Kindred Spirit Lodge Presents
The Tale of Two Kitties
by Mistress Ikarias
January 11th, 2002
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The Tale Begins...
Ikarias mused, "Isn't little wench tripping and tossing an Olympic sport this year? Ah, the Tale of Two Kitties..."
Lady Alison sighed and covered twilight's tender ears with Her hands. ...
Ikarias sat back grinning. "It was a handful of years ago when I first met the delectable Lady Alicat, *ducking a flagon thrown by said Lady...* She was engaged in finding her way in the world, in a tad less sartorial splendor. Lady Muen, Infinite rest her soul, had a charming establishment for all sorts of feminine entertainment. Lady Alison was a gaming participant, *ducking a tray tossed like a frisbee* ABOVE REPROACH! She was extremely facile with all sorts of things, a bit of juggling, knife throwing, whip play. She even had a tame salamander that would light folks' cigars on command. I think the critter ran off with a basilisk."
Lady Alison nodded, smiling at the reverie. She had made a tiny bridal veil for the basilisk so she wouldn't turn her lover into stone.
The half-drake continued, "Lady Muen had a policy that hired outside folks for amusement, these women were not at the disposal of clientele the way any inside girls were. If the client and entertainer found common interests, that was one thing, but they were not part of the board of fare.
"Occasionally Lady Muen put on silent skits for a select audience. She would enlist the assistance of customers, working girls and outside help. Lady Alison volunteered to play the part of a mild-mannered dragon, who is stalked by an inept knight, played by a trollop by the name of Meg. Meg had assets and abilities, but the little twit was also insecure, since even then Lady Alison had a quiet dignity and natural radiance. Meg was looking daggers at her all evening."
"Daggers, nettles, darts, throwing stars, cactus needles," Lady Alison recalled, sotto voice.
"A few silver plated gauze pieces made up Meg's 'armor' and Lady Alison wore glittering body paint in golden scales with a mask complete with horns. And she had a tail affixed to her lower spine." Ikarias' eyes looked distantly at the fond memory. "She made an excellent dragon." The half-breed applauded her friend.
"To the background of a small drum and a plaintive flute, The Lady Alison Dragon slept upon a tall pile of shimmering coins of painted cloth. I threw some real ones, and so did many other appreciative audience members. The inept knight, Meg, came forth with a sword, supposedly as I found out later to be of fleece in a colored parchment roll. Instead it turned out to be a rather long, and heroically endowed phallus of braided leather.
"The dragon slept, was prodded. The dragon yawned and rolled over, the knight kept poking. Swats and roars and pokes and chasing about 'til the whole audience was fit to be tied as the poor dragon just wanted peace. The knight lost most of her armor, and she tripped the dragon. Meg then tried to stick the dragon in the wrong place, and that's when Lady Alison's good-nature evaporated."
Lady Alison had a contented if a wee bit smug smile.
"She bucked, throwing off the trollop and then spun her so that she fell on the tall pile of treasure, her backside to the audience. That last part of her armor was ripped off by the Lady, who then proceeded to sit on the girl's back and heartily spank her with the phallus. That pleased everyone but Meg, to no end, well to her end, until she started getting warm and wriggling. In full view, and what a view, the Lady then proceeded to make her displeasure known by roundly and soundly fucking Meg with the 'sword' until she cried uncle, back several generations."
Ikarias applauded her friend again. "So that, dear lodgers is the tale of two kitties. Won by the incomparable Lady Alicat."
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At NO time has Lady Alison acted in anything other than a proper ladylike genteel manner befitting Her dignified bearing and absolute charm.
Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe
Law Offices for Lady Alison
Ikarias continued the playful exchange, "And let me tell you, warriors and wenchlettes, Lady Alison's charms were never so absolute!"
dj could barely contain herself. She snorked out laughter at the legal degree issued by Dewey, Cheetum, Howe, and Alison! "A regal and truly dignified Lady she is -- even with a sword/phallus/paddle in hand!"
The wench kept playing with Alison, "uhh, Lady, do you still have your horn, tail, body paint, and that infamous phallussword? We could always mount them somewhere in honor of your Dragon Knight days!"
Ikarius took a long drink, "Yanno, I do believe the last time I saw that particular weapon of lust it was tightly and wetly embedded and claimed as an Alicat ass trophy..."
Alison turned to ole dragon butt..."See? See what you've gone and done now? I burned it all, poof...wooosh...fire BIG fire..so sorry sweet dj."
The historian's little hand had been flying across the parchment. She took notes, scribbled down all the hilarious exchanges, and was ready to archive this dignified Alicat Dragon SwordPhallus Tale.
"Mistress, wenchy can't thank you enough for sharing such an enlightening story with us. You've shown us a part of Alicat that many of us have never seen before." dj's eyes were sparkling with mirth. "I gotta admit, the ending was superb. The Lady sure did a grand fucking number with that swordly phallus! Crying uncle several generations back was also a hoot!"
The blonde woman winked at Ikarias. "Your Tale of Two Kitties has been forever preserved. It's blazoned in print over in our archives."
Turning towards Alison, dj smiled a crooked grin, "Lady, I was sorry to hear about the fire engulfing your props, but never fear, wenchy won't let the elements destroy this Tail!"
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The End - 'A Tale of 2 Kitties' - by Ikarias (snickers by dj &
swats by Alicat!)
Continue to - 'Ikarias Background Part 2'