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Kindred Spirit Lodge Presents
Nessa Feels
by Nessa & Killian
July 16th, 2002
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(Nessa) --
Nessa moved around the room as if she was a target of some unseen enemy. Indeed, the enemy she was keeping busy to avoid was her own feelings. Drinking to dodge feeling was no longer an option for the Celt. There were no outer battles to fight here in the peace of the Lodge. The battles, it seemed were within.
Nessa walked to the window and pulled the drape open. The day was warm, lending an extra pungency to the scent of Jasmine that filled the room. She dropped her gaze to the stables below. She watched Killian lead her own mare, Midnight Flame from the stables to the corral. Nessa’s heart felt like it would burst from her. It felt swollen with love… and sorrow.
The Celt bolted from her room. She needed to talk to Killian. It seemed that her prayers fell short. Nessa couldn’t get a feel for what she needed to say to the lass. Her discomfort grew as she glided through the Lodge and still she strode on.
The warrior slowed her pace as she reached the fence of the corral. Standing on the outside now, she lifted a leathered foot to rest on the lowest rail and leaned forward on the fence. She just watched. Grey eyes followed the poetry of movement before her.
Killian sat on the gorgeous Friesian as if she were born there. She held her strong legs snug to the wide sides as she rode the inside ring of the corral on the cantering mare. Nessa thought they were so synchronized in movement that it appeared as if the two were one being.
Suddenly the psychic lass pulled her head up and met the gaze of those gray eyes. Killian felt more than saw the turmoil in and around her friend. She drew Midnight to a soft walk and came to the fence rail to look more fully into the warrior’s face. “Good morning Nessa.” She smiled. “Did you come to ride with us?”
Nessa thought the day got brighter with that smile. She flashed one of her own. “Yes lass.” She grasped the top of the rail and leaped over it. “I’ll get Tuttle and we can ride to the forest.” The Celt felt a tension come over Killian. The forest and Nessa usually meant a whipping or some other traumatic event was in the offing. Nessa grinned. “No lass… today it is but a simple ride… rest your fear.”
Killian eased visibly at those words. It wasn’t that she didn’t like the discipline of the Celt. She just wanted to have a quiet day today. Her latest encounters with warriors gave her quite enough of the heavy hand for a while. She watched Nessa’s tall form disappear into the stable. She thought she was more comfortable with this wild-looking Celt than with any warrior since Caitlin. The thought of her Caitlin brought wistfulness to her aura.
Nessa emerged from the stables already astride Tuttle. They rode toward the tree line in silence for a few minutes. Suddenly Killian wanted to test the speed of her mare. “Race?” she said mischievously. Then before Nessa could think of a word the lass and her mount pitched into a gallop that was beautiful to see. Nessa gave a high whistle and Tuttle kicked sod on a hard run.
Nessa gave the warhorse rein and they came galloping close beside the Black mare and her rider. But Nessa could see that the Friesian beauty was holding back as if she was unsure of her rider’s will. “Let ‘er go Killy!” the Celt shouted above the thundering hooves.
Killian heard and released the psychic hold she had on the horse. Midnight flame tore out in front like a shooting star. Oh, it was a thing to behold. The power of that black horse was phenomenal. The beauty if the two flying through the air was going to live on in the Celt’s memory.
Reaching the forest well before Nessa and Tuttle, Killian reined in. She was gushing with the feeling of love she had for this animal. She sent the love straight to Midnight. They were bonded as if it had always been. Perhaps it had on some level. Killian dismounted and watched Nessa thunder in on Tuttle.
It was a beautiful morning. Nessa walked through the forest beside Killian. The pair of horses followed. The Celt felt like this was all she would ever want again in life. She was amazed at how quiet the beautiful sub could be. The ache came on then.
Killian felt a change come over her friend. “What is it Nessa?”
Nessa stopped. She pulled Killian to her gently, holding her upper arms. All the thinking and pacing and inner battles culminated into this moment. She took in a deep breath and said, “Killian, lass… I fear that I love you just a bit too much. Certainly more than a protector ought to love her charge.” She swallowed. “You see lass, it leaves me in a bit of a bind. I want to lay claim on you and I know I cannot. Caitlin is the love of your life… your soul.”
Killian was stunned. She opened her mouth to speak but Nessa put a finger up in signal for silence.
“Now, lass let me finish.” Nessa waited until she saw those brown eyes show attention. “I know Caitlin will return. I have to find a way to reconcile my feelings for you and your feelings for her. ‘Tis a state of affairs I am not lookin’ forward to lass.”
Killian was speechless. She felt the storm in the lord. She worried at where it might lead but she could do nothing. They walked through the forest in silence. At the forest’s edge, Killian stopped and put her arms up and around the Celt’s neck. She hugged her friend fiercely.
Nessa held on to Killian then pushed away. “You go on home now lass. I’ll be finding my peace here for a time.”
Killian wanted to argue with Nessa but she knew it would get her nowhere. She mounted the gift her friend and protector gave her and rode home in a quandary. She had no idea what to think or do. “Whew!” she thought. “Life sure gets complicated.”
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(Lord Nessa) --
The black Friesian mare danced backward as Killian pulled the reins in. The horse was filled with energy and joy at the feel of Killian on her back. There was a spark between them from the beginning. Midnight sensed that her little mistress honored her… a rarity in humans, to honor animals.
Killian knew she was in for regular plunges into enchantment with this precious friend. They seemed to speak to each other, body-to-body, muscle-to-muscle, soul-to-soul. She pulled in a deep breath of gratitude. She thought of the bearer of this gift and something in her felt heavy. The beautiful lass dismounted Midnight and walked her to the stables. She spoke softly to the ebony horse as she brushed her and filled the feeding trough.
Killian’s thoughts were on the Celtic warrior who came into her life months ago. She felt like she watched the Celt change and grow throughout that time. Nessa reminded her of Caitlin. Killian felt that combination of love and longing for the one who had her heart and left so long ago. She walked in silence to her room. Tears spilled up out of her before she reached the door. “Oh, Caitlin… where are you?” She fell over on the bed and buried her face in the pillow. Her body heaved with sobs. Then gentle sleep took her to heal in a dream of the freedom of thundering hooves beneath her speeding mare.
The dream showed her stopping by a lakeside. The water shimmered in the moonlight. She looked down in it and saw her Caitlin’s face wavering there in the depths. The warrior smiled that heart-grabbing smile and spoke. “Killian, my love, I will be a while longer. Don’t waste yourself in waiting. Give yourself to love.”
The lass was shocked at the sight and shocked at those words. But she woke up from her dream resolving to make things feel better for her dear Nessa… and for herself. “Give yourself to love,” echoed in her mind. She realized then that the Celt loved her more than any other beside Caitlin. She trusted Nessa with her life. She would trust her with her heart. The knock on her door brought her sitting straight up. “Come in” she spoke barely above a whisper. But the command was heard. The door opened to reveal a tall, red haired warrior standing for love and her own wild heart.
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(Lord Nessa) --
Nessa’s heart was beating so hard she felt it drumming in her ears. Killian was so much more mature than when they first met. Something had occurred within the lass that caused her to grow into the beautiful woman who lay on a bed looking back at the Celt. Desire was evident in those deep brown eyes. Nessa couldn’t tell if the desire for sex was the solitary desire in the lass or if there was a mingling of different things going on. She decided it must be more. Killian was anything but shallow.
“Kil… I am sorry if… “
The words were barely out of Nessa’s mouth before Killian leaped from the bed to stand in front of the warrior with a finger pressing against the taller woman’s lips in a gesture to silence her. She stood very close. The finger began to trace the full mouth. It trailed down the Celt’s neck and into the open collar of the green silk shirt.
Heat flared in Nessa’s center. But before she could give in to the demand of it she needed to get clear with Killian. She raised a hand and took hold of the small wrist that was making its way into her shirt front. “Wait lass. There’s something that must be said here. I need to know where I stand with you lass.”
Killian drew back and looked into gray eyes. She knew in her heart that she could not lie to this warrior. “Alright Nessa” she breathed. “You are right about Caitlin. I know she will find me. I know she lives.” Tears formed. “She is living in my heart and she always will, my dear friend. She is the one… the one.” That was all she could say.
“And what about this thing that lives between us Killian? Will you deny that it is there?”
“No, Nessa. I will not deny it. I want you… I dream of you. I need you and I love you.”
“And what would Caitlin say to that?”
“I know well what she would say… already has said it to me in my dreams and my heart. She said I should not deny my needs and that I should give myself to love.” Killian watched the Celt’s brows lift.
“Give yourself to love?”
“Yes Nessa. She has no claim on me formally although she will. But she knows how I need… how I am. She told me not to hold back.”
“Does she know how I feel about you?” Nessa asked.
“I don’t know that Nessa… how do you feel about me?”
Nessa felt herself swallow. She grappled with words. “I… I just know that I think about you and when I do, a feeling comes up that I don’t think I ever had before. It is the same feeling I get when I see you. You are so… so… special.”
Killian smiled. “Do you think you could keep me special in your heart and allow me to love Caitlin as I do while loving you at the same time?”
Nessa loved how the light danced in Killian’s eyes. “I don’t know lass.” Then she thought about her darkest desires for a woman. Killian would never be that woman. Those kinds of demands on this lass, would build a wall between them. Killian came into Nessa’s life softly through an unmarked door. She could leave as she came. The thought of such a loss was unbearable to the Celt.
Nessa spent uncounted chunks of time and no little effort reconciling, accepting and finally embracing the dark need that lived inside her. She understood this part of herself. It simmered inside her like lava. When the volcanic need erupted, there was no stopping it. Could she deny this now, even if Killian were to give up Caitlin and acquiesce to Nessa’s claim?
What of love then? Killian could never freely give what Nessa would eventually want to take from her. The warrior knew the point to stop with the lass now. But if she thought she had claim… how long would it be before she let go of reason while in the grip of dark need?
Nessa realized at that moment that Caitlin was right for Killian. She would always love this wondrous friend. She would protect the lass with her own life. But she would never be able to claim her.
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(Killian) --
Killian knew she couldn't go as dark as her friend needed. She breathed in deeply as she spoke the truth.
"I understand, Nessa, that you have a darkness that I can't fill. But I want you. I need you. I have needed you for a long time now."
Killian held the strong hand, and looked deeply into simmering gray eyes.
"Perhaps... perhaps we can love each other, here, and now, and let this be what it is."
Killian looked into the vulnerable eyes of her friend. The lass reached up and began to undo the Buttons on Nessa's green shirt. smoldering brown eyes fixed on gray, and wouldn't leave.
The smaller woman slid fabric off of strong and noble shoulders, to reveal a beautifully naked torso. She traced her fingers in a figure eight in Nessa's chest, and kissed the center of her breasts, softly.
The Dark One's eyes fall into the woman Killian had become. she felt at home there.
The waning light from the cool day sets quietly outside of Killian's bedroom. There was only the light in the fireplace to illuminate the two intense women. Each, so deeply lost in the other that neither notices the darkness creeping upon them.
Killian unfastens Ness's belt and pulls it from it's loops. She stops, taking the belt into her hands, and feeling it's worn leather. She pauses in the dusk, looking briefly out the window at a passing hawk. Killian turns back, and hands the belt to her friend. Taking a step back, Killian begins to slowly remove her clothes, not losing any eye contact with the Celt.
Nessa swallows and is barely able to stand there and watch the wonder that is before her.
Killian looks at the Lord, naked, and wanting.
"Where will you have me Nessa?" Killian asks with deep warmth in her voice. "Bent over the bed? Over your lap? Over pillows? I offer myself to you, Nessa, for now, fully. Is that enough for you, my friend?"
Killian waits patiently and with love, for the Dark Lord's reply.
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(Conclusion by Lord Nessa) --
Nessa held her belt. She stood quietly gazing at the naked beauty before her. She dropped her stare from Killian’s deep brown eyes to plump breasts and hard nipples. The warrior was so caught up in sensations, she nearly forgot Killian’s question. Killian was the only woman who ever had such an effect on the Celt.
Nessa was remembering past encounters with the adorable sub. Each time it was a little more intense; a little more consuming; a little more thrilling, a little less controlled. She didn’t like the sense of not being in control. But there it was. She loved everything about this lass and she had absolutely no control over that love.
Now Killian stood before her stripped naked, vulnerable, and gorgeous offering herself for the taking. This was doing nothing for Nessa’s sense of waning control, nor to temper the growing heat in her center. Her helplessness over her own feelings merely increased. Still, such an offer was not to be dismissed… or denied. Nessa knew Killian would stand and wait as long as it took. But the sub wouldn’t have to.
Nessa drew in a long breath and stepped around and behind the naked lass. She lowered her head to look over Killian’s shoulder and down to those breasts. She was close. She breathed her answer. “Alright lass. It will be what it is.”
Nessa reached under an arm and took a breast in her hand. She pulled the lass back against her, squeezing that breast gently. She whispered into Killian’s ear. “Out of the choices of how I want you… we will start with you laying down over pillows, Killian. Then I am going to tie you down to the bed so that you don’t thrash about during your whipping.” Nessa heard the lass gasp. Her own heart thumped within her at the thought of seeing her beautiful charge straining helplessly at her bonds.
The warrior ran her hand from Killian’s breast down over her soft tummy and on down to press against the hair covered mound. She held it there and continued. “I want to tell you why I want you over pillows lass.” Killian’s breathing got ragged, making Nessa smile. She pressed a little harder against Killian’s sweet sex. “I want you over pillows with your bare bottom raised high because when your ass is welted enough and is red enough and when you are yelling enough, I am going to open my britches and fuck you from behind.” She heard a sob come from the sub.
“Aw now lass. You know what I must do. You know how I love to whip you.” Suddenly Nessa pulled away leaving Killian to stand alone. She walked back around to face the lass. Taking the tear-streaked face in her hand she kissed Killian with the depth and meaning of her true feelings.
Breaking the kiss and stepping back now, Nessa spoke firmly. “Get over there now lass and do as you are bid.” She watched Killian move, so womanly and graceful. It was thrilling to be obeyed knowing the lass was afraid. She knew also that there was a great deal of excitement blending with that fear.
Nessa waited until Killian was positioned over pillows. She tied her hands and feet to the bedposts. Her movements were slow and methodical causing all kinds of lust to break out. The Celt stood at the side of the bed savoring this sight. The whipping began. Nessa was not too hard with her swinging arm at first. But Killian’s cries and straining brought the warrior to a fever pitch of strikes on that beautiful welting ass. She nearly went over the brink with the sheer ecstasy this brought her. She did not want to stop. She thought she could do this all night. But her need to mount her lass was becoming a pressure.
Nessa threw the belt across the room and watched Killian’s straining body ease down with the end of the whipping. She listened, as the screaming became short cries and then quiet sobbing. True to her needs, the Celt leaped between the spread legs that quivered so under her touch. She kept her wild gray eyes on her target.
Nessa opened her britches and pulled that phallus out. She held it, stroked it as if she could feel it while her other hand rubbed over Killian’s sore bottom and finally rested fingers against that secret space. A thumb rubbed lightly against the little opening she longed for. Killian stiffened. “No, Nessa.”
It was a plea that Nessa was loath to listen to but she did. She listened and refrained from plunging into the sweet ass. Instead, The Celt pressed against a very wet cunt with the phallus and thrust her hips forward, sinking it deep within her beautiful captive. Killian cried out with the pleasure of it and kept crying out with each powerful thrust.
Nessa reached in front and down to hold a swollen clit with the palm of her hand. Killian milked out her orgasm as if it were the last one. Nessa heard the sounds of ecstasy from the lass and fucked as hard as she could. On and on she drove that phallus in. Her climax came rumbling up in her. It thundered through her and held for one long last thrust. The Celt fell exhausted over the one she loved.
Morning found the lovers wrapped around each other in soft slumber. Killian was on top. Her beautiful bottom held high and proud and far away from anything that might touch it. She nestled into the Celt and wondered at her own sense of safety in the arms of such a wild warrior.
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The End - 'Nessa Feels' - by Lord Nessa & Killian