath on my neck and her voice in my ear.
“I only do this to teach you my little sprite. I will stop when I think this lesson is has been fully understood and ingrained into your soul, not a second before.”
The next thing I felt was the blasting pain of the belt across my backside. Strike after strike assaulted my body. My warrior was efficient in her punishment; every inch of my backside was visited by it stinging touch. I cried out, begging her to stop over and over again, to no avail. My voice was horse when the beating finally came to an end. At some time during it all I had stopped standing, my weight rested solely on my bound wrists. I felt my warrior gently lift my body and released my wrists. She then carried me to the bath and slowly lowered my body into the now tepid water. The moment my backside touched the water I cried out. I couldn’t believe the tenderness I now heard in her voice.
“Hush my little sprite, the water will only sting for a moment. Just try to relax while of wash your lovely body. Do you have something to say to me?”
What came from my lips came honestly and in earnest.
“Thank you my Lord.”
My heart ached when I saw the smile that graced her beautiful face. The hands that had so brutally handled my body before were now gentle and caring. I felt safe in this glorious woman’s presence and aroused by her touch. When she was finished bathing me she carried me to the bed and tenderly set me down.
“Rest for a bit little one while I take a bath.”
I tried to keep my eyes open but lost the battle quickly to my exhaustion.
I woke to hands lightly caressing my shoulders. I shivered when she practically growled her words into my neck.
“Now is time for you to learn your second and most important lesson.”
My body tensed with the thought of another round with my warrior’s belt.
“Relax My little sprite; lesson number two is much easier to endure. For your next lesson you will learn there will always by pleasure after the pain.”
As she spoke one of her hands trailed down my back. When she took my now tender behind into her hand she applied just a small amount of pressure while she massaged my tender skin. Her other hand reached around and almost timidly grasped my breast. I reacted instinctively to her hands and mouth exploring my body. When she placed my legs over her shoulders I wasn’t sure what to expect. I was pleasantly surprised when her fingers gently parted my folds and she took me into her mouth. Her tongue circled my bud lightly, driving me insane with want. I tried to thrust my hips toward her torturous tongue only to have her strong hands hold my hips still. When her fingers pressed into the tender flesh of my backside I gasped at the unexpected mixture of pleasure and pain. My back arched and I pressed with all my might into her touch as my body exploded with mind-blowing sensations.
Before I could truly savor the exquisite feeling I felt her fingers start to enter me. My want and fear battled as she continued to penetrate. She hesitated only for a moment when she reached the proof of my virginity, her other hand then raked across my behind at the very moment she pressed into me. The shock caused me to cry out, the pain lasted only a moment then her fingers began there gentle exploration. My body began to climb once more, my need for her growing with every touch.
When she pulled her fingers from my bodies grasp I was about to protest, until I noticed the phallus she wore. The hunger in her eyes way that of a wolf to it’s pray. My warrior then pushed my knees to my chest, the whole time pinning me with her glare. She thrust into me with unbridled passion. I saw her hunger rise with every advance, her lust combined with the feel of the phallus driving into me quickly drove my body to the brink. As my body approached released yet again I cried out to my Lord. Her body tensed as she howled like a beast in pain, as she impaled my one last time, taking me with here to ecstasy.
Without a word she removed the phallus and pulled me to her, spooning me with her body. As I faded into sleep I could tell by the tension of her body that she was still very much awake.
The next few weeks were bliss; we spent every waking moment with each other. My warrior was not one to talk but what she lacked in word she more then made up for with her actions. I knew the people of the village were appalled with our love, fortunately for me, not one of them would dare to voice their opinion.
We had been enjoying life together for almost three moons when the messenger arrived with that cursed scroll. To this day I do not know what was written. All she would tell me was that she had to leave for a few days. If everything went as she planned we would leave the village and begin our lives together when she returned. I begged her to take me with her, she would not allow it. I did not push too hard, I new better then that. Things had change between us since we first met, but I knew from experience that I would receive another ‘lesson’ if I argued.
The day she left I asked her to tell me her true name, she refuse but promised me if all went well on her trip I would be told when she returned. I knew she would be back in only a few days, to me that was a few days to many. Once I could no longer see her ride away I went back to out room, hoping to sleep as much of her absence away as possible. Sleep did not come easy without her, but eventually I closed my eyes to her absence.
I was pulled from Morpheus grasp by hands that even in sleep I knew were not hers. When I opened my eyes I was horrified at what I saw. Ryen stood over me with a pair manacles in one hand, smelling suspiciously of wine.
“Ryen what in Hades name do you think you are doing? When my Lord returns she will skin you alive for coming in here!”
“That she dog is an abomination! What she had tuned you into is disgusting, I will fix what she has destroyed!”
“What are you babbling about, what do you have to fix?”
“You. Your father has agreed to give me your hand in marriage. He had refused me your hand when I first asked, that was before she came. Now he knows you are damaged goods, he jumped at the chance for a respectable marriage for you.”
I tried to push passed him; I had to find my warrior. This could get out of hand very quickly if something wasn’t done. Ryen moved faster than I thought possible when he grabbed me by my arm and placed one of the manacle on my left wrist. The other he attached to the heavy metal railing on the bed. Leaning into me he started to paw at my nightshirt.
“Get your hands off me you pig! I will not allow you to touch me!”
I tried to push him away from me, only to find myself pined to the bed by his massive bulk. I kicked and screamed in attempt to get free. My thrashing only managed to knock the oil lamp from the bedside table. Ryen screamed when the flames caught to his trousers. He ran to the wash basin throwing what water there was onto his legs to put out the flame. While he did this the fire quickly caught to the bedding, and the wood furniture. I was quickly surrounded by the flames, I screamed to Ryen.
“Ryen, Help me! Take these bloody manacles off! In the name of all the gods man don’t just stand there, do something!”
He had the look of a frightened beast as he watched the flames. I frantically swatted at fire as it crept toward me. I fought for my survival while Ryen bolted from the room, leaving me to die a horrible death.
~~~~
I could feel the heat from the fire as it slither toward me, I franticly tried to think of a way to free myself. My lungs started to burn from the intense heat. The blaze lapped at my nightclothes, I was helpless, manacled to the bed. I remember hearing myself scream when the inferno engulfed me. First my clothing ignited then my hair. I became an animal trapped; I pulled with all my strength. I felt the skin being pulled from my body then the sickening sound of bone splintering as my hand came free. I ran threw the flames like a phoenix. The last thing I remember was something being thrown over my body.
I found out later that I teetered between life and death for weeks. When I finally came around I wished I hadn’t, from that moment on, pain became my constant companion. Almost every surface of my body was covered with burns. When I asked about my warrior I was told by the village elders that she had never come back. I wouldn’t believe them, I would find her some day. Finding her again became my one and only motivation to get well. That was until I had a chance encounter with a looking glass. My features were hideous, what had once been a beautifully sculptured face, was now a mass of scared twisted skin. That day I truly died. I would not seek out my Lord or anyone else for that matter.
I don’t remember how long it took before I could care for myself. The whole time only two people came into the small shed that had been cleared to allow me some place to recover. My almost constant companion was Samantha; she was a widow with no family. I suppose she cared for me because no one else would. The only other person I saw was my father. His visit was short and brutal. He never looked at me when he entered the room. When I reached out for him he stepped back raising his had in a motion for me to be silent. It was an action I knew well, when ever he had something to say and did not want to be interrupted he did this.
“Catlin you have brought shame to my house when you let that devil bed you. I had hoped to repair the damage when Ryan offered to take your hand in marriage. That is no longer an option; even he will not take you now. It is my duty to provide for you for as long as you live, but that is all I will do. You are never to come to my home or try to contact your mother of myself. If you need anything, send word via the town elders. It has been agreed by all that you may stay in this building for as long as you wish. I want you to be aware that no one wants you here but we are honor bound to care for you. You brought this upon yourself, now you will live with the consequences.”
He looked at me for just a moment, then tuned and left. I had expected his wrath, but not this, his hatred. Something snapped in me that day. My body may have healed, as much as it ever would, but my soul began to die. I decided then, that I would leave this village of horrors.
I packed the few belongings I had and prepared to leave. When Samantha came by with my daily meal she seemed distressed that I was preparing to go. She never tried to stop me but did pull me into her arms and hugged me. When she let me go she had tears in her eyes. When she spoke her aged voice cracked with emotion.
“Child I am sorry for what has happened to you. I wish I could have done more, but I am dependent on these people to survive. I am too old to care for myself and have no family that will take me in.”
I then realized how similar our fates were.
“I understand Samantha, we all do what we have to survive. For me it is to leave this retched place.”
“Before you leave I have to tell you something very important.”
I thought for a moment I saw fear in her eyes. I wondered what could be so important and would frighten this woman so. I waited patiently while she gathered her courage to continue. I saw a spark light in her eyes when she began to speak.
“Your warrior did come back for you.”
I couldn’t believe my ears, did she say what I thought she did?
“What are you talking about!? When, why did she come!?”
Then it hit me. Of course she left me behind; I was no longer the woman she loved. I was a body incased in a mass of scares.
“Child she did not leave you. She was told that you had died in the fire.”
My mind reeled at the news, could it be true? I could find my warrior, we would be together again. The reality of my new life took this moment to crash into me. Once she took one look at my ruined body she would shun me just as the rest of the world had. I would never see her again, but I would die knowing she had tried to come back for me. Nothing had changed.
“Thank you for telling me this Samantha. It has lightened some of the burden that my heart must carry.”
Before she could respond I kissed her weathered cheek and left.
I found this cave four days after I left my village, I believe it was fifty seasons ago. I have made this cave my home. The only people that I see anymore are from a distance. I am sure the tales of the hag that lives in the hills are many and farfetched. It does not matter though the end is near, the damage to my body and time, have taken there toll.
These are my last words to who ever ends up reading my story.
Remember me as a woman who albeit for a short time, loved and was loved in return.
Catlin Lafferty
~~~~~~~~
The story I had just read touched something deep in my mind. It almost felt like a memory but not quite. I felt for this woman and her pain, I knew what it was like to lose your life and the one you loved.
The fire had burned down to embers while I had read her story and a chill had returned to the small cave. I reached to put more wood on the fire when I saw her standing there. It was Catlin, of that I was sure. What confused me was she did not look to be a woman of fifty plus seasons. Even with the scared skin she looked to be no more that twenty. Then I noticed something else, there was a visible aura about here. When she spoke I was immediately taken back by her beautiful voice.
“Please do not be afraid. I am hideous to look at but I am harmless. It has been so long since I have spoken to another person. Please spend the night here and talk to me.”
Here pain and loneliness touched me. Even if I had not read her story I would have stayed.
“I have no intention of leaving you alone this night. Come sit by the fire and have some soup. It’s not much but you are welcome to what I have.”
She smile brightly and joined my by the fire.
“Thank you for you’re hospitably, may I ask you name. I am guessing you already know mine?
Her statement confused me.
“My name is picifico, why would you think I know your name?
“I would not be here if you had not read my story. I am destined to spend eternity within the wall of this cave, alone. You have opened the door between your world and mine when you read my story.”
I jumped up and away from her in one fluid motion. What in Hades! This woman was a spirit!
“I will not hurt you, please stay and talk to me? So many have come only to leave me alone again.”
Something about the way she said the last statement tore at my heart. I would not let this women spend another lonely night. She may be a spirit but she was in pain. I wanted to help her somehow. I steeled my nerves and sit beside her.
“I’m sorry I jumped like that, it’s not everyday a spirit joins me by my fire.”
The laugh that came form her small frame warmed my heart. I saw a little of what the warrior must have seen. She may not have the physical beauty she had when they were together, but I already saw a little of the inner beauty the she had.
“I see your point picifico, I guess I should work on my entrance.”
We both laughed. We talked for hours about everything and nothing. She was incredibly charming with a quick wit. It was an evening of friendly banter. As we talked I was sure that her scares started to disappear from her body. I brushed it off thinking my fatigue and the light were playing tricks on me. It was about an hour before sunset when I realized the scars had all but disappeared. Before me sat a woman of incredible beauty. Not just in the physical sense but her soul. When she noticed my stares she stopped talking. I saw the look of pain shroud her face.
“I am sorry I forgot how ugly I am, if you like I can move into the shadows. I do not want this night to end; I have had such a wonderful time.”
Realizing she had taken my silence the wrong way I quickly tried to reassure her.
“Catlin, please I never saw you as ugly. Even when you were so scared. Please do not be upset, I am just a little taken back by how beautiful you are.”
She looked at me as if I had just grown a third eye.
“How can you say that? Nobody could look at me and see anything of beauty, I am hideous!”
With out thinking I took her hand and placed it on her cheek to show her what I was trying to say. The moment her hand felt nothing but smooth skin she started to cry.
“I’m sorry Catlin I did not mean to hurt you. I thought you would want to know the scares have disappeared.”
“You have not hurt me my sweet picifico. You have healed me. I don’t know why or how, but thank you. The tears are of joy, nothing else.”
We were both startled by the voice that came from the entrance of the cave.
“She healed you with nothing more than a caring heart my love. She looked past the scares and saw your true beauty. That simple act freed you and allowed me to find you.”
Catlin jumped up and crossed the short distance to the warrior that stood there in what seemed like a heart beat in time.
“My Lord! Is it really you?! I have missed you so!”
She was in the warriors arms crying in earnest now. My presence all but forgotten. I looked into the warriors eyes and saw how deeply she loved the woman she now held. I felt like I was intruding by witnessing their reunion, this was there time. So I stared at the fire. The warrior’s voice brought my attention back to them.
“I wish there was something I could do to repay you for what you have done. Unfortunately, not being of your world anymore I have nothing to offer.”
She paused for a moment; she looked to be listening to something or someone. Then she took Catlin's hand in her and walked toward me.
“We have to leave now, thank you again for what you have done for us.”
Catlin released the warriors hand and circled me in her arms. She kissed me on the cheek and whispered.
“My warrior may not have something for you, but I do.”
I felt a painful blast of heat when she placed her hands over my heart. I started to get lightheaded when the room began to fade to grey. When Catlin moved back to her warriors arms she looked over her shoulder and simply said.
“Remember.”
My body convulsed with the shock of memories. I sat stunned, unable to speak. I watched as they walked away together. There bodies disappeared before the left the cave. I laid back and let sleep take me.
When I woke I realized that Catlin had given me only a small piece of the puzzle, but it was enough. I had a choice to make, would I continue on my current path or go back to face the demons of my past.
It would be the future I would seek, the past belonged were it was, behind me.
____****____
I wrote this story with a very special woman in mind. Her beautiful soul was taken from my life last night when she lost her battle with breast cancer. This story is for Darlean, one of my dearest friends.
picifico
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The End -- by Picifico